Bengali newspapers have come up with quite a catchy way of describing the Arab Spring: 'Shey agun choriye gelo shobkhane'. Yes, internet phenomena spread like wildfire as well, but they all bow their heads before one legendary composition - *drumroll* "Why this Kolaveri Di?" This brainchild of Tamil actor/singer Dhanush was [and is] all over YouTube and Facebook from the moment of its inception (read: leakage) at AR Rahman's famous AM studios in Chennai.
The genre is approximately a low tempo dance-gaana ballad - yes, it does make one go "huh?". It was supposed to be a movie soundtrack, but who cares? With the amount of profit earned from this Kolaveri thing, a producer can make an eternity of flop movies and still manage to turn up at any given Bollywood party in a Versace suit!
The context is that of a drunken hero who has been dumped, so he walks all topsy-turvy and utters what happens to be total nonsense (naansense?) to let out his sorrow.
How can this greatest of great song of greatville be met with 'mixed reactions?' Well there are very strong anti parties of it on Facebook and the rest of the net, Thikasse bhaa and associates for example. Plus there are those who have made the mistake of 'sharing the joy' with younger siblings and foreign friends. Evidently our 'bideshi' friends are happily kolaverying! If it has become the bane of your existence then well, join the league. However, yours truly must quote a wise friend here, “All the hate is really just increasing the discussion.”
As for kids, we have Sonu Nigam's son as a representative, with his very own kid version (awww) of this heavenly piece of musical excellence. Here's a crazy list of some more versions -
·Female version sung by Aishwarya Dhanush (his wife)
·Gujrati Version - “Why this Chokri Always Kharchadi?”
·English RnB version - “How could you do this to me?”
·Heavy Death Metal version (yeah, seriously)
·The not so good software programmers' version that laughs at the programmer-client relationship
·The hilarious politics puppet version, includes an incident of one politician slapping a random someone
The list of versions doesn't really end here, it also includes a few thousands of everyday versions we come up with while talking. For instance, when I asked a friend how come she was down with a fever, well, this is the SMS she replied with:
“Head feeling pain-u pain-u
Gotte wet in rain-u
Temperature-u measure-u measure-u
Turns out hundred one-u.”
In hindsight, I may have to accept part of the blame. See, I asked, “Why this kapakapi rey?”
Now here's something we all want to know: what in God's name is a soup song? Do soup boys make soup on payment? Dhanush explains, "Soup song means rejection song. Soup boys are boys who got rejected. Doubt cleared? God bless!" And of course, kolaveri means "murderous rage".
The list of achievements of kolaveri gets longer and longer with every passing day. It earned Dhanush a grand dinner with Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh and his Japanese counterpart Yoshihiko Noda. Even politicians spend time checking out the viral videos on the net apparently. Figures. Kolaveri was also named the best song of 2011 by the mighty CNN, with a handful of popularity reports written by BBC and the Time Magazine. Those who had nothing better to do on New Year's Eve have definitely watched Dhanush's performance on the Big Star Entertainment Awards. Clearly people don't hate Tanglish [Tamil+English] as much as Hindi.
This Dhanush by the way is Rajnikant's son-in-law. Ever wondered what would happen if Rajni himself had composed the song? Who knows? Maybe Kolaveri would have ended up becoming the national anthem of India!
By Qazi Mustabeen Noor
Expectations vs Reality: Oh, If I Were Rich
You should obviously be used to the human desire scenario by now. Expectations versus reality. A billion things cross your mind when you expect to receive something. You imagine the experience of receiving the prize and eventually making use of that.
As a kid you've always wanted toys. Shiny new toys you've seen your friends playing with. Be it mini pool tables, machine guns or walkie talkies. You wanted those. You would cry your eyes out until your parents were obliged to buy you the goodie. Soon enough, after barely ten days of playing, maybe even less, it'd be lying in a corner, dusty and untouched. Of course, had you not been bought the toy in the first place, you would never have realised its worthlessness.
Before the long awaited “grown up day”, you have always been looking forward to receiving money, despite its source, so that you can have your ice cream and your DVDs. And you wonder when that long awaited day shall finally arrive. The parents get to have all the fun - they are free to go wherever they want, buy whatever they like and they have the money to do so.
You wouldn't have spent the cash on all the vegetables and cooking utensils. Imagine the endless books, movies and burger you could buy. Chocolate cake everyday. And maybe you can even afford to join a gym to burn off all that weight! You would pay poor children on the streets, you would pay for meals for all your friends and heck, you could even pay for your own education. If you save it, maybe in time you could go on a vacation.
And then, you stop being nine years old and your dreams become reality. Or so it seems.
After all that, a day finally arrives that for some hard work you receive a certain sum of cash. However small it may be, it is money and for your first earning, it's not bad. What do you plan to do with it? Wait, first the movies or the bookstore? Will you be able to afford lunch as well? If you spend it on this, how can you spend it on something else? When will next month's money arrive? Should you note down all the expenditure so that you can keep track of it? All of this seems very confusing and is, somehow, frustrating. This little amount of money can't pay for your vacation. And if you pay the kid on the street, how can you afford to pay for your own education?
You are losing it. Losing a battle against your expectations. Oh, those times of blissful ignorance when you thought you could buy the world. You still can, if you hone some skill and become world famous or win the Nobel prize. But that's a long road ahead. And not everybody makes it. For now, you wish you could have your childhood back. Running around, getting tired and going to mom for money to buy a soda. Now you buy your own soda and you realise it costs too much to buy one everyday.
The irony is hilariously depressing.
By Padya Paramita
Pollution in Bangladesh not as bad as we thought
Good news or bad news. Sometimes, these are interchangeable. Turns out Bangladesh is not the most polluted country, as we all sometimes believe. No, it is one of the most polluted countries. China has us beat by far. And by far we mean really, really far. SO far, you can see China's pollution from outer space. No, seriously.
NASA has published an image of the pollution haze taking over the North China Plain. Yes, it's so bad that you can see it taking over thousands of square miles from space. Things were so bad that visibility dropped to 200 meters. The Chinese capital's airport had to cancel 43 flights and delay 80 more. The white patches, that's normal fog hanging below the haze. But the grey is all pollution. Captain Planet would die in there. And for all we know, sentient robots in China are developing the Matrix. They've already developed the artificially manufactured egg.
According to NASA's Earth Observatory, the haze is mostly made of two kinds of particles, PM 10 and PM 2.5. The number refers to their size: 10 micrometers and 2.5 micrometers. They are made of "dust, liquid drops, and soot from burning fuel or coal." Most of the pollution is made of PM 2.5. These are highly reflective, which is why we can see them from space when their concentration is high enough.
The 10 micrometer particles enter the lungs and cause respiratory problems. The 2.5 micrometer particles can embed themselves deep in the lungs and occasionally enter the blood stream. These particles can cause cancer and extreme respiratory problems.
But the question remains: when are we becoming the next China?