Committed to PEOPLE'S RIGHT TO KNOW
Vol. 4 Num 197 Sun. December 14, 2003  
   
Star City


Matchmakers' masterstroke


All young people according to the Greek mythology worshipped Hymen, the God of Marriage. The bird 'Ghotok Pakhi' has legendary status as a matchmaker among the rural people of Bangladesh who view its arrival as a sign of impending matrimony.

The city of Dhaka also displays the same kind of importance to matchmaking but its much more institutionalised. The job of finding the right bride and groom is carried out by a number of agencies.

Although the present generation gets enough opportunity to make their own choices for life partners, arranged marriages are still the dominant trend in our society.

At least 150 matchmaking organisations are offering their services in the city. These agencies have encouraged hundreds of eligible men and women to come out of their shell of coyness in search of the perfect wife or husband. The agencies have also become popular with parents who can now relax knowing that a good son or daughter-in-law can be easier to find than they had thought.

"One might think that arranged marriage has became outdated but in reality, it remains as important as ever as our society will never change," said Kazi Ashraf Hossain more popularly known as Ghotok Pakhi Bhai.

Pakhi Bhai, a pioneer in this sector, began working as a matchmaker 38 years ago. He has brought together at least 6,000 couples till now. At present another 3,000 candidates are registered with his organisation Ghotok Pakhi Bhai Private Limited.

Pakhi Bhai believes that arranged marriages are the better option since the man and woman concerned can assess each other's family background without being biased.

"In many cases of love marriage, couples do not understand each other even after a long courtship," he said. He claimed that there were less cases of divorce among couples whose marriages had been arranged, as there was less expectation and practically no infatuation.

However, Pakhi Bhai has observed a change in the attitude of the grooms in recent times.

"They are fussy about looks and do not care about the family, education and sober nature. Almost 80 per cent of the guys asks for pretty faces which has not been the case in the past," he said.

The authorities of every matchmaking agency this correspondent talked to said that they their responsibility ended with arranging a meeting between a pair.

"We just help them find their desired type of person but after that, it is entirely their own responsibility to crosscheck for any information or query," said Ms. Sweety, another matchmaker.

Both Sweety and Pakhi Vai don't charge their clients at any fixed rate. They take whatever their client offers them in line with their financial state.

"We do not rip them off but we do accept money from clients since it is the only source of earning for us," said Pakhi Bhai.

There are other agencies like Badhon where one has to register with a fee of Tk 1500 and pay another charge later if the marriage takes place. The rate is higher for expatriate people.

Slowly but surely matchmaking agencies are gaining popularity in the city. Some of the city dwellers find it really helpful.

"I do not have time to socialise as I am left exhausted after the day's office work. So arranged marriage is the only way to begin a family life for me. That's why I have registered with a matchmaking agency," said a young single male working at a private company.

Though the licensed agencies are of genuine help, one should always be aware of fake marriage bureaus.

"Often we have people coming to us saying that they have been swindled by agencies in the name of matchmaking," said an employee of a marriage agency.

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By Sharier