The week in re(ar)view
Too much gas
A lot of gas up in the air and that too when politicians are keeping their mouths shut. You might argue that gas can also emanate form other ends. But this time it is from the Titas gas field. It has lost more than a hundred crore taka worth of gas due to leakage since December 2003, experts say. Our experts say that THAT is a huge amount of money. And here we are waiting for hours in line to load up cars with gas when so much is floating freely.
Building go down as they go up
Buildings usually go up as more floors are added. In Bangladesh we like to do things in reverse for the challenge of the matter. Here, buildings go down because of floors that go up. Newton would have had a headache devising new scientific theories if he was alive now. Around 60 families were evacuated from the Dayaganj sweeper colony in Sutrapur as the ground floor of a newly-constructed six-storey building nearby subsided on 25 May.
Bangladesh getting green award
Prepare to be shocked. A Bangladeshi project is to compete for world's leading green energy awards. A project has been selected as one of the 10 finalists to compete in London next month.
But that is not the shocking thing. Shocking thing is that we have just discovered that the Resident Conspiracy Theorist (RCT) is actually a mole. No, not the mole that doles out secrets to others but an actual mole. With fur even!
As for the award Shidhulal Swanirvar Sangstha of Bangladesh was selected for building up a fleet of 88 boats that use solar energy to bring education, training and renewable energy supplies to over 400,000 people living in remote Chalanbeel area. Brilliant!
But a mole? Boggles the mind, doesn't it?
Mobile phones banned in main customs office
Mobile phones can be used for taking pictures, playing games, listening to music, shaving and even for talking to other people. We Bangladeshis have added a new feature. It can be used for bribing purposes. Authorities have banned use of mobile phones in the nation's main customs house to stop traders offering bribes to government officials, an official said yesterday. Phone operators can start a new service called EasyBribe where you transfer money to desired crook through airwaves.
Traders paid 9.43 billion taka (137 million dollars) in bribes to Chittagong port and customs officials in 2006. Anyone thinking of a new profession?
Law of the universe (discovered in the heart of Bangladesh): Flaws don't stay hidden for long. More importantly, flaws exist everywhere and will crop up eventually. Question is 'when'? A team of experts examined the Gulistan-Jatrabari flyover and said its design and layout is seriously flawed. Heck, we knew that every time we say people stranded on top. Apparently traffic congestion will go up as the constructors aim to maximise tolls rather than speed up traffic.They criticised the design for the way it artificially forces traffic onto the flyover apparently to increase revenue.
By Gokhra and Mood Dude
I went to become a well-rounded person; not a cynic
Last week, a very personalized article was written about the stupid classes that schools 'try' to pass off as ECAs ('I went to learn, not to become suicidal'). The author thought those classes were extremely stupid and they even made him contemplate suicide. It seems to me that they would not have seemed so stupid had he not been so busy being self-centered.
Tapping into your creative side
Just because the author was not able to pick up a brush himself and just try to paint some colours onto a vase, does not make losers of others who enjoy creativity. For your information, some of us do have a secret ambition to become the next Picasso.
Singing your way to success
Kids actually love singing rhymes! In middle school you have music classes where you get to learn more matured songs providing an outlet for those who actually have the talent. Does anyone see anything wrong in coming together to learn and sing a couple of patriotic songs - some of the words to which we should know?
Do you remember way back when you first started school as a snotty five year old who had always been pampered and was mommy's little girl/boy? Well, most of you probably don't but I spent a few months teaching kindergarten as an assistant teacher and believe me, most of the kids are selfish monsters! You can't blame them of course; this is their first time being in an interactive environment where they are not the centre of the world. That's why it is necessary to have classes where the kids can be taught to share, co-operate and be nice to each other. About the whole umbrella episode, why in the world wouldn't a person getting soaked in the rain ask to share an umbrella with you? What I understand from the author is that he'd only like to share an umbrella with a female.
Lessons like these should never be mocked but instead learned and then applied to real life. As mentioned before, education is not about just memorizing books. It's also about being involved in character building things like sports and art and learning how to communicate with the people who share this world with you. It's a basic difference that brings out the creative and the literate.
By Nisma Elias
Send all your queries, complaints, praise, money and write-ups to email@example.com
5 things girls are confused about
The article “5 things girls can't live without” seems to be causing a stir in our uneventful lives during the emergency state. I think it was a good read. It was just a funny take on girls. I am sure the writer didn't mean to hurt anyone. It was realistic also (I am a guy, heh heh). I advise the agitated females that it is high time to expand the horizons of their sense of humour. Hey, being funny doesn't cost you a penny.
I've been taking Daily star for about three years now and the only reason I'm taking is Rising Star. To me, it is the very best supplement I've ever known. But today when I opened RS and saw the 'Vox pop', my head was on fire. The topic in question, "Is it fair on clinically dead patients to be kept alive using life support?"
Answers were mostly shocking. Do they actually understand what is the value of a life to their near ones. Some even went to the extent of saying that the money should be 'UTILIZED IN BETTER WAYS' or keeping them alive like that is only being 'SELFISH'.
If your family member was in a similar state, would you still say this is wrong and this money should be 'UTILIZED IN BETTER WAYS'. How could the writer ask some teens a question like that? What is the value of a 'Vox Pop' which is based on some students of some particular school? It is supposed to be based on people from various stages of life.
Secondly, there was a lot of hoopla regarding “'5 things girls can't/can live without'. It's true that some girls are freaky and creepy as the main writer mentioned. It's also true vice versa. I just want to ask the angry girls that the main article was supposed to be funny. There are jokes on doctors, lawyers and everything else existing on our world, don't we? So when we get angry about a subject like this, we only seem to prove that the matter is true. I'm a girl and I pass my free time by playing computer games, hearing songs and reading different books and not by ' gossiping and giggling foolishly'. And there's a lot of girls around us who do these things.
I'm not trying to defend the writer but I'm trying to say, please don't prove we are dumb by accepting the funny stuff as real.
One of our readers points out yet another ridiculous weight loss device: “Regarding Nisma Elias's article "Need to lose...(May 17)", she forgot to mention the Chinese slimming soap sold in BD at around 1200 taka”
Now you can also wash off your excess weight? What's next? Ed.
A guy was staying in a fancy hotel and was enjoying the pool when the manager told him to get out. When asked for the reason, the manager said, "Because you urinated in the pool." "Well," replied the swimmer, "lots of people do that." "True," answered the manager, "but you did it from the diving board."
There was this guy in a mental hospital. All day long he had his ear to the wall, listening. The doctor would watch this guy do this day after day. The doctor finally decided to see what the guy was listening to, so he put his ear up to the wall and listened. He heard nothing. He turned to the mental patient and said, "I don't hear anything." The mental patient said, "Yeah, I know. It's been like that for months."
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross-eyed. Is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy."
I worked for a while at a Wal-Mart store, selling sporting goods. As an employee of Wal-Mart you are sometimes required to make store-wide pages, e.g., "I have a customer in hardware who needs assistance at the paint counter." One night a tentative female voice came over the intercom system with the following message: "I have a customer by the balls in the toy department who needs assistance." +--
Location: Ferris Wheel, Shishu Park
How to get there: Go to Shahbag National Children's Park, More popularly known as Shishu park, buy a ticket to the giant Ferris wheel and then wait till it reaches the highest peak.
The Adda: You can addafy with up to four friends in the cage. Since there are only four friends and nobody's listening, it's the perfect place to share your secrets with your friends, or to form a secret political alliance in mid air. Perfect for those politicians who are barred from doing any kind of “Ghoroa Politics”. You can discuss how ugly the city has turned into or which is the tallest building right now in Dhaka city. Try to bring a Binocular for a bird's-eye view of Dhaka or to catch chicks from a unique point of elevation. Not recommended for those with fear of height, or fear of flying (again another unique selling point of this unique Adda place).
The Pros: You may brag yourself for being an addabaz of the highest (!) order. Or even say that you were really high (!) while addafying. Besides, if you have never been in an aeroplane (not the Bangladesh Biman ones, a real one which actually flies), you can find out how it feels actually by spending a fraction of the money.
The Cons: bad for people with Fear of height. Might get really dangerous if the ageing Ferris wheel decides to give in with you on the top. Also you run the risk of being called a polapan by your friends, but then, what do they know?
By Monty Python
The chart topping hits this week
1. Boka Manushta- Sumon & Aurthohin-2
2. Shopnochura-3- Mixed album by Tony
3. Live Now- Mixed album by Ershad
4. Shorjo Dibosh- Striking
5. Adhare Apshori
1. Shurje Badhi Basha- Krishno Koly
2. Notun kore pabo bole - Shahana
3. Din Bari Jae- Bappa Mojubdar
4. Ichchhe- Tahsan
5. Hok Kolorob- Arnob
6. Shono- Habib
7. Bujhchho?!!- Prayer Hall
8. Boka Manushta- Sumon & Aurthohin-2
9. Faissa Gechhi- Hyder Husyn
10. Adhare Apshori
Source: Piano, Sings, Ghuri.
By Sami, Shovon.