IT is the last thing you expect. Too busy burning the midnight oil, rifling through sheaves of notes, working your neurons to nothingness as you cram for your pick of exams, it is the last thing you expect. But it happens. Somewhere between your resolution to catch up on your favourite shows once you cross that milestone Last Day of Exam, and big-shot Hollywood producers sitting on their five-acre studios, your favourite TV shows get the axe. And you are left in the lurch.
This spring has been a bad season for TV show-faithfuls. Perhaps the recession, despite a new Leader of the Free World, is really making its presence felt in the hallowed halls of the TV networks that crank out your weekday-high. Here are some of the shows that are soaking in the blues.
One Tree Hill
There they go. With their hours of entertainment and hundreds of inside jokes, with their convoluted love triangles and secret liaisons and hopes and dreams, with all the things that you found yourself rejoicing at or shedding tears over. There they go. Perhaps you need to mourn. Perhaps you may feel inclined to stake out your favourite DVD store and stock up on all the seasons. Perhaps you might want to frame said DVDs up on your bedroom wall and bravely battle back tears, I don't know. But I feel your pain.
By Shehtaz Huq
A patchwork spare learning: Basic accounting blunders
WEEK in and week out, this little paper has been reviewing books that deal with fantasy, horror, post modernist China and Hilary Clinton, and myriad different other genres. But this is probably the first time that this reviewer has taken it upon himself to review something other than marvellous works of literary extravaganza. This week, it'll be a bit different. This week, it's a textbook review.
This week's book happens to be something every grade eight student has and hasn't touched in the last year or so. The only reason it is being perused now would be because the prudence concept seems quite prudent now. Knowing it at least.
In terms of story, the author has woven a riveting one. Flicking through the chapters one can almost see the obvious misery of the characters, the pain and cost of production, the loss in adverse net profits, the hatred of defaulting bad debtors and persecution of those filthy non-trading companies. You can almost feel one with the other readers, and that is the unique thing about this here book.
It is not the characters that make this book. No, in this case, the readers add to the story. The book changes in perspective with every reader, which this reviewer found an astounding achievement on the author's part.
For example, for this reviewer, the book represented countless lost hours trying to make the balances match, wondering if the suspense was coming from the suspense accounts and culminating in the mind-aching realization that a budget mishap was inevitable. For another reader, the book represented pure and simple hate. The reader confessed to us that he simply did not know what the big deal was with trial balances anyway. It's not like he was on trial or anything.
In terms of writing, the author unfortunately has failed. The reviewer could not for the life of him figure what he meant when he said, “goodwill is purchase price minus net asset taken over. Keep in mind long term liabilities are liable to be taken into account as well.”
The reviewer had to see a shrink after that. It was so mind-boggling. Of course some would argue that the author is writing beyond his time and even if he is not appreciated now, he will be in the near tax-induced future.
There are parallels that can be drawn from this book though. For one thing, one can truly understand why one's father almost balks every time the bank statement comes in the mail. And the author endeavours quite supremely to teach young kids the maxims of not borrowing so much that your liquidity goes haywire. This reviewer doesn't know what liquidity means but figures it has something to do with the intake of a lot of fluids at once.
Another achievement on the author's part is the setting. Most well known writers have confessed how the setting of the book is the most difficult thing to accomplish; this author on the other hand has nailed it.
The reader feels instantly depressed at the sight all those columns and numbers, and once you start reading the concepts that govern depreciation and whatnot, you feel that the world holds no joy. The reader can lose oneself in the myriad different ways a balance sheet can be screwed up to not match, and as you go deeper and deeper into the book, the feeling of never seeing the light of day again is so saturated into one's soul, that the book actually becomes the only companion in a hollow world. One can almost feel oneself going bald and becoming like those tetchy ledger-toting guys at the bank.
This reviewer got this book way back in grade eight when the pressure from parents and teacher alike forced him to take up more and more subjects. For those unwilling to read this book; boy, are you lucky. For those who already have this book. Sigh… This is definitely not a book to waste away idle time.
By Tareq Adnan
I tell myself that I won't come to you
You see, I want to be free
Needing you, wanting you
By Alaka Halder
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