So you tracked down that someone (cough*stalked*cough) in Facebook and expect to see them as soon as you log in? Maybe this time they will even answer back when you knock. But what's this? Your newsfeed is flooded with pictures of shoes, cars and polls on whether cheese is better than milk and what not. These recent trends range from stupid to just plain creepy and though a few trends did make you laugh, most of these make you wish you were Dexter.
The rose by any other name
Who wants that boring old name your parents gave you when you can just change in to something as awesome as Departed insert_first_name_here? I mean come on why would you want to be called Rafid or Kalam when you can be 'Th3 Sueper Aw3Some King Metal Head'?
Wohhoo! Lookie here, I got a camera!
You bought a new shoe? Take pictures and tag everyone you know. Bought a new dress? Picture, upload and tag. Got a bathroom? Take a picture of yourself in the mirror. Saw a tiktiki you though looked like Salma Hayek? Take a picture and tag away. The excitement of having a new baby is understandable - and uploading said baby's pictures is only natural - but if every picture differs from the other by one degree tilt of the camera, then it's just plain stupid. And annoying.
Because answering question in the exam hall isn't enough
The new trend on the block - vote if you would rather buy a car or a rickshaw, like to go to Hatirpool or Mouchak and anything that can in any way be turned in a question. No one wants to know if you would rather spend your time in class, shopping or making origami. And besides, every time us Bangladeshis vote, we clearly end up screwing ourselves. So what's the point?
Of course Facebook knows what Harry Potter character I am
Then there are those who think Facebook is a genius. It knows everything from what kind of vegetable oil they are to how many years they'll live. And with privileged information like that, what better thing to do than hit share.
She likes me, she likes me not
Had a fight? Change relationship status. She said sorry? Change it back, of course. She uploaded a picture with you not in it? Go ahead change that damn thing. You being the center of the world and all, we love to hear all about it.
“Scooby Doo where are you?” “Over here!” - with Shaggy in the haunted house
Ah, the check in! A way to let people know the context of a status. Good old technology - until someone starts to use it to post statuses every five minutes. Need to use the toilet? Post the address as a status. Cause nothing is more interesting to us than the time and place of your bowel movements.
Privacy is a right. Use it.
By The Mad Monkey
Bend It Like These Folks
This woman walks out of a shopping mall after a nice day of retail therapy. She's just going to walk past this tree… just going to walk past this tree, EXCEPT- she gets attacked by a squirrel! After fending off the furball and recovering from the trauma, this wise lady did the only logical thing to do after a squirrel attack - she went and sued the shopping mall
“Well, it's their fault for not informing me that there were squirrels around here. Hmph!”
Another wacko, (who was also a former MI6 agent) decided to write a book about his James Bond-esque exploits. Only the government got all snooty about it and decided that they didn't want us to know about their top-secret freeze ray guns (but we know they have them anyways). So they banned the book from being sold. That made retailers very grumpy people indeed, because they'd already paid so much money to the publishers.
To cover their costs after the government's book ban, one smart shopkeeper started selling candy - and giving the book away free with every purchase. Sweet!
And then there was this other guy whose company was going bankrupt. He had the majority of shares in the business, so he resigned. And then sued his own company to protect his stake! In the end, he won. I mean, he won. I mean… well, either way, he ended up a very rich old guy.
This other time, one poor man was getting regular visits from a not-so-wanted visitor. Pulling a Wile. E. Coyote, he decided to make a DIY thief trap, and installed a faulty ladder outside his house. Now, unlike in The Roadrunner Show, this actually worked, and he fell for it (excuse the pun). The thief went down and broke his crown, and the man got cramps from laughter.
But before he could point at the thief and say, 'ha ha!' he was in court. Smart man, that petty thief had charged him with attempted murder. Makes us wonder why someone with brains like that would be going around thieving and falling off ladders in the first place.
And now, something from this great land of ours. Just before the War broke out, Maulana Bhashani was due to speak at this huge jonoshobha. Minutes before he went up in front of the crowd, he was told that the Pakistani government back then had just made it illegal for a meeting to have so many people together in one place.
“But who said anything about a meeting? We are gathered here today for a munazat, right?” And so, everyone put their hands up to the heavens for a munazat unlike any other before!
Some Weird Ice Creation
Walking down Dhanmondi Road 27, around the time kids escape from the confines of school for the day, you might notice a brightly coloured stall near the Oxford school. You might not have noticed it till now, and so it falls to us at RS to make you notice it. Its orange painted sign will inform you that this stall is called “Gola House”.
Now, what exactly is a “Gola”? Well, it's some sort of Indian concoction that has found its way to our shores, and well, it's shaved ice. It's ice that is then shaped into a popsicle-ish thing in a plastic cup and then they dump different syrups on it and send you on your merry way. It's kind of like watching a mad scientist at work. They have a bunch of flavours and they mix to form a chimerical creation which to be quite honest, isn't all that bad. The flavours include lemon, orange, banana, vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, regular sugar syrup and for some strange reason, rosewater. No, I didn't actually have the guts to try rosewater flavoured ice.
Well, it takes guts to eat this anyway. I mean, it doesn't look all that appetising. Nor does it sound it. Ice, strange coloured fluids dumped on it. But take it from me, a person who actually dragged someone else along to make them eat it, it's not that bad. A bit overwhelming with the taste of banana (especially if you don't like banana, but you know, you can tell them to not use it), but strangely enough I kind of liked it. And it was only 30 bucks.
Since I found these guys, more of these “Gola Houses” have been mushrooming up. Just the roads adjoining Shaat Masjid Road have three now (including the Road 27 one), with the other two on Roads 11/A and 7/A. There's one in Bailey Road and one in Mirpur. So, next time you want something cold and have very little money, go get this. Don't be put off by looks, just close your eyes and eat it. And perhaps then you can answer the lingering question in my mind about why it's called a “gola”.