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The Friendship Zone Escape Plan

By Osama Rahman

So, you meet your soul mate and then get carried away 'making friendship' with her. Just before you realise, you are advising her on finding the right guy and BOOM, you get friendzoned. Yes, you are an idiot for letting it happen. The friend-zone is the worst possible place to find yourself in. Fortunately, there is an escape plan.

Self Realisation
Step one is to give yourself a long hard look in the mirror. You are not Spider-man, you aren't Iron Man and you sure as hell aren't Patrick Dempsey. Those fellows made it out of the friend-zone in epic manners, but you can't do that. However, you can take a leaf out of their page. The first thing is to confront yourself about the way you are feeling. You need to know before s/he does. Realise where you are lacking and what s/he is looking for and be that person. Then jump into phase two and bring your new personality around their friends. Peer pressure can help and if you can show you can be more than a friend, you are already on their list.

Shed Your Skin
If she thinks you are the nicest guy in the world or he thinks you are the nicest girl, then its time you change that. Nice guys finish last. Just ask the first Winklevoss twin. You need to show the object of your affection, that you aren't the nicest person in the world but you too have flaws. You may also administer a small dose of a mean streak in front of them. Don't be there every time they call and stop trying to help them out better things with their mate, if they are already in a relationship. Distance yourself and show them that you are much more than just nice. Hence, now you aren't needy but you give them an opportunity to be. Like in Ghosts of Girlfriend's Past.

Pop Mints and Drop Hints
Use mint because the dragon is a turn off. Then proceed to the next step and drop hints every chance you get. Take them our of their comfort zone and catch them off guard when you can. Take every chance to compliment and flirt and if you are coming on too strong, no one said it's a bad thing. If they reciprocate, then well and good. If they ask you to stay away, then that boat has already sailed. However, if you are a established friend, then they won't let you get away that easily. They'll take about maintaining the friendship. What to do then?

If you wanted a friend, you'd get a dog
No, you cannot be their friend. Tell them that in no uncertain terms. But make sure to emphasise that you will always be there when needed, but you will not be their friend because you simply cannot as it is just unfair. This way, you establish a boundary and leave the back-door open. Bad mental image, but you get the picture.

Be Spontaneous
Being bold and Spontaneous always works. Every movie tells you that. Now, although movies tend to lie, this may actually work. Be physical in conversations and let them know how you feel by gestures you make and not in words. Take the big leap of faith when time presents itself. Be bold and get to the point. You have already spent too much beating around the bush and the wrong one at that. There isn't anymore time waste. Jump, because if you fall, you can always get up but if you don't jump, you'll always be wondering 'if'.

But always remember if it is worth losing the friendship over. Generally, under such circumstances, there is no friendship so you are only deluding yourself. Carpe Diem, stuff here, ok? Just remember though, there is no such thing as a soul mate.


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