Lovin' With Dr. Lovelove
The Love Doctor that makes Cupid cry for his mommy…to get his diaper changed.
I loved a girl very much and we were very intimate, but whenever I asked her out she always said she didn't love me. But the way she talked and behaved with me showed that she loved me, and she also cared for me very much. There were times when I used to get frustrated and got sick and tired of studying. At those times, she helped me out a lot. I could talk to her about anything except other girls because that made her jealous and mad at me. She used to make me jealous, too. Sometimes, she got pissed off and tried to avoid me but she could never do that for too long. She once told me that she loves me but after that she took back what she said. A few days ago, I became fed up with all this and demanded that she give me an answer. She told me that she'd never love me. After that, I told her to never call me again, since hanging out with her like this made me feel like a loser. Now, I feel very bad because there are other girls I can go out with, but it's her I truly love. Now, what should I do?
Ranger? What are you, Chuck Norris? You may want to be Chuck Norris, or even pretend you are, but you can't quite kick butt as well. Far from it. Incidentally, I met Chuck once when I was making my rounds in a Chicago hospital as a stand-in physician (yes, I am versatile like that). He had come in with a sore foot. “Too much kicking butt.” Those were his exact words. Even Chuck Norris hurts sometimes. Who'd have thought? Anyways, moving on, and I assure you this is not an unrelated tangent, we got to talking, having a drink after I had healed him perfectly (he wanted to show his immense gratitude towards the Doctor) and eventually moved on to his past relationships. He was then happily married (whoa, oxymoron!) with his second wife and recognising the immense potential in Me to have the best of solutions, he asked me for some advice. He said that even though it had been years since he'd left his first wife, he still thought about her a lot and felt this was an indirect act of betrayal against his wife. “Help me, Doctor, who else is grand enough to help a man who is almost as Grand as You?” He pleaded. Taking pity on the man who was deluded enough to think he was even close to My Grandness, I decided to help him. I told him: “Chuck, you have kicked many a butt in your lifetime. Why is your first wife any exception?” Being an idiot, he took me literally and went on over to his first wife's house and did just that. He was arrested subsequently on charges of “assault and battery” and “being a pompous Karate-fighting wannabe” but he told me it was worth it. It allowed him to relieve off of all his wasteful feelings. He even sent me a gift basket with cookies and a book about his personal brand of fighting, Chun Kuk Do. Now, I in no way want you to do the same. It's wrong, not to mention, not a fair fight. Women are too weak as it is and all the feminists would run up and start moaning about the alleged patriarchal society we live in. (So much for equal rights.) I want you to kick her memory's butt. I repeat this again and again: there's no better substitute for something than a prettier version of what you want to replace. If you are indeed telling the truth, then go out with these girls that are available (preferably with less severe symptoms of BAFD, last time I heard, it was quite intense in Dhaka after the release of New Moon) and eventually, two things will happen. You'll see how much better a relationship is with a prettier girl. Or, she'll get jealous again and come crawling back to you. Don't you love it when they crawl? Just wait it out, and you'll be as happy as a bunny in unrequited love can be.
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Disclaimer: The views expressed in this article are the writer's own. RS does not condone them.
By Dr. Lovelove
19th Anniversary issue: Plagiarism report
SO here's what happened. I grab today's copy of Rising Stars as I am heading off to work and decide to flip through its pages while my head boils in the traffic and the heat. I went through a few articles when a particular piece called 'The awesomeness that was Nikola Tesla' caught my eyes. Being a fan of Tesla (especially after watching 'The Prestige'), I read on.
By the time I finished the first 100 words or so, it hit me: Holy Orangutan Crap! I've read this before! The writer Hussain Elius had basically copied a piece from the popular website 'Badass of the Week', which was also incidentally about the awesomeness of Tesla (stunning co-incidence perhaps :P). The said article on Tesla was more than a year old. Please refer to this link:
You will notice the writer changed around a few words, but its more or less the same exact thing. Even a few parts are copied word for word. And since there is no reference given within the article, this is a screaming example of rather sloppy plagiarism. What makes this even more ironical is the fact this plagarised article has been published in today's special issue.
No form of plagiarism should be acceptable. I know its not always possible to verify every piece word to word, but a very basic verification process needs to be in place that will at least root out the most glaring examples of copied work. Perhaps a little googling?
Anyway, enough of me ranting. I hope Rising Stars takes appropriate action concerning this matter. And congratulations on the completion of 19 years!
From Rifat Faruq (May 13, 2010)
I should've known better, but I didn't. An article which appeared in Rising star on 13th April 09 titled The Awesomeness that was Nikola Tesla had entire lines taken out of a website which, simply, I found cool. Yes, I have plagiarised, and I know I shouldn't have. I did look into other pages, other references, but it was from there that I did copy specific lines. There is no excuse for that.
Again, I apologise.
Hussain M Elius
Rising Stars has a strict policy regarding plagiarism, and as such, HM Elius is no longer part of the team. We thank our readers for their vigilance in ensuring the quality of the publication, and urge them and our writers alike to retain their integrity when contributing write-ups.
The week in re(ar)view
Bad mango, bad!
Once upon a time a bad mango was one that allowed a worm to live inside its moist tasty juiciness. Now, a bad mango is one that tricks you into giving up your money and health. A fraud mango if you must. A mobile court consisting Bangladesh Standard and Testing Institution (BSTI) and Rapid Action Battalion (Rab) personnel destroyed 9.4 tons of chemically tainted mangoes worth Tk 7.5 lakh from five fruit-selling shops in the city's Karwan Bazar wholesale market on May 17.
The good: These mangoes ripe quickly.
The bad: So do you.
Water, water everywhere else
While we sit in the sweltering city often waterless, people elsewhere are cursing the water. Erosion by the rivers flowing through Kurigram and Netrakona districts has taken a serious turn as water levels increased making about 500 families homeless.
Local people said they dumped sandbags, bamboos and logs along the riverbank to check erosion, but their attempt went in vain due to strong current in the river. Water gushing out through the eroded portion of the embankment has damaged Irri-boro crops on around 40 acres of land in the area
Japan Garden City is a huge apartment complex housing many people, dogs, cats and mosquitoes. Recently a fore took the lives of 7 of a family. Turns out the safety equipment weren't either there, or very safe.
None of the 90 fire hoses inspected in 6 buildings were connected to water reservoirs. No pump and dedicated generator to draw water from the tanks. So that means those pipes are only good for tying people up when they won't listen. Emergency exits are 11 inches narrower than the width required by law. Extra large people will just have to brave the smoke, fire and damnation.
Fire doors made of wood instead of mandated fire-resistant materials. According to hartal science, wood burns best. That is exacerbated by date-expired fire extinguishers, non-functional fire alarms etc.
Dr Shahdeen Malik, a constitutional expert, human rights activist, and the director of BRAC University's Institute of Law, said the developers can be liable for criminal prosecution for criminal negligence. Especially considering residents knew about the failings and complained.
By Mood Dude and Someone
Letter from the Readers:
Firstly, I would like to tell you what a monumentally devoted fan of RS I am. Indeed, every morning, I make sure to read the Daily Star from cover to cover, and especially the "Rising Stars" tabloid on Thursdays. And my favourite part of the Rising Stars is, obviously, the comic strip series called "Babu" by Shahriar. Today's one was titled "The Lie Detector" but as I kept on reading, I was disappointed to find a spelling error. The comic uses the word "devise" instead of "device". Over the years I have spotted many mistakes, but I have always accepted that given the volume of text produced, a few errors were inevitable. But today, it just made feel downright bad. I am going to take this chance to also say that I often find other grammatical mistakes in the main paper. Mistakes like using "few" in place of "a few" and vice versa catch my eye much too often. I know you might be offended a bit but being a top-notch newspaper it is also your responsibility to ensure the grammatical correctness of your articles. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that the paper is filled with mistakes. Of course not, instead I really adore the RS articles for their vivid use of words. No other newspaper in Bangladesh can be compared to The Daily Star. I learn a lot of new words from the newspaper and must take my hat off to the entire team of Daily Star.
Thank you for your patience in reading this overlong message.
An Admiring Reader
From The RS Desk-
While the Rising Stars goes through a rigorous editing process, every now and then we do have overlooks. We sincerely regret the errors and apologise wholeheartedly about the matter.
Noirit Mustapha: I absolutely loved the article. If R.J. Dio could ever be described in just a few short words, you've done it properly. It shames me to know that, being an avid rocker myself, I got this news so late (a cut off Internet connection is just one side-effect of Edexcel Exams). Anyway, the rest of the issue good as well. Thanks to the writer of the article for thee heads up on Dio. R.I.P. God of Metal \m/
Mursalin Rahman: Osama Rahman, Chelsea won the title this season that's for sure. It's a great pleasure for the Chelsea fans. But I think Chelsea would have won that with a point difference of at least 10 with former champs ManU, because ManU this year has been a bird with its wings broken. If the silence is to be broken then this truth needs to be revealed also.
Yasif Hasan: The Rahmans do it all once again!! The Lady Rahman just whammed it with The Dio Tribute. And the Dude Rahman with his kick-in-the-nads-of-the-red-divas article. Music & Football! Perfect Combination. Missed Nano Tales though.
Jarifa Purna: This week's issue was great! Front cover was thought-provoking, Tareq's article was hilarious, and Musarrat did a wonderful job of centrefold.
Send all your love, hate, advice, suggestions and nano tales to firstname.lastname@example.org