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Things are exploding. Police are doing baton charges and Facebook is full of memes about hartal, genjam and of course, Ilias Ali. Some of them are touching, some of them are funny, but we can’t help but think of the chickens that are going uneaten. We watch BGB going around in their lime-coloured jeeps on our way to work on hartal days and do we think about going home, perhaps playing a little cricket with our friends? No, we think of lemon meringue pie and pistachio ice-cream.


We are a hungry bunch, us Bangladeshis. And we’d do anything to put off night-before-exam cramming sessions. So we make sandwiches and hope to hear some good news. God knows they are few and far between nowadays.

~ Kazim Ibn Sadique, RS Sub-editor


Stages of activity during an all-nighter

By Orin

With the turn of calendar pages your exams loom and what seemed like someone else's problem in a galaxy far, far away is suddenly the root of your constant nightmare. As a proactive citizen in the student community do you start studying a month before the exam to ensure everything is triple revised? No. Because you are a sane person with a social life on the internet, but mostly because you suddenly stumble upon great movies, books and TV shows a week before the wretched exams. Heck, even Lata Herbal advertisements on YouTube or Momtaz's latest hit on TV seems like a good investment of time. And it probably is. Five years down the line you are not going to remember what balance sheet you managed to 'balance' or attempted puns in your physics book; you are going to remember lyrics of Aguner Gola and that is a fact.

As the final day approaches, there's no more escape. Come the next morning you either have to submit a 20 pager or cram a whole lot. You have already taken a few steps towards success: you befriended the nerd herd and have photocopies of all class notes. Unfortunately, you were a little late to start since someone on your Facebook commented 'you're' instead of 'your' and it wasn't easy to convince him of the cardinal sin. Then there were some photos of kitties. It is almost 10:30 when you finally decide enough is enough. You are studying for this final. And this is what happens:

10:38. Bathroom break.
10:45. Dinner.
11:15. That grammar noob commented again. The audacity! *click click* Oh look, 9GAG.
12:15. Oops.
12:20. Need some coffee for the night. Maybe I'll catch some TV while the water's boiling. There's the moderately humorous movie that I've seen once. The guy does something funny, I'll watch till that part.
12:50. Since I've seen most of the movie, what harm could another fifteen minutes do?
1:08. *Phones nerdier friend* “Do we seriously have to study EVERYTHING covered in class? Which parts are you studying? I'll read up the rest.”
1:47. Only half a chapter done. I need some good music to encourage the flow.
1:55: Everything I have is meh. Saw that YouTube link on someone's wall a few weeks back. Perhaps if I look for it a little...
2:12. The song sucks.
2:16. My table needs a little cleaning up. Everything is so cluttered! No wonder I cannot concentrate.
2:30. I don't feel too good. Power nap.
3:27. Should've woken up earlier! Now I'm hungry.
3:32. What is midnight snacking without TV? Fulham vs. Queens Park Rangers (re-run) is on. Could be exciting.
3:45. Back to Study. Concentrate.
4:40. Almost an hour. Not bad! I should reward myself with a small break. A research said you should never study for more than an hour at a stretch. So not just my brain, that's science talking.
5:05. Tomorrow could be hartal. Let's find out. No? ...Okay.
5:15. What is the point anymore? I am going to flunk anyway.
5:30. Well one last try, finish at least half of what I promised my friend.
6:10. Haven't seen a sunrise in years. Such a beautiful thing.
6: 25. Too tired to cram now. I should take the book with me to bed, read a bit before I sleep. Maybe something horrible will happen to the world before 8 so we don't have exams. It IS 2012, after all.
6:26. Zzzz
7:37. Apparently the world does not collapse when you want it to. Getting ready to go to school. I leave myself in fate's hands.


Hartal chickens

By Nutboltu

Saying a hartal is bad is like saying Shakira's dance on a young boys psyche is bad. It rattles the mind. It wadoodles. It makes you do irrational things like daydreaming or thinking up new words that have no meaning like wadoodle. So maybe hartal isn't that bad depending on which side of the flying brick you're on. You get a holiday, you daydream. That's pretty harmless.

What about chickens? They sit there day-in day-out wondering if someone will pick them out of their cage. They jostle for position only to be re-jostled by others jostling for position. But it's all the same thing. They are still looking out the bars of the cage wondering what their purpose is, other than The Purpose. See, chickens know they are the second tastiest thing on earth. They must serve by being served (with gravy). Yet, they have been sitting there for the last one week wondering if people will ever come out of their homes and pick them up. They cluck with big question marks hanging above their floppy crests. It's pitiful, because they have limited daydreaming capabilities. If they could see further than their beaks, they would have realised by now that the other side isn't always worth crossing over to. So chickens are bored out of their minds and we all know what an idle mind is good for. Mischief. If you don't eat the chickens, they will think and evolve and maybe cross over to the theoretical other side where we rule and they serve. Or get served.

So you see, the people that suffer the most during hartals are not people. Please, save the chickens. Eat them. With gusto.


Take some time to rant. Feel better? Go to our Facebook page for more. Link below.

Tashrif Mahmud
After reading "Got Class", my father said, “You could have spent an hour each week in a Bangla coaching instead of spoiling time on RS!

Mostafa Monowarul Hawke
The awkward moment when you finish reading 'How to flirt for Guys' and find out it was actually 'How to flirt WITH Guys'.

Sarah Nazreen Mithila
The piece on Putin was awesome. I actually teared up laughing!
Also, “Nappa: Look, a Pokémon!” EPIC!

Isha Nafisa Quazi
Einstein and RS. LOL. :D
He enjoys our articles through the time-space continuum he created. RS

There was a lot of talk about teachers:

Adiba Choudhury
Loved the piece by Mastura Tasnim and Zarif Masud. I wish for the day my English teacher will say "zippers" instead "jippers".

Imika Tsujiai Satsuki
I wish for the day my Economics Sir would finally say "parts" instead of the usual "farts".

Rhidita Khan
Got caught by the English teacher while reading "How to flirt with guys". BUSTED!
The Rising Stars So then what happened?
Rhidita Khan Glared at me. Then started reading it herself. Teachers, I tell you.
These little wins make it worth it. - RS

There was love-hate for cats

Imika Tsujiai Satsuki
ý*stares at the White Kitten as it 'mews' out all the confessions* ... Aw! Kitty! *starts snuggling and cuddling and smothering it*

Musarrat Rashidi Joty
I don't really like kittens that much.
John Lennon: Give peace a chance. - RS

Roudro Sakib Karim
You guys need new/better game reviewers. The Limbo review did it injustice. Besides, whereas the article suggested brilliant visuals and graphics (which I do agree with), the rating said 7/10?? Contradiction much?

Ahmad Ibrahim Any specific point you want to focus on? As far as I remember, it was waxing lyrical the whole time. Also, we said the graphics are unusual and, quote, 'transcend modern day graphics'. And 7/10 can hardly be seen as having bad graphics anyways. Cheers.



   

 

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