In a feeble attempt to prove that I was not that ignorant I would mention that there was a famous left-leaning economist by the name Celso Furtado and whether Nelly could be related to him. Celso Furtado, it turned out was Brazilian, and his famous namesake Nelly Furtado was Canadian of Portugese immigrant parents. Such small talks between a Homeric (not the Greek Hero but the one from The Simpsons) father and a Lisa-like daughter came to an end. September 2001 changed all that.

My daughter who was schooled in a convent and was then attending a Methodist secondary school knew the basic tenets of Christian faith. She looked worried and asked me why can't America respond by turning the other cheek in keeping with the teachings of Jesus Christ?

Coincidentally, the Holy Dalai Lama wrote to President George Bush, a day after 9/11 asking him to respond to the terrorist attack in a non-violent way. But I knew, at my heart, that was not to be. In the world of realpolitik, precepts such as "an eye for an eye" rather than "turning the other cheek" still dominate.

We talked at length. Here was a 13-year old NRB (Non-Resident Bengali) who grew up with both religious education at home and Bengali language at a community-run weekend Bengali school, dancing to Tagore song under the keen direction of her dance teacher Kanta was presented with a troubling situation.

She was confronted with the question of her identity. I share this family story to explore how wars and conflicts between nation-states, albeit dressed up as religious wars (not clash of civilizations, sorry Professor Huntington), affect young people, especially young Muslims worldwide. Thanks to globalized media, the acts of terror, war, and wanton violence are brought home to our family room in no time. What in the past would be war out there is now a war in here.

The perception of religious conflicts made my daughter particularly worried since all her best friends were non-Muslims. To see the world -- especially her world of finger-numbing online chats and never-ending phone conservations with her friends, a world of music and movies -- disintegrating into conflicts between religions, at least, in appearance, was particularly troubling for her.

My daughter, like any other teen-agers in her situation became defensive about her religion. Why was our religion put under the spot-light? Under the global gaze? Even to say: "Islam is a religion of peace" was a reminder that it was now an issue. Why no one was saying: "Buddhism is a great religion, a religion of sublime peace," or "Jainism is in perfect harmony with nature where a lowly ant also gets protection." Thirteen-year olds understand all that.

How do young people live and fit in in a conflicted world which adds an extra-load to their anxiety-laden existence. This may be especially a problem for overseas Bangladeshis but in a globalized world those who remain within the country are no less globalized than those in the diaspora. We are all conflicted. There are wars outside, as there are within. How do we live in the world?

The state of normlessness we see in Bangladesh today needs to be situated in the larger geography of a conflicted and anomic world. Some try to escape from all these troubles into the charmed world of designer clothes and branded-cars (provided they can afford them), others try to hide behind the veil of an exaggerated piety (to me, they are not all that different) Parading a religion of materialism or trying to live in the "other world" of piety are two forms of escapism which may guarantee personal salvation but would not help resolve the crises of our times.

We live under the shadow of war and a culture of violence nurtured by the military-dominated political systems and the frenzied media. We don't often reflect how wars affect our minds, especially those of the young. My generation that lived, fought, and survived genocide and wars in Bangladesh experienced trauma which was also an education of the life time.

For us, though, there was light at the end of the tunnel -- or so it seemed in the heady days of national-liberation. That light is becoming dimmer by the day spreading a gloom of cynicism among the young. Cynicism is not bad if it comes with old-age. But when young people give up dreaming and succumb to cynicism that is worrying.

We need to return to the world of dreams and values. Values such as truth and justice have not outlived their utilities. We need these values globally and locally. We want to live in a multicultural world but not at the expense of our common humanity.

The author is a sociologist.