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PLANET RS

Life lacks adventure, the young people complain these days. If you're man (or woman) enough to take it, we with Finding Bangladesh bring you adventure by the bucketloads. Our cover this week introduces you to a series of trips that are insightful, wacky and sometimes a little dangerous. All this will be coming up in the following weeks as we explore the cool places Bangladesh has in store. Hit our Facebook page for some exclusive photos.

In the meantime, we bring you poignant reminders about one of the most inspirational persons in our lives... mommy dearest. --

--Ehsanur Raza Ronny, RS Editor


Be a Better Bad Guy

By Jawad

The annoying thing about public entertainment is that the good guys always win. This is stretching reality to its limit, because in the real world, good guys seldom win (nice guys finish last). The trend of letting the hero win against all adversaries lulls the Average Joe into a false sense of security that everything, after all, will be alright. This is in direct contradiction to the cruelty of human life. So villains need to man up and power up. They need new knowledge (because knowledge is power). Here's to the villains and would-be villains alike.

Lesson 01: Don't talk to your prisoner
Analysing hundreds of action films and novels, we have found that villains talk a bit too much to their prisoner. Whether it is boasting about their superior intellect, or explaining their diabolical scheme, or expressing their desire to rule the world, all these 'conversations' waste time and let the hero breathe and save some energy. We recommend killing the hero as soon as getting him all cuffed up. Remember, your plans won't be any less awesome even if you don't explain it.

Lesson 02: Attack all at once
Even a shirtless hero is equipped with the thickest plot-armour (defence: 98, offense: 97). In the same battle you, the villain, and your henchmen have only the lowest attack points possible. So, your only chance of winning is if you attack him all at once. Do not wait for your fellow cronies to get thrown/killed/massacred/rendered unable to move. Form a group and attack. Show no sympathy for he won't show you any. Unity is strength, brother.

Lesson 03: Don't leave the hero to die. Finish your job
It has been seen many times that the over-confident and seemingly triumphant villain-boss leaves the hero to die after critically injuring him. It is a fatal mistake, because moments after you leave, some plot-protected-ass-pull will arrive at the scene and revive the hero. Even though that person will die inevitably - at the very end, too - a revived hero will manage to throw a wrench where it shouldn't be thrown and ruin your clockwork-perfect plan. Finish your job. Watch the hero breathe his last. Then bury him for good measure.

Lesson 04: Don't ignore the ingenuity of childish traps
So, you have kidnapped the hero's mother/girlfriend after killing his best friend. You lured the hero to the old, abandoned garage-like store house. You are waiting patiently. Why don't you make some traps? I am not talking about the traps Indiana Jones frequently evades (because those are evadable, even by an old geezer), rather much more practical ones. Dig a hole and cover the opening with a piece of cardboard. Your hero will obviously be too mad with rage to notice it. He will fall and break his legs and you all can have a good laugh. Consult the Home Alone film series for ideas.

Lesson 05: Car chases. Don't do that
When you engage in an adrenaline-pumping car chase with the hero, you will obviously lose a lot of your resources (despite him being on a rickshaw and you on a bulldozer). Just let him be. Attack him when he is finally tired. Predict his destination. Wait for him there. We recommend you use a good GPS tracking device.

Lesson 06: Meditation
Before even thinking about taking shooting lessons for your impressive missing skills, you should start meditating. A calm mind can achieve the improbable. Brush-firing at the hero can not only increase casualties but also harm your auditory senses. Better take a deep breath, aim and fire once and for all.

We will consider ourselves successful if you turn out to be a better villain than… well, pretty much all of them.


Take some time to rant. Feel better? Go to our Facebook page for more. Link below.

Mahin Ahmed
Been living in Toronto for like a month now, sure it has giant crop fields but not like our endless vibrant green ones; it has got coloured trees but not as beautiful and huge like ours; the day gets sometimes sunny but not warm and loving like ours... I miss my country. One thing is for sure that NOTHING is as beautiful as Bangladesh.

Hence our cover this week. - RS

Ramisa Nawar Promee
Last night, I saw I got married with someone named 'Rising Stars' in my dream!

Er… we're flattered? - RS

Nifath Karim
Love, love, LOVED "Stages of Activity During an All-nighter". The Beta Writers piece was also really nice.

Rhidita Khan
Yes! Yes Barcelunatics! It is the beginning of your end! All hail Ronaldo!

Ahmad Ibrahim And yet Messi will bag the awards this time too. Just accept that he's the best.

Rafeed Rahman Turjya
The "Directions" that we never followed! Thanks for "Following Directions".

Musarrat Rashidi Joty
Things just become much more interesting when someone tells you not to do it.
The Rising Stars Soooo, DON'T read Rising Stars? Don't be its biggest supporter?

Sajid Khandaker
The cover article (Apotheosis Things Fall Apart) had me astounded. Definitely one of THE best write-ups I've read in a long time.

Tahseen Nur
This week's cover story was totally awesome! For a moment, I had forgotten I was here in the real world.

You were unplugged? Matrix reference? No? - RS




   

 

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