Lovin' With Dr. Lovelove
The Love Doctor that makes Cupid cry for his mommy…to get his diaper changed.
First thing's first, since you like being appreciated and complimented so much, I got some things to say to you. I love your sarcastic humour, and the parts where you boast about yourself simply crack me up. You sure got some superiority complex, if I may say! (Obama is your chamcha? I believe you, all right!)
Anyway, my question to the oh-so awesome Dr. Lovelove is what do you do with people who go around being hypocrites, backbiting and stuff like that? Yeah yeah, the normal thing to do would be to ignore them, but how about some advice that has some way of delivering vengeance? *smiles sweetly*
Thank you for the kind words. But there was no need, I already knew that. And yes, Obama has been working for me since I helped him make president of the Harvard Law Review. As for revenge, I like the way you think. It's pretty easy to get back at hypocrites. I believe in the eye for an eye approach to this one. Even the higher-ups have given approval on this one (Not higher than me, of course.) Basically, you backbite as well. But you can't do it with just anybody. If you bitch about him/her to someone close to them, they're just going to ask him/her about it and the matter will be cleared and you'll look like the bad guy. No, what you do is simple: firstly, make up embarrassing and potentially judgment-worthy stuff about said person. And then, dole out this information by the loads to people they come in regular contact with but who aren't friends. This provides a perfect environment for vengeance, as they'll believe you, but they, as they're not close enough to the hypocrite to omit any doubts, won't be able to tell them what you've told them. You'll get a hypocrite who's being socially tarnished, people who are blatantly but quietly judging said hypocrite, and a happy you.
Don't you love how my solutions work out perfectly?
hey doc!! ok nw i gt sum major issues. there is this friend of mine whom i really like. well i guess i have kind fallen for him. bt the prb is he is one of those studious types.........according to him dating is nt his thng. he also has a huge thing for me which he recently confessed. he says that he luvs me a lot bt sumhw he feels he cn nevr live up to be d persn i xpct him to be. he is nt reali comfortable wid the idea of datin me although he is truly in luv wid me. i tried to sort out thngs wid him, cum on!! i cudn obviously let go of the person i luv so mch dat easily!!! i sed dat i ws ready to mk all necessary compromises for him bt he says he is qiute sure abt his dcision n feels sry dat he hs hurt me so mch. he appologizd to me for evrythng n sed dat his feelingz for me r genuine bt he jst cnt help it. nw i dunno wat to do. i reali luv him beyond evrythng and cnt afford to loose him. i do realise he loves me a lot bt i also want a certain ryt ovr him. i dnt wannna let go of him. cn u plz help me out???????
You know how writing in netspeak is cool? Yeah, me neither. Maybe in the nineties. I've dealt with this problem too many times, you've read my column too many times and you've sucked too many times to not know the solution to this problem. But I don't want to waste RS space, so here goes: Blah blah blah blah blah, blah blah's, blah blah blah, blah idiot blah stupid blah blah bloo blee bloody blah blah mentally challenged bloop. Darn it, I tried sounding more handicapped than you. I failed. Apologies.
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Disclaimer: Rising Stars does not necessarily condone the views expressed in this article.
By Dr. Lovelove.
The week in re(ar)view
No leniency on leaning
Following death, devastation and more death, RAJUK is going Rambo on all buildings that lean towards undesirable directions. Bashundhara is on the list to have part of its shopping mall demolished not because it is leaning, but because it is too tall (85.5-metre high against the approved 79 metres). Somebody at Bashundhara probably thought the sky was the limit. Turns out the limit is only 79 meters.
RAJUK has asked Bashundhara Group to pull down 53 illegally constructed buildings. 40 of these are owned by East West Property Development Limited at Bashundhara Residential Area in the capital.
Vote for buttons
E-voting is as easy as pushing some buttons since that's precisely what it is. For the first time in the country's history, the Election Commission used 79 EVM at 14 polling centres at Jamal Khan (Ward-21) during Chittagong City Corporation election. Turns out people have adapted to this technology very quickly. Now if only everything else was done using buttons.
A bright idea
A total of 55 lakh bulbs were distributed among the consumers in selected areas of 27 districts including Dhaka till last week. As per the government decision, a family will get four energy saving bulbs free of cost. But the family has to show the paid copy of the last electricity bill. For once, the government came up with a bright idea.
A not so bright idea
Communications Minister Syed Abdul Hossain told the House that government is to run electric trains between Dhaka and Chittagong. So far, it's been sent to planning commission for approval and collecting foreign assistance (also known as money). Normally, our trains stop frequently because someone wants to get off, someone stole the tracks or someone wants to get off to steal the tracks. And now we want to run electric trains in a country where people can't watch TV three times a day from lack of electricity.
Get that school
Purba Sheorapara Haji Ashraf Ali Junior High School at Kafrul in Dhaka was the central point of an all out battle between two groups who wanted control of it. We wish it was between aliens and those predators from that movie about predators and aliens that we can't remember. But real life disappoints. The clash was between supporters of Awami League lawmaker Kamal Ahmed Majumder, and local ward councillor Abdul Kader of the city corporation.
Apparently, Abdul Kader said he established the school in 1997 on his land. According to him, on January this year, ruling party lawmaker appointed another headmaster and took over. What are the kids going to learn at this school? More importantly what are they being taught?
Football is the root of all evil
Students are known to get worked up over injustice and start a revolution. But this is not such a story. Bangladesh University of Engineering and Technology (BUET) students last week fought over NOT attending classes because they wanted to watch football. Education is an injustice when it interferes with sports.
Apparently, some junior students prevented others from attending classes. Seniors who preferred watching the opposite gender instead of men in shorts running after a ball objected. And a fight broke out. There is still no news of how many 'You mama is so fat' jokes were uttered before the altercation.
By Mood Dude & Someone
Word on our last issue:
Umama Akhtar Turna: Kidstars was a nice addition. Miss Trophy 2010 was cool. Liked the "Wavin' Flag" photos too. Why weren't there any reviews on the WC matches? Anyway, the Doc should have considered more before choosing France for his team!
Redwan Hossain: A nice issue overall. The cover was a good read, although it sometimes bored me with too much detail on US lifestyle, which I don't get. The Doc was hilarious, finally something other than those stupid letters, although you still "french" for choosing such a lousy team like France. Eshpelin's one was funny but not as much funny as the Docs' one In some places it seemed gross, which killed some of the fun. Moving along to the kidstars, Sanjana's one lacked interest as she didn't mention about her past. Ahnaf's one was better...cheers
Shams Quader: A brilliant issue overall this time out. But if I had to pick one, it would be the Miss Trophy 2010 article. . .good job!
Zahra Mayeesha: A 'GOOOOOOOD issue. The Miss Trophy 2010 was okay, but I really appreciate the attempt at something different. It was refreshing. I loved other places, other faces by SH. Eshpelin Mishtak's article was funny. But if I were to rate this issue on the whole, I give it a 4 1/2 out of.... 10.
missed Rasul. But I'll live.
Zareen Raushan: Loved Shehtaz's article and the piece of Eshpelin were hilarious. Keep up the good work
Raiyan Rafiq: The issue was good but some points were boring. "Other places, other faces" by Shehtaz was pretty eye catching and was fun to read, "Miss trophy 2010" was probably the BEST article in the Rising Star this week! The one by Shaer Duita Fish Reaz was okay. The rest did not appear to be "that" good but was okay. Hope to see more articles on the World Cup next week
Urshia Rahman: Shehtaz's one was excellent, I loved the trophy thing and Dr. Lovelove wasn't actually funny at some places. Eshpelin's article was sickening but hilarious, so not a bad issue. Missed Osama and Kokoro though
Mir Piash: Nayeem missed the Copa America trophy
El Kun: Good cover and back page and Miss Trophy, but plenty of complaints. Where was Babu?
It's great that you have new recruits but doesn't mean my absolute favourites Osama and Kokoro chan don't write anything. How come there were no reviews on the WC matches that had already occurred? On the bright side, Lovelove was back. Cheers.
For the World Cup fans looking for a change of scene where they can scream their hearts out, Pizza Corner Banani has set up a projector screen. Also, you can get pizzas.
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