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PLANET RS

When no one's looking, we bust out a few dance steps. Whether we are good or not is a different matter. It makes us feel a little jubilant especially on days when nothing works out right. But just before the weekend, after much screaming, shouting, murder and mayhem, one thing works out right; that's RS. And now that we're done with it, we jump through a few steps, click our heels and hope the weekend goes well. Also, we hope we don't fall when we do all that 'clicky' stuff.

-- Ehsanur Raza Ronny, RS Editor


Extreme Sports

By Anashua

The travails Bangladeshi people overcome in their day to day journeys give us instincts of the jungle and the courage of drunkards. We are athletes by birth. If we were to make official sports out of the feats we achieve everyday, how would they be? Here's taking a look at the sports that would surely be adopted by the Olympic Committee.

Cow-Wrestling
Only strong hearted males are allowed to take part in this sport, so recently this sport is in decline as it is hard to find a male without cholesterol and heart blockages past the age of 30. In groups of five, men must enter the arena (usually an apartment parking) where bulls covered in colourful paper necklaces await them. The aim is to topple the bull and hold it down for 5 seconds without losing any teeth.

Possible Dangers: Multiple fractures, death by sharp horns

Other nationalities that could compete: The Spanish, but they have made their own what should have been the pride of the Bangladeshis, so they are disqualified

Bus Balancing
This is an extreme balancing group sport, where each group is comprised of as many people as can humanly cling onto a bus while it rages down devastated highways. Each group races against the other and the group that emerges out of the race with the most number of members showing signs of life wins.

Possible Dangers: Being whipped away by bamboo branches, dislocated spines, death by falling into nearby ditch

Neighbourly Boat Racing
This sport is in style in the months of October and November, when the roads of Dhaka are waterlogged and flooded. Neighbourhood teams compete with each other in the race to come out first. If the race is very close, competitors are allowed to resort to morally grey means like bashing each other on the head with oars.

Possible Dangers: Falling into poisonous waters, death by toxicity

Other nationalities that could compete: Venetians, for obvious reasons, but we could ambush them with unholy water and eliminate them

Wriggle-me-free
This is a test of flexibility and fortitude. The sport is to wriggle out of the smallest gaps imaginable, like the gaps created by the removal of a metal bar in any Farmgate divider. Without the aid of oil or bananas, contenders have to slide themselves through the gaps in the shortest time possible.

Possible Dangers: Disfigurement, amputation of limbs, death by mistreatment following amputation

Other nationalities that could compete: Definitely not Americans

Rickshaw Drifting
Rickshaws already race our streets. Cursing like bikers from Roadrash, they burn their way through every inch of street. Recently, they have started drifting too. In this sport, rickshaws would drift across Manik Mia Avenue right in the face of oncoming traffic, not giving a damn.

Possible Dangers: Upturned rickshaws, death by juggernaut

Other nationalities that could compete: The Japanese, because they apparently like racing, came up with rickshaws, support eco friendly machines, and are known to just not give a damn


Movie Report

The Speed Do or die.

By Jawad and Ero Senin


We accept love, hate, stalkers and gunshots through our contact links below. Cake we accept in person.

Dhrubo Saif
I want to do a GD against RS for "attempt to murder", cause I almost died laughing after reading the articles “The Speed-Do or Die” and “Desperations of a Hindi serial housewife!”

Please don't. We have been told to stay away from the police by the Government. - RS

Drupak Tasawar
After playing Skyrim, Reckoning was a total 0 out of 10 for me.
Shaer Reaz I kept mentioning that. It's not too serious a game, so you have to play it as such. Comparing Skyrim to Reckoning is like comparing a tank to a wooden stick. But it's not like you can't have fun with a wooden stick.

Nafisa Nowshin Piya
Will you guys accept biriany as bribe?

Yes. We are the ever-hungry, ever-thirsty gluttons of the world. Thanks Mr Palahniuk. - RS

Tahrima Saiha Huq
Loved Tareq Adnan's article! That's exactly why I hesitate about going abroad 4 my higher studies.

No fun if there's no challenge. Then again, plenty of challenge right here. - RS

Farhat Chowdhury Zishan
Loved the butterfly story. Seriously, life is GOOD from butterfly's point of view.

Mastura Tasnim Not really. I don't fancy being captured by weird researchers and repeatedly stretched to find my wingspan. Yes. There are people like that.




   

 

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