I say it now not to make a confession but to show that it is possible to hold moderate views in politics without going for extremes. I wanted to make the best of both worlds, picking the right choice from the past and the bright choice for the future. But I had no illusions about politics. I knew it was a mere choice of the lesser of two evils. And I bring you the proof! What the son has done in one party, the daughter is said to have done in another. It will be an irony if both are proven guilty as charged.

It is a terrible destiny when respectable lives turn into ribald laughter, but that is how history punishes its defaulters. That being that, what do we do now? Some people are talking about truth and reconciliation. It healed the wound between blacks and whites of South Africa. But is it going to work for us? We don't know until we know the truth. This nation does not have apartheid. We are not divided along racial or religious lines. We don't have any real cause of mutual hatred that should run so deep in our blood. Of course, there is a rift. We are still divided into those who fought for freedom and those who opposed it.

Is that the truth that needs to be reconciled? Yes, one party had the enemies of the Liberation War with them. But ultimately the fight was between two political parties streaming with freedom fighters. Then what happened? Why did they fight? Reconciliation means closure and it can't happen unless we know where to start.

The ideal way would have been to gather people in public squares all over the country to tell the truth, pointing fingers, like they did during the Cultural Revolution in China, at themselves and their friends and families for being decadent, for not living by honest means and renouncing ill-gotten money and wealth. We need massive confessions not only from politicians, but from everyone -- bureaucrats, bankers, lawyers, doctors, businessmen and other professionals. But will those confessions come? Are we going to confess that the houses we live in, cars we ride, expensive weddings, costly dress, even our own parents, uncles, friends and relatives are tainted by corruption?

In other words, we have a different brand of truth, which calls for a different brand of reconciliation. It can't happen if we just form a Truth Commission and ask people to come and talk about their misdeeds and ask forgiveness of their victims. It worked in South Africa where the line between the victim and the victimizer was clear. But it was handled in a different way in the United States. The Federal troops were sent to Alabama to enforce desegregation so that a black student could enter an all-white institution.

In our case the reconciliation can lead to further division because in our pretensions to tell the truth, we will create further pretensions to cover it up. And I must say it again that what ultimately divides us is the truth which we have tried to keep from each other -- war crimes, assassination of political leaders, corruption, inefficiency, and ignorance. This is where we are different from the South Africans. They hurt openly, the evidence being in the scars and graves of their victims. Our hurting is not so open. It is hidden in the lies in our hearts.

At this point, let me share the good news with you. The biggest truth which is hidden from us is that the people of this country were never divided. It is something we need to analyze, because only six months ago, they were crowding the streets to die for their leaders. Not a smidgen of noise since the son was arrested and the daughter has been taken to court!

In my opinion, the problem is confined to the leaders and the rest of the upper crust, and their conflicts and rifts were misunderstood as cracks in the bedrock of people who were never divided. That is why I say that the truth and reconciliation is not going to work for us. In South Africa, it was an opportunity for the blacks and whites who took a close look at each other. But our challenge is different. We need to look at ourselves. The real problem lies not in the other man but within each of us. In our case, a Truth Commission has to sit inside each mind.

The 150 million people of this country are divided into two streams. Roughly 145 million love their country and they want a good life. They work hard and that is as far as politics goes for them. Another 5 million are politicians, who play with the sentiments of people and push their own agenda.

When I voted for BNP I also had an agenda. I wanted a change to see a more efficient government in power. It was not disrespect for the father of the nation just because the party he once led had let me down. Now I know the party I voted has not done any better.

Multiply that disappointment by 145 million and there is an enormous truth hiding somewhere amongst 5 million politicians. It is not between two political parties. It is not between two factions of the people. It is between people and the politicians. Truth is that they have divided us to rule us. They should tell that truth and expel the lies from their hearts. They should heavily confess to give reconciliation a chance.

Mohammad Badrul Ahsan is a banker.