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PLANET RS

We went a little nuts with the layout this week. It's a new year and we want to spend the whole time trying something new. So don't get used to the status quo. If the past year has taught us anything, it's that the status quo is a myth. Everything changes.

Following up last week's national highlights of 2011, we bring you the major international happenings across the past year. But we also look forward more than anything else. Our main story is about adventurers in search of the first sun of 2012. And we follow that up with something about a new addition in a family; a baby and it's hysterical consequences.

~ Ehsanur Raza Ronny Editor, RS


The Greatest Defected Developments

By Sifana Sohail

All of the biggest technological inventions created by man - the airplane, the automobile, the computer - says little about his intelligence, but speaks volumes about his laziness. - Mark Kennedy

The things people invented centuries ago are still affecting our lives today. People talk about the greatest inventors, and their inventions, all the time. But, are the greatest, most important invention of mankind really all that… great? Wouldn't life be better if they'd never been invented?

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Wheel

Without the wheel, we'd have an excuse to be lazy. Or we could ride horses to work. We could skip school, not because we were sick, but because our horses were. And if wheels were never invented then the maglev train would probably come to Bangladesh a lot sooner and we'd be zooming all over the place.


Light bulbs

Following Aristotle: No light bulbs would mean less light in the day [24 hours]. Light in the day would mean studying is possible. So, no light bulbs would mean that less studying is possible. And our parents would be too tired of the, “light nai, dekhte pachchi na!” to put up with it for long. Also, if there were no light bulbs, people would be forced to use candles or lanterns… meaning we'd have a better excuse to play with fire. Besides, shadow puppets are an amazing art form.


Computer

Despite what the parents of RS readers' generation say, the computer was actually a pretty good invention. Not only can the teachers assign us extremely complicated calculus problems with cosine and sine because the calculator can do the easy (calculating) part; now we actually have to learn to USE our brains. No more easy memorising for students; they actually have to know how to apply their knowledge. And of course, without the computer, we'd never have the evils of the internet. Speaking of which…


Automobiles

 

Two words: Fat People. Ever since the invention of cars, people have stopped walking to places. I'm guessing that's part (or most) of the reason Americans are bloating up like puffer fish. 4,114 road accidents happened in Bangladesh in 2003; I bet there weren't that many road accidents in the 18th century. And the price of freedom has definitely risen since the invention of cars - traffic fines, parking fines, speeding fines… the list goes on and on. Also, Global Warming.

 


Camera

They probably do steal our souls. They definitely turn our most embarrassing moments and less than flattering expressions immortal. Cameras are a stalker's best friend and a criminal's worst enemy. Gone are the days when you could rely only on witnesses to testify whether you were actually home or not on that fateful night. And ever since cameras became widespread, people have been using them to fake or remove evidence - evidence of fairies, the Loch Ness Monster, ex-Stalin supporters, body fat etc.



The World Wide Web

An amazing invention, right? Well, Tim Berners-Lee at CERN clearly didn't see the dangers of unleashing the web on the future generation. Then again, it would have been hard to foresee the widespread popularity of (and ensuing hilarity caused by) Rebecca Black and Justin Bieber. Tim probably never thought that the web would be used to make stalking people, ruining their privacy, stealing their money, pretending to be someone else and publicly humiliating them that much easier. Or make some people famous just because some creep watched their videos and thought their voice sounded awesome. The poor guy probably didn't think that his invention would be used as a seafood market to make prawn more widely available… well, maybe he did.

Money…
'Is the root of all evil.' - Common misquote. 'Nuff said.

Plumbing
No drawbacks. This was truly a great invention. And that's all folks.


Telephone (Mobile phone included)

Not only do the microwaves slowly kill your brain cells by frying them, but the tiny keyboards can give you RSI from typing too much. It's bad enough that you no longer have an excuse for dropping off the face of the earth whenever you go out of the house; but no, sometimes idiots will call you, and ask if your refrigerator is running and quickly hang up giggling. Or else you'll be roused in the dead of the night by some insomniac demanding you entertain them.


Snippets from our emails, Facebook wars and cubicle debates. If you have something to rant about, mail us at ds.risingstars@gmail.com or go shout it out on Facebook at
www.faceboook.com/DSRisingstars.

Sparkling Diamonds (via e-mail)
Thursdays are my favorite day of the week.This is mainly for two reasons. a) because it's the last weekday and b) because Rising Stars only comes on Thursdays! I love RS! Anyways, this week's issue was really good. I especially loved page 3- the "Bangladesh:Year 40" article!

Katha Sanyat
Loved the gadgets list but you really need to get you act together if you think amazon kindles rule.

We have no witty, sarcastic, reply to this yet. ~ RS

Adib Raihan (via email)
What? No GTA V in the game review? No mention whatsoever? It's one of the most anticipated way most of us can let our inner demon out safely. Shame.

At this very moment we are going to hang our writer for this glaring omission. Hopefully before we have to pay him.
~ RS

 

 

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