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Bus rules

Public buses are great transports. It's cheap, you feel more independent, you get a little more street savvy [if you keep your eyes and ears open], your friends will think it's cool [unless they are real snobs, in which case you shouldn't really be friends with them], you don't have to battle for the family car and you have an answer for people who call you a lazy, spoiled brat. Plus, you'll definitely lose weight.

But there are some things that you have to know before you start taking the bus to coaching:
1. When getting on or off the bus, use your left foot first. It helps with the balance and inertia. Best if you wait for the bus to stop before taking the leap. Otherwise, you may find yourself with sprained ankles, torn jeans and a rather nasty scar.

2. Avoid local buses as much as possible. The seats are rubbish, but you'll have to be really lucky to be able to sit in one of them. They also tend to want to drop people off near the middle of the road. Be wary, because a CNG might just come up from behind.

3. Where there are a number of bus services to choose from, wait to see which bus arrives first before buying a ticket. Although the tickets are returnable, you might find yourself in a shouting match against a stubborn ticket seller who refuses to give you back your money [which is a waste of time]. So you might feel like a fool while other buses heading for your destination pass before your eyes, while you are just standing there with the ticket for a bus that seems to be taking it's time.

4. If you are unsure, you can ask about which bus to take to reach your destination at the counters.

5. When you get on the bus, the helper will tear the ticket. Keep the torn piece, because sometimes, checkers do get on the bus and paying a fine is one humiliation you really don't want to face.

6. This is pretty well known, but try not to pass near a bus window. Even if you don't get hit by intentional spit, you can get drenched in unintentional vomit.

Well, I'd say you are pretty much done with the theory of metro bus riding. All you need now is experience. Oh! One last thing. If you see a lady without a seat, don't hesitate to give yours up. It doesn't hurt to be chivalrous…much. Besides, it is much more fun standing. That's about it, I guess. Good luck joy riding.

By Kazim Ibn Sadique


Fresh fruit fights

Fights between parents are always seen as such morbid occurrences for a household. Those that I have read about and seen in movies have been surrounded by an awful heaviness in the air. In my household they happen to be somewhat amusing! What follows is a very typical 'fight' between my parents regarding a matter of remarkable significance; which breed of banana is better?

The battlefield: dining table
Dad: Why must you bring shobri kola? You know I do not like shobri kola, and yet you find that out in the market.

Mom: I didn't get it, the guests who came over today brought it.

Dad: You got them last time and they weren't sweet at all, fat bananas but not sweet.
Mom (to me): he wouldn't let it ripe and rushes to eat it and then complains it's not sweet.

Dad: Mother always brought shagor kola…they are the best.

Mom (exasperated): Yes yes they are…I intentionally get those other bananas to piss you off because I know you do not like them… happy??

Dad (surrendering laugh): Well now at least it's out in the open, well good.

Mom: yes

Me (timidly): well these ones are better…

Dad (taking one and biting into it, not being able resist some fruit after dinner): Hmm yes this is slightly better…improvement.

Brother: But the lychees they brought are awful…throw those away.

Dad: No no these ones are good, the last ones were awful.

Mom (to me): one is talking about lychees and the other about bananas

Me: so I notice.

Well the season of fruits brings much joy but as you can see its not quite true for our household. But then again when it leaves its even more complicated….

The same battlefied:
Dad: A bit of mango added to the dal makes it so much tastier. I have asked time and gain to make that recipe.

Mom (already in as unpleasant mood for some blunder than the made has done): Well the season has gone. All the mangos now are ripe and sweet… the dal would become inedible.

Dad: Well I've been telling you for years… and I'm quite sure the shops still have unripe mangos.

Mom: Well if you're so sure then why do you not get them?!? Why can't you take up some responsibilities for once?
(storms into bedroom and slams the door)

Dad(peeking in): Well alright…I guess there are more seasons how about then…?
Mom: Leave

And so these fruitful seasons come and go, adding a lot to the dinnertime conversations. Which years we consumed most mangos, the time when my parents used to climb trees to get lychees, why Noakhali mangos are eaten in the dark (apparently its because it has too much 'poka' or rotten spots!!) so on and so forth. My mother's recent claim is that this year's fruits won't be that sweet due to the rain that has come before the harvest and thus 'washed away the sweetness'.

I don't argue with her explanations and predictions they turn out to be uncannily correct. Her weather predictions are certainly better than BTV's (which somehow always happens to be the same: domka howa shoho guru guru brishtir shobhobona). But nonetheless try as I might with my A level physics I could not come to any logical explanation regarding the mango. Does the water seep in and dilute the sweetness…but wouldn't that inflate the mango? See what I mean… but then again there are so many things A level Physics does not cover. Maybe the answer lies in biology, soil and things. Yeah it's confusing but it doesn't make the fun of summer fruits any less so don't forget to catch freshest fruits of the season!

By Midnight Maiden


The cool, the crazy and the clueless

Wheel of light

We see led lights everywhere. So why not on a ferris wheel? The Pacific Ferris Wheel in Santa Monica is seeing a Pimp My Ride style upgrade boasting 160,000 LED lights. The 90-foot ride, manufactured by Chance Morgan Rides, delivers visual performances every night and cost the city $1.5 million. Thanks to solar panels that soak up energy during the day to power the wheel, those extravagant light shows have a minuscule carbon footprint.
When it was built in 1996, the Pacific Wheel was the only solar powered ferris wheel in the world. The old wheel was auctioned off on eBay for over $130,000 to an Oklahoma City real-estate developer.
Rated: Cool

Be the next James Cameron
Wouldn't it be cool to star in an action movie where you are seen to fight sharks with a hairdryer? Kids who think they can, can now film their wacky ideas using the green-screen technology that gave birth to Terminator 2. Except that tech cost millions. But kids today can have what we marveled at for a fraction of the price.
Available from Amazon for $129.99, the Rip Roar Creation Station is an awesome gift for creative child-Spielbergs.
It's easy to make yourself be part of the T2 movie now.
The Station includes full-rez camera with LED lighting, a mic, 2 green screens (two blankets I guess), integrated software, tripod and a bonus CD. The full editing suite allows the user to easily add-in and manipulate extra objects, pictures, sound f/x, and music.
Rated: Cool

Cool ice

If you feel that ice cubes in their cubic shape seem utterly boring, then here's a cure. An outfit called Aisin has a device for creating the perfect ice spheres hence not a cube. Simply place a chunk of ice into the metal press and, as it melts, the device will close around the ice forming a ball, which is then released by the flick of a switch. The Ice Mold, available in 55, 65, 70, and 80mm mold sizes, can make 30-40 ice balls an hour.
Rated: Crazy verging on cool

Shock you to health


This Diet Jar is designed to remove temptation from you for up to 24 hours. You choose how long you think you can go without a bit of chocolate. Set the timer and place your stash inside. If you try to open it before the timer runs out, it's a shocking.
At USD $42.00, the hassle of getting it flown all the way here should help reduce some weight. Of course, a simpler way would be to just not buy the chocolate.
You can find a similar device in Archies for under 200 taka sans the timer.
Rated: Clueless

Dancing speakers


You've got the ipod and the dance moves and now you need a set of speakers that go with your ipod and also, um, dance? Is that a combination that you cannot ignore? Whatever the case, movie merchandising brings you the dubious dancing speakers in the shape of the adorable Wall-E.
Called the iDance (from an outfit called Sharper Image), WALL-E MP3-playing robot is out timed with Disney-Pixar's new WALL-E flick.
At $25, the 8-inch trash-compacting robot dances and makes sounds when it's packed with a trio of AA batteries and nearby or plugged into an audio source. Pretty cute in a useless sort of way, don't you think?
The robot moves to the tune of any MP3 player via 3.5mm jack and gives a groovy light show with his eyes.
Rated: Crazy
By Sadia Islam


 

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