Ducks are so much fun, you know? They have those crazy pictures on Facebook, lipstick bright all over. “But they look so good with it!” *sigh* Carefree creatures, just happily waddling through the days - the aunties are always worrying about whether they'll ever settle down. Great to steal some moves off, too. You won't catch a duck getting caught up in all that bitchy gossip that goes around. Because they're just too busy laughing through life. If you're going through hard times, a lunch date with a duck is all you need for some unexpected wisdom and a great hug. If you're a duck, you just step out of the water and shake it all off.
If you're friends with an ant, then chances are that your mum is seriously thinking about adopting him. Because ants are just annoying like that. They'll know from seventh grade whether they want to go to Oxford or Harvard and exactly which branch of theoretical physics they want to study - ants have it all planned out, right from the moment they were born. Other creatures envy their dedication and hard work. And they're not afraid to pinch the behind of anything that gets in their way. That can get on your nerves a hell lot. “Sorry man, gotta go study,” just when you've finished telling them about the perfect FIFA marathon that you've planned. But ants aren't anti-social geeks, either. Not many creatures 'higher' up in the social order get the way ants are. But if you do, remember that an ant will always put their colony first.
Them dawgzz are somewhat similar, only they be too co0lzz to be chillin' with y'all. They travel in packs, you see; even if they be flea-infested mongrels riding bedazzled Starlets to their English coachings. Four or five of them dawgz be piling up into the back of the Starlet. They be putting on their shadesss, and they be turning up their 'Dhakaiya gangsterr' real loud. But if there's one thing to remember about dogs, their bark is usually worse than their bite. When they go all, “Noy-er A te ay, dekhay dimu ami ki jinish!” they'll usually miss their genjam date themselves because they were stuck at some coaching centre being forced to give a mock. Despite the shaggy, unshaven exterior, them dawgzz make good friendz. They're mostly loyal to their packs and know the ins and outs of every coaching centre. That makes a dog the perfect one to watch your back when you are up to no good.
Now look at that owl in the corner. You may think that she's dozing off. Most probably, she is. But that doesn't mean she'll fail her Mechanics class - she's smarter than you think. Owls are the type that can party all night and still pull off decent grades in the morning. They'll never get picked on by the teachers - they're higher up in the food chain than that. But mind you, they're no pet. Catch one at night and you'll see them break out the moves; owls are the ultimate party animals. However, only they know how to finish a 1500-word assignment after a night on the prowl. Don't try to be them. You can't. Owls are natural-borns.
Have you met the rabbit, by the way? No, I don't think you have. How can you, when they always move so fast? A five-minute catch-up at a mutual friend's party will tell you that your rabbit has acquired purple highlights, failed their final exams, and still managed to get into three different universities abroad. Oh, and did I mention they broke up? Twice? “But you didn't tell me any of this when I met you last week!” And the rabbit gives you a pitying smile. How could you possibly understand? “None of this HAPPENED last week!” And then they hop off. Endlessly social, the rabbit has friends all over, sometimes in places you'd never even think of. If you're looking for a long-lost friend, a rabbit's hole has all the answers you're looking for.
And crows are so emo, right? As if the black wasn't enough, they'll sit high and mighty upon their telephone wires and look disdainfully down at the world below them. “What's the point of all this, eh?” They hate everything in the world and they make sure that the world knows it loud and clear. You're only friends with a crow if you're one yourself. You and your buddy will find a ton of rubbish and spend hours picking it apart, looking for the answers to your existence. You'll be everywhere, doing nothing. Mostly, you'll be ignored.
Our previous topic for BetaWriters was: To the Jetpack. Due to unfortunate circumstance, i.e. there being no funny entries available, we decided to skip the topic like a bad dream featuring Darth Vader and Arnold Schwarzenegger while MC Hammer croons Rocketman on the radio. Yeah, we're traumatised. For next week, our topic is: Bust a move. If you hadn't noticed, we're changing things up a little from the sombre mood this section recently sank into. Work with us people. Show off those funny bones. Entries need to be sent in to firstname.lastname@example.org before Sunday noon. Word limit: 350-500 words.
It was a sunny morning when my Dad and I started off to school. My Dad took out the car from the garage until I waited. Suddenly, my eyes fell upon a small, black and white cat which was sleeping on the wall of the building's structure holder. It hoisted up and looked at me with its watery eyes and gave a long yawn, stretching itself from the stiff sleep. I tried to call it, but my Dad, I guess, scared it off by calling to me loudly. I held still at the moment, not to make it think I was going to catch it but it stared at me, and was about to run up a fast marathon out of the building, when one of the apartment guards catched it and bought it to me.
I was annoyed and frightened at the same time, because the poor cat was trying hard to escape and was scurrying of the man's shirt. I told him to let go of the cat, and he did. The cat jumped out of his hands and scurried on the pillar. I got sad after that, because I couldn't have it, but the cat didn't escape, it just sat there, motionless and was going back to its sleep again.
I "meowed" to it and it opened its eyes again, this time, a bit drearily. My Dad then called to me, "Hurry, you will be late for school. It's already eight 'o clock." But I didn't run, neither looked. In fact, I just happily felt the moments of which, this kitten was so brave in facing us and how intelligent it was.
I still feel as I have learnt a lesson from it. It gives me a heroic bravery which I could use it in life. It made me feel so strange while looking at this unguarded kitten, and how at a young age, it learns to be independent.
By Anika Nawar
I bought my dog,
In a day full of fog.
The shop-man said that,
The dog would be bold.
And I believed every word he told.
He was white in color
Light in weight,
So that I could lift him to my bed.
He was not so tall in height,
But he was strong enough to fight.
By M.Jeon Rahman