Home   |  Issues  |  The Daily Star Home | Wednesday, April 06, 2011




2D Heat

By Professor Spork

Women's Day is long gone, but in light of it we realised it was about time our female fans received a treat. Enough of the Miss Calamars and Amazonian Bimbos. We need more muscle and less bad makeup on these pages. So sit back, ladies, enjoy, and keep a fire extinguisher close at hand. Today the girls of RS are bringing you their own version of… 2D Heat.

Zuko Battle-scars have been in since the days of old, especially when they fit the personality so seamlessly. There's just something about the words 'exiled' and 'prince' used in the same sentence that manages to catch your attention. Put that together with the fact that he can shoot fire out of half his body and you have one of hottest characters Nickelodeon has ever produced. Literally. Zuko from Avatar: The Last Airbender is also (unintentionally and unwittingly) an excellent boyfriend and an absolute sweetheart.

Aqualad We actually mean the Teen Titans version of Aqualad, not his original comic book form. The guy got Raven to see hearts, for heaven's sake! The long, flowing, black hair, the dark, dark eyes, the tight, tight abs (in conjunction with fashionable latex); it all creates a recipe for underwater flamethrowers. And he can talk to dolphins! Cute, no?

Terry McGinnis AKA Batman of the Future. While being Batman scores the biggest point, the tapered waist, cleft chin and tousled look definitely don't hurt. Neither does owning the coolest superhero outfit to date. Unfortunately, despite his bad-boy attitude his mother has him on a rather short leash. But then, he is just a teenager. Who is also Batman.

Robin Once again, picture Teen Titans Robin (Dick Grayson). He was in the circus, became Batman's sidekick, made his own league of superheroes, grew into the overly good-looking Nightwing, and finally took on Batman's title, apparently permanently. His points are scored via his shiny utility belt, the R-Cycle, and his big head, which makes for a very cute picture. As he grows older, the points evolve, now scored by his pretty hair, tasteful use of latex, mysteriousness, and general Batman-like behaviour.

Avalanche Feel free to imagine Lance from X-Men: Evolution in place of the metal-head in the comics. But don't forget the hot Greek accent from the paper version of X-Men. As his name hints, he can use seismic waves to disintegrate stuff. Way cool. Avalanche often displays classic examples of male stupidity and brings his entire species into perspective. Gotta give him points for that.

Gambit We all love a man with an accent. Especially if it's French. So he's actually from Louisiana and has a Cajun French accent, but hey, details, details. With his quick hands, rugged looks, charming personality and heartbreaking past, Gambit from X-Men makes for one smokin' thief. Not only is he smart and can make things explode, he even has an evil counterpart in the form of the most dangerous Apocalypse Horseman, Death. Oh, and the tragedy of being a reluctant evildoer who pines for a love he can't reach. On cue, ladies: swoon.

Wolverine Did you know he's Canadian? With adamantium-infused bone-claws. Who never dies. And has a dark, obscure past of being experimented on by the government. In addition to what we already know about this hunk, he's a martial arts master and knows 17 languages. Yeah, he had a looooot of time on his hands. Talk about ageing gracefully. He even fought the Hulk. The only problem with Wolverine is that he had a relationship with one 'Squirrel Girl'. Ugh. Why?

Batman Due to the limitations presented by a word limit, Batman and Bruce Wayne could not be entered separately. The tale of Batman's creation is at once hilarious and horrifying. This author would suggest you look it up just for the heck of it. So Batman has the most awesome ride in superhero history (or any history for that matter) a utility belt containing everything you can think of, too many love interests to keep track of, and the deep grating voice you only hear when a guy catches cold. He also doesn't wear red underwear over blue tights. Win. What's not to like about Bruce Wayne? He's a rich, handsome, charming, genius playboy with a dark, enigmatic, crime-fighting alter-ego. He's Batman. 'Nuff said.


By Musarrat Rahman

It begins with an alien planet facing apocalypse. It's being destroyed and two blue alien parents put their little blue baby in a UFO to protect him from impending doom (ala Superman). So the space-pod is on its way to Earth and they show another baby in a pod both plummeting towards earth. One falls into a mansion, and the other into a prison. The two babies are set on the track to fulfil good vs. evil stereotype with one baby growing up to be the superhero Metro Man (Brad Pitt) and the other baby growing up to be super-villian Megamind (Will Ferrell).

So, like every other super-villain Megamind lives to thwart Metro Man's goodness and one of his plans actually work resulting in the supposed death of his nemesis. After getting everything he's ever wanted, he becomes lost for what to do so he decides to make his own superhero Tighten (Jonah Hill) all the while courting ladylove hotshot T.V. reporter Roxanna Ritchie (Tina Fey) under the disguise of a museum curator helping her out in catching Megamind. What's the twist (other than the age old lying to get a girl scheme)? Tighten is Roxanne's cameraman and he is also in love with her. Love Triangle!

So you're probably thinking, another Will Ferrell movie? Must be filled with boy humour, fart jokes, slapstick comedy and silly antics, well you are sort of right, but this time he does it in a funnier way. Will Ferrell's voice suits the super villain and he plays his self-inflated yet dorky character very well. The slapstick humour is also done pretty well, but the overall voice acting from the entire cast is what pulls this movie together. The effects and the animation are also goods points in the movie, check out the end battle scene and you will be impressed!

With a star studded cast of top comedic acts like Will Ferrell, Tina Fey, Jonah Hill, David Cross and good looking Brad Pitt (although his hotness is lost in the animations) this movie will keep you giggling from start to finish and is a great movie to watch during family movie nights. It's even better in 3D!
The plot may seem a little familiar what with super-villian with a heart of gold POV movies that seem to be the boom these days, but Megamind really is one worth watching for animation fans out there.

Assassin's Creed:

By Shaer Duita Phish Reaz

With the end of March almost here, the good games are starting to make a return. Crysis 2, NFS Shift Unleashed, Assassin's Creed Brotherhood, these games are leading the charge for good gaming in 2011.

The original Assassin's Creed was a good game with an incredibly large number of glitches and nags. The camera angles were too jerky and annoying, the movement controls left a lot to be desired and the musical score was almost non-existent. The depressing setting of Jerusalem during the early years of the crusades didn't help much either. The storyline really shined though, and it prompted gamers to return for Assassin's Creed 2, which followed the story of Ezio Auditore in renaissance Italy and ironed out almost all the glitches.

In Brotherhood, the third instalment, the story of Ezio the master assassin continues. For the complete newbies to the series, the storyline will all seem jumbled up. The whole story revolves around the fight between two groups originating from the dawn of religion: the Templars and the Assassins. In the game, the modern day iteration of the Templars is a firm called Abstergo Industries (evil corporate giant, of course), while the Assassins compose of a rag tag band of rebels and spies. The main character is Desmond, a descendant of assassin Ezio Auditore, who is capable of reliving the memories of his ancestor through an Avatar type machine called the Animus. Throughout the three games you play back your ancestors memories, in the first game as Altaair and as Ezio in the second and third. Confused? Play Brotherhood and the opening sequence pretty much sums the whole thing up.

While quite a lot of things have been changed for Brotherhood, the game still feels like Assassin's Creed 2. The graphics stay almost exactly the same, with slight tweaks in how shadows and water are rendered. The gameplay largely stays the same, except for a slight bump in the number of moves available in hand to hand combat. The weapons systems get a few new combinations, like combining a sword in one hand with an ancient version of a gun in the other. You also get to ride horses inside big cities instead of leaving them at the gates like before.

The storyline progression gets quite a big revamp however, instead of the continuous sword bashing and free running in the previous games, Brotherhood goes like a classic roller coaster ride: pulls you slowly to the top, and then lets you come down at an insane pace, screaming and kicking along the way. Case in point: the first level has you lifting and carrying boxes of flowers for a lady, fetching an engineer to fix a canon, and right after the cut scene (one you might want to skip due to a “Mature” rating for the game) you're thrown headfirst into a siege on your city.

This happens throughout the game, with periodic lengths of peace and quiet followed by intense action.

The environments are as beautiful as in the second game-while nothing can beat the beauty of a digitally rendered Renaissance Venice, post-Renaissance Rome serves well enough. It also provides plenty of side missions, like renovating the seedier parts of Rome and rescuing certain sections of major cities from the hands of the evil Templar family of Borgia. The database in the game also provides historical data on each and every noteworthy location, something you'll love if you love history lessons like me.

One point worth mentioning is the more involving gameplay outside the Animus. Unlike previous games, you can exit the Animus at your own will and run around modern environments just like Ezio would back in his time. You also get a healthy dish of side missions outside the Animus too, if you happen to get too bored with historical settings.

Good overall game, just lacking in a bit of originality this time around - one sequel worth checking out.

Gameplay: 8/10
Graphics: 8.5/10
Storyline: 8.5/10
Overall: 8.5/10


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