Home   |  Issues  |  The Daily Star Home

Baloney

“When the lord hath proclaimed: 'Let there be peace and love on earth', he did send down to mankind a sausage of bologna. Then, the war hath continued with mankind, each scuffle, each bar fight, each battle fought on account of possession of the Baloney.”
- Sameer S. Rahman

Baloney a.k.a the sausage of bologna; the thin circular slices of heaven which melt on your tongue after each much anticipated pause to exhale from basking in the after-taste of the last one. Baloney can be made from chicken, pork, beef and practically anything. Apart from bread probably, because that would make a pretty tedious baloney sandwich. Some like baloney, some not so much, and then the likes of Sartaz, who puts it in this way, 'The baloney is an object of immense power.'

The sausage of Bologna originated in Italy. Aah, them Italians. Baloney, pasta, men; they really do have the finest! After teasing Britain in the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries, with its divine taste, the Germans decided to intervene. They too adopted baloney as a part of their meal only with additional dressings such as garlic. * wipes drool off of corner of mouth while looking around suspiciously * moving on… For us Muslim folks were born Halal or Kosher baloney which is made of chicken, beef or turkey.

As much as the majority seems to love baloney, there are exceptions too. Did you know that the baloney is affiliated with 'rubbish' or 'nonsense' quite a lot? Frequently, baloney is termed as religious garbage. Why, though? Something so near and dear to our hearts, and well, usually our mouths (when there's a baloney sandwich in question) simply cannot be bad! Baloney is delicious and it abolishes the miscreants of hunger amongst us all. Baloney; starting from Italy, to Finland, to Labrador, the taste and fashion of its carving may differ but its message is perpetual: encouraging diversity and abolition of hunger.
In conclusion, baloney is great. Although some people may feel indifferent towards it, yours truly is yet to have an encounter with such a being. Thus, as simply put in the words of another baloney enthusiast, “Well, they are tasty.”

Now, time to make a visit to Sausly's.


CAR CORNER

The Return of McLaren's F1?

A recent concept study by McLaren Automotive, creators of the legendary F1 (NFS fans will surely remember their first time driving one, at least virtually), is supposed to be a mock-up of what an actual replacement of the F1 could look like. In short, it's gorgeous, combining ultra-modern looks with the effortless grace of the past, like a Frank Gehry creation on wheels.

The signature copper orange McLaren coloured hypercar isn't just pretty, either. Without any official information, all we can tell you now is that some sources have said that the P1 could be powered by anything from a brand new twin turbo V10 to the 3.8 litre twin turbo V8 engine from the MP4-12C, McLaren's only other production model. If they use the V8 motor, though, expect it to come with a Kinetic Energy Recovery System (KERS), for a combined power output of 903 bhp. Feel the goosebumps yet?

Unfortunately, the genius of Gordon Murray, the engineer-designer behind the original F1, is no longer involved with McLaren, so the P1 will miss his magic touch on it this time around. But have faith, if the MP4-12C's success shows anything, it's that British engineering still has a few kicks in it. Ferrari better watch it's back.


   

 

home | The Daily Star Home

2013 The Daily Star