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Bangladesh, and an ailing sport called cricket

By Tausif Salim

‘Chawbis tak khicho nah... khicho khicho!'
Every time we think Indian Ads cannot get any more pathetic, they come up with something that groans even louder. If making those kids place orders for grotesquely oversized 'uniforms' make them feel any better, let them. But surely that can't change a lot, at least not in another four years. Not even with regular intakes of Pepsi Gold or glucose biscuits for that matter.

'Aab har ghar main Sachin'
Kinda gives me the creeps. Think about one million mini-me Sachins running out in their diapers and screaming in their squeaky voices. And worse still, what if they come up with a 'Har ghar main Mandira formula?' YUCK!

Okay, now let's get straight to the point: India is coming to Bangladesh. The Same India that has denied us the right to play the return test on their country for six years; the country that has fattened us for the kill in the world cup and got flattened in the process. The country that shamelessly abuses the media, making players spend more time in the studio than the nets and comes up with ridiculous TV shows like India glorious and Extraaa innings. Yes, this is the same India folks, and it's high time they get a real taste of Bangladesh.

Cricket is no less a religion here than in India, perhaps even more. But the difference is that we still treat it as a sport, and not as a bloody business formula to sell everything from radioactive hair gels to chocolate drinks. We don't insult the sport by engaging in sponsorship rows, or denying a country the chance to play just because it will not earn enough ticket and sponsor revenue. And thanks to the most greedy and impotent sports body in the world called ICC, they get away with it every single time.

Perhaps that's why Bangladesh's win its subsequent entry in the 2nd round at the expense of India is so important. The fact that both Pakistan and India were elbowed out of the world by so-called lesser teams symbolizes an end of an era: an era of corporate cricket making way for an era where the game is played and watched for the passion and thrill it generates. The game and its system need a serious makeover. Some may dismiss it as wishful thinking but in reality a change is already taking place.

As for our own expectations, we should neither expect nor ask our team to win a lot of matches against India, or anyone else for that matter. All we can ask of them is to play well: for the sake of the millions of us who will be watching and praying every ball, cheering every shot, and mourning every single setback, and most of all, for the sake of the game itself. No, we will not worship you, and neither will we set fire on your homes if you do not perform as we expect. You are national heroes to us, and we hope you will be.

Let us all back our team one more time. Let the passions flow again, let us hold our flags high and cheer for Bangladesh. As Sambit Bal of Cricinfo puts it quite fittingly, cricket has long lost its soul, and India's early exit from the world has actually been good for cricket. Perhaps it is up to nations like us, with our unadulterated love for the game, to give back cricket its lost pride.

In your face

By Shadman Alvi

There was a time when, devoid of any social awareness we could do whatever we felt like doing, we could say what we wanted to and wet our beds when we didn't want to go to the toilet. Yeah…I miss those good old days as a kid. But nowadays when I look around me I realize in disgust that I am surrounded by a bunch of fake people. We do what our reputation allows us to do; we say what our carefully sculptured personality permits us to and worst of all we never have the guts to speak our mind.

But this can't go on for ever, can it? No, hell no. We have to tear apart this mask we put on ourselves for the sake of adopting ourselves in the society. So from now on don't care about what others are thinking about you or what they are saying about you. Cause it's not your fault that they are unable to witness life from a non-linear perspective. Do whatever you want to do, unless of course you want to kill someone or run around naked. Needless to say these conducts would lead to some dire consequences. So first let's lay down some rules, you are entitled to do anything which doesn't conflict with the laws of our country and doesn't involve running around without any clothes.

After the exclusion of such things, the most important part of doing-what-you-want-to-do is saying-what-you-want-to-say. This is something we teenagers are rarely seen doing. However we do engage ourselves in a gross conduct, which we have successfully inherited from our ancestors. That is, gossiping or talking behind someone's back or most appropriately, in plain Bengali “kutnami”. Trust me when I say girls and boys both actively take part in such “discussions” in their own separate ways. Yeah I know it's really fun. But do you know what is even more fun? Saying these very things right in front of that very person. In that way not only the fun is multiplied, but the mocked person can also protest if he thinks your careful observation of his “crime” is not correct.

So next time you think someone's attitude stinks then don't wait for him to leave so you can poke fun at him. Go to him and tell him “You stink like the shit of the worst thing I ever smelled”.

If your physics teacher is lecturing on nuclear chain reactions and you don't understand a single word he is saying then don't just sit there staring at the board like a lame duck. Stand up and tell him that he is apparently not doing a good job in teaching. Don't worry, hopefully you will find some fellow classmates who are even more lost than you are.

If you think that the girl sitting next to you is deliberately being attractive for the mere purpose of distracting you then don't let her succeed in her evil scheme. Tell her exactly how you feel; after all it is her fault.

When you hear something humiliating about someone, you should confront that person before making it your sole duty to inform every single living being about it. If you are correct then congratulation and if you are wrong then good luck, you are gonna need it.

Next time when your girlfriend asks you how she looks don't just tell her what she wants to hear. Be honest and speak the truth. For instance, you can say, “Maybe this time round we should order Diet Coke” or “Yeah, you look good but I have dated better”. These seemingly rude comments can really help to make your relationship successful because as we all know girls like guys who are funny and honest.

If you think one of your nerdy classmates is making you look bad by being so damn good in his studies then tell him that he should really stop studying so much or prepare to suffer the consequences. Trust me, It's better then laughing at him and making fun of him behind his back.

So my point being, never dip pineapple in milk before eating…..wait a minute….I wasn't talking about that, was I? Anyhow, I don't feel like writing anymore. And who is going to make me? Huh? NOONE. So I guess I won't fin...


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