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Scene kids

You've seen them on TV, heard them on illegally downloaded mp3s, and even wanted them for pets. I know I did. Wherever you look, they're present. They're everywhere. They are the scene kids.

Emo Boy: This is your quintessential male scenester. He is a mixture of every sub genre in the underground music scene. From his 'hip' graphic tees, down to his snug girl jeans, he's a popular one with the ladies. But he will insist on the fact that he is terrible with women, ugly, and has a meaningless life. Well the last may be correct. He will take pictures from certain angles so as to keep half of his face invisible, or in the dark. He will then post them up on his myspace profile, or facebook, or some other online community, where he has at least five hundred 'friends'.

People often question his hairstyle and his use of makeup, but he will assure them that he is just expressing himself. Despite listening to pop songs written for the radio he will be the first one to denounce an underground band the second they make it big. The media embraces him as a poster child for its emo subculture. In his free time, he likes to stand on railway tracks trying to get rolled over, because he is too deep and too emo for this world.

Emo Girl: The other half of the Emo Boy, this little gem here spends most of her time attempting suicide, or taking pictures of herself attempting suicide, so as to post them on the internet, and make more emo friends. She updates her online journal on an hourly basis so as to keep everyone posted on her ever-evolving emo life. When it comes to boys she only dates the ones with the exact same music taste as hers, because in the end of the day, isn't music taste what really matters?

Social Networking Junkie: “omg! new pix! new pix! new pix! plz comment!” This person, more often than not a she, is well on her way to becoming Internet's most sought after celebrity. She has over 38, 987 friends and most are men “just dropping by to show some love”. If I had a nickel for every photo comment she gets I could buy myspace.

If you can actually see through all the glittery text on her profile, and the 50 or so embedded youtube videos, you'll find an insecure and attention hungry girl who just needs to learn to keep her clothes on!

“Goth”: This guy's a combination of Marilyn Manson, The Undertaker, and Bozo the Clown. He isn't gothic in the traditional sense; he does not humour Victorian or Medieval styles. Rather, his mom's makeup, his dad's tie, and his sister's pants (or sometimes even skirt) have been donated to the cause of his outfit.

His obsession with angst-ridden music is sort of ironic since he hasn't suffered a day in his upper middle-class suburban life. His favorite songs revolve around girls covered in blood, nightmares with knives and setting his friends on fire. Anyone dressing like this past the age of fifteen should seek help. But of course, I bet they would love the attention.

Punk: The rebel without a cause. He is not a punk in the traditional sense. Oh no. He idolizes Green Day, spends considerable time making sure his hair looks unkempt, and takes pride in the fact that he is against the grain and so 'hardcore'!

If you need to find him, he is the guy wearing the band T-shirts. He probably walk around with a skateboard in his hands, or at least a few cuts to show for it. Despite what he is, if you've met him, I'm sure he has called you a poser at least once.

Gangsta: No need to be wary, or alarmed, despite his tag, if you really look into it he's a little boy with a heart of gold. Now there is no guide to understanding him but I'm sure if one really listens one can understand what he's saying despite him sounding like he has a mouth full of cotton. He will assure you that he's “gettow” enough to “bust a cap” in his own eloquent way. From his baggy clothes to his closely cropped hair, he can tell you exactly why getting high is good, hustling out on the streets is a thing of pride, what the seven day theory about Tupac is and show you how rapper MIMS is hot.

He makes 'z' sounds with his mouth that rhyme! He has tried, at least once, to record his rhymes, that he calls his 'spit' or his 'flow'. He passes himself off as a poet, with rhymes about struggle and life in the streets. Despite his claims, his dad is probably a doctor, and he lives in the suburbs with his family and does 'rap-battles' online.

By Ahsan Sajid

The cryptic universe

Whatever you're doing, stop. Now imagine you're in a sea beach, and you're waiting for the fiery red sun to set. The wind is blowing strands of your hair away, and the waves are crashing at your feet.....

No, stop getting distracted! (shakes person out of daydream). Your aim is to watch the sunset only, okay? You watch the blood-red sun waving you goodbye, noticing nothing amiss. Only, the sun is red, and what's wrong with it, right? Wrong. The setting sun would've looked blue, if only dust in air would not have deflected blue light more than red.The sun appears red because red light can travel more better through haze than blue light.

The beginning: The early universe, at the beginning of its formation, was an extremely hot ball of radiation, but particles began to cool fast during expansion. By the time the universe was about a millionth of a second old, much energy had been converted to protons, that is, the nuclei of hydrogen atoms. Electrons formed in the next few million seconds, and collided with protons to make neutrons. These protons reacted with neutrons in the next quarter of an hour to form nuclei of helium atoms. While the universe continued expanding, a quarter of its matter was converted from hydrogen to helium. The remaining hydrogen was then used for star formation.

The universe: finite or infinite? : There are two theories about the shape of the universe. It's either curved and closed yet without a boundary, like the Earth, or it is curved spirally outward, stretching into infinity.

Time travel: Contrary to belief, time travel is actually possible, but only vicariously. For example if we see a star or galaxy that is 10 billion light years away, we are actually looking at ancient history; we are seeing how the star or galaxy was 10 billion years ago. Now, if that's not time travel, what is?

The end: The Big Bang theory says that the universe originated from a tiny dense space. Now if that is right, the end has to be in a contrasting fashion, and this is where the Big Crunch theory comes in.

Apparently our expanding universe will one day contract so fantastically that we would go on to become the tiny dense space we came from.However, the Big Crunch theory is possible if Einstein's theory of relativity is ineffective for large scale situations, so there's no reason to grieve as yet.

By Anika Tabassum

Book review


He's been there since the dawn of time. Ageless and sleepless, he is inevitable; even kings cannot escape him. Wielding his fearsome scythe, he travels the world…on a white horse named Blinky. Hits you right between the eyes, doesn't it? That's Death for you, a la Terry Pratchett.

Mort is the fourth book in Pratchett's popular Discworld series, and this one focuses on Death, one of the regulars. The story features Mortimer, ('Mort' in short), a gangly, overly ponderous young man who becomes Death's apprentice. The pay's good, the lifestyle is comfortable, and the job offers many opportunities for travel and meeting different people, albeit very briefly. Just when Mort is getting the hang of things, though, he meets a beautiful princess who's destined to die, and the whole concept of 'occupational hazard' comes in. While Mort struggles with his feelings and his Duty (yep, that's a capital D), Death himself is looking for something that's missing in his life. To add even more spice to this twisted tale is Ysabell, Death's surly human (no, really!) daughter, whose favourite pastime is reading the tragic biographies of long dead ladies who were unlucky in love. What happens when their disparate lives collide? Read the book to find out!

Anyone who's followed my column regularly would know I cannot praise Pratchett enough. This man is zany, witty, and utterly outrageous. His take on Death would probably make John Donne turn in his grave, but the book itself is some three hundred pages of sheer hilarity, even for those who haven't read the other Discworld books. So if you're looking for a reason to smile, go grab a copy of Mort.

By Sabrina F Ahmad



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