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You never realise what you have until it's gone. Worse still, when it's there sitting right in front of you but you have no use for it at that particular moment. You've moved on when you just wish you could move back.

In your years of childhood, you've experienced a multitude of things and been exposed to a riveting variety of cultures. Your companion throughout the journey was one you never realised. He helped you in tests, during art classes or just randomly when you were playing games. He's tall and sleek, dressed in varying shades. Sometimes he would don a cool, grey suit and other times a vibrant yellow.

Just in case you haven't caught on yet, we're talking about the 2B pencil. Why the 2B pencil of all pencils? The answer is simple, after much deliberation and thought the entire team of RS has concluded that it is thus far the best pencil to have ever been created.

So this is in loving memory.

For many of you, the use of the 2B pencil isn't completely over yet. For many of you, it's a short-lived guilty pleasure you indulge in at times. For others, you've reached the point where you say 'What is a pencil?' Through this we hope to remind you again of the joys of the 2B.

First, I assume, I should divulge in why it is the best. Think back to Goldilocks and her quest to find the 'just right' everything. If she found pencils in the Bear residence it would have gone something like this. She picks up the HB pencil that is Papa Bear's. She scribbles with it a bit and exclaims 'It's too hard, and light.' She moves on to Mama Bear's B pencil. It reminds her of a crayon. She refuses to use it because it's too soft and the writing becomes too dark. Finally she picks up Baby Bear's pencil. Obviously, in accordance to the story, Baby Bear's is just right. She looks at what sort of pencil it is: it's a 2B.

I never understood when I was young, why my teachers insisted we use 2B pencil. And as is the cruel humour of life, when I did learn to appreciate its perfection, I had little to no use for it. 2B pencils are perfect for everything. It's the right pencil to have during tests because it's more durable than most pencils and the nib breaks rarely. It's statistically ranked one of the best pencils to use for sketching. Plus, when you sharpen it, unlike the HB pencil which would become really sharp and long and then break off making your writing scratchy and weird, the 2B pencil always had a slightly rounded tip for writing perfection.

So, here's to the 2B pencil. If Hamlet was set in an era where 2B pencils were abundant, his opening dialogue would have been different. It would have just been 2B; not 2B is out of the question.

By Selima Kabir


Search for SAT

Our dauntless and intrepid hero - the one of whom only this legend speaks of - was quite merry the day before his herculean task was destined. Ye, who hear this tale of woe, beware for the fate of him may befall any travellers of his path - for this is the adventure of the SAT - where many dare to tread and are smitten by Sophia - the goddess of wisdom and what not.

The tale begins thirty and one days before the task. Our hero scours the dungeons and dark alleyways of the land of Nilkhet and brings back to his castle the tome of the Baron. A little daunted by the sheer magnitude of the content, he sets himself to learn the secret lore contained therewith.

Thus he went through the pages of words and very soon his head was full of high-prospect and high frequency spells. He knew the enchantments and the cunning required of him to face the mighty hurdles that lay ahead. And due to pages forgotten in this much disregarded and ignored tale, we really have to skip ahead.

On the day of the bleeding sun when the pierce sirens shall wake up the dauntless, it was destined that the hero would face the most important test of his life. Armed with his legendary 2B pencil and eraser his father had given him, our hero set forth.

But what is this he sees? The test has started but the keepers of the silence and discipline are chatting away. How can he set his mind to the task at hand when two annoying ladies are right beside him talking of the affairs of their castles? And what of the maiden beside him with fair hair who keeps trying to look at him (or so he thinks)? Amid these wondrous musings the 'bell tolls for thee' and he realises he has only time to guess of the remaining task at hand.

In the middle of the exam the maiden spoken of before realises the task is one too daunting for her and faints (or just get's up and leaves - same story). This baffles our hero and he sits for some minutes wondering if 'tis all in vain. And by the time he snaps out of it - alas. The errant mind of our hero drifts off to places unknown and like the son of the filthy dragon, time creeps away.

Of the four hours, two are over, and the hero is hungry. Why in hell did he not bring his meals! He eyes the other knights and maidens gorging on their waybread and he unconsciously licks his lips. He asks a maiden for half her sandwich, but her look of incredulity baffles him. Thus insulted, humiliated and, above all, hungry, the hero tries to put his mind to the exam at hand. But the rumblings deep within his belly and the knight behind constantly asking stupid questions are just challenges too large for him to overcome. And then he faces his nemesis. He was foretold of this and he was warned not to spend too long on it, but aye, our hero realises too late he has spent half his time fixating on one head of the metaphorical Hydra.

And by the end of his task he is sure he will have to face the challenge soon again. But a little wiser now, he reminds himself to stock up on food the next time he tries and not to dream up tales of himself in the third person.

By Moyukh


You are not awesome

Awesome. This issue needs to be addressed as soon as possible. Everyone is awesome these days. Even the most ridiculous of people, who have no friends, are awesome. Obviously, something very wrong is going on in the world. Awesome is definitely not a substitute for being an idiot. Allow me to take the liberty of informing you cretins how you are NOT awesome, at all.

The very first sign that you are not awesome is the tendency to describe yourself as awesome. Firstly, such a description reeks of the idea that you do not have your own style. In fact, you have to lean on fictional characters from TV to gather a style for yourself. It's a pity and you are pitiful. Unless you can come up with your own style of being yourself, you can never be awesome.

 
  That's Lady Ga-Ga with her new look

Facebook statuses about you are also NOT awesome. If anyone thinks they can talk about where they are, what they are eating or what they are thinking; they cannot be awesome. Of course one may say 'But it's my status, I can put in whatever I want.' The fact is, you can't. No one cares about the delicious sandwich you made (which, in all honesty, looks like something from the garbage can and probably tastes like it, too). In fact, no one cares about you as you are only a pretentious brat who thinks he is all grown up because he takes pictures of himself doing grown-up things.

Ending arguments by saying “nuff said” makes you even less awesome. The fact that you have an argument that even the English language cannot sustain is a hint that your opinion is flawed. And stupid. What do you mean by enough said? What if someone disagrees and finds gaping holes in each and every argument you have made? What if you aren't even making an argument but just want to use the term to sound cool? “Black Swan is the best movie. Nuff said.” Does that mean Black Swan is the best movie? No. Do you sound clever? No. Are you an idiot? Yes.

Finally, there is a common thing that has been going around for a while now. People act all heartless and arrogant and actually believe it makes them cool. Unfortunately, that is usually not the case. If you are a no-talent, plain-looking, scrawny little midget, you can never, ever be cool. If no one likes you and if you repulse people you cannot be cool. You just cannot. A better understanding of grammar or the fact that your blog has a viewer (not reader), makes you an authority on absolutely nothing. Lose the attitude.

Two people have attained a level of being awesome. Both are fictional. None of them are you. Stop using such great terms so loosely so as to completely destroy their meaning. Leave it to these banger boys and girls to make everything tacky.

By Osama Rahman

 

 

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