"Yes, just give me a second."

I'm sure they are with me; otherwise, how could I have come to the airport. They are not in my pocket; of course, how could they be in my pocket? A pocket is not big enough to hold them. But where could they be? Could they be inside my bag? But, I don't have any handbag with me. I couldn't have kept them inside my suitcase. How could I do that? Don't I know that while travelling abroad people carry their ticket and passport on them? The passport is very important; one will have to show it at several places. Certainly, I didn't make the mistake of putting my ticket and passport inside the suitcase.

"Sir, have you found your passport and ticket?"

"Sorry, not yet. But, I'm sure they are with me. I don't know why I can't find them?"

"Well, shouldn't you have taken them out before you came to the check-in desk?"

"Yes, certainly. I think I took them out."

"Then, where are they now?"

"That's what I am thinking."

"Could you have dropped them somewhere in the lobby?"

"No; that's very unlikely. I never lose things. I'm a very careful man."

"Then where is your ticket and passport? You know I can't let you check in without them."

"Yes, I know that quite well. But where could they be?"

"Well, you don't expect me to answer that question, do you?"

"Oh, no! I was just talking to myself."

"Sir, why don't you move from the line and search for them. In the meantime, let me handle the other passengers."

"But, then I'll lose my place in the line."

"But I can't help that. Without your passport and ticket I can't let you board the plane. I'm sure you dropped them somewhere in the lobby. The airport security won't have let you enter the lobby without your ticket and passport. Search carefully."

"But, officer..."

"Please, sir, let's not waste time. You see you are holding up the other passengers. As you can see, there is a long line behind you. We have a holiday crowd today and every one is eager to get on their planes. The flights are due to leave shortly. Come back as soon as you have found your ticket and passport and I will take you even if there are people before you in the line."

"Thanks, officer. I appreciate your assurance. Please, remember that I was first in the line."

"Sure, sir, and now make room for others."

But where could be my ticket and passport? I couldn't have left my home without them? Did I check whether I had them with me before I left home? Usually, I am very particular about such details. Every day when I go outside, I check, double-check my keys, pen, wallet and other essentials. It's not that I have always been infallible about the details. Didn't I once lock myself out by picking up the wrong set of keys? Accidents are not common; even if they are not rules of life, they happen now and then. I can't be above the rules of life. However, rule or no rule, I couldn't have left home without my ticket and passport. I can't be so absent-minded. Only, idiots can afford to be so careless. Did I forget to take them out of the drawer at the last minute?

Wasn't I in my room last night? Where was I last night or evening? Wasn't I at home? I'm sure I was at home. But how sure am I? Let me remember some of the things that I did last evening.

I was with Meena and had dinner in a rooftop restaurant. But just a second! Meena never goes out for dinner with me. She has come out for lunch with me once or twice, but she has never dined with me. Strongly and determinedly, she had declined all my invitations for having dinner outside. It's difficult to understand people's motives. I have never understood how having dinner with me would spoil her reputation. But these are not the thoughts of the moment.

Why is it becoming so difficult to put my thoughts in order? Why did suddenly Meena come to my mind? Why can't I even remember what I did last evening? How can the simplest things of life get so complicated? What could be easier than recollecting what happened in the immediate past? It may be difficult to recollect what happened a week or a month or a year ago, but how can anybody fail to remember what happened only last evening? Let me try to recollect once again what I did last evening.

The officer told me to search the lobby carefully. Surely, he knows better. Didn't he tell me that the security wouldn't have let me in without a ticket and passport?

God, this is a nice place! How cool, clean and quiet it is! Can one think that in densely populated country like ours there can be such a haven? The way light shone all around made the lobby look like an illuminated island. Whatever one looked at, it returned the onlooker's gaze clearly. Matching the shade of the light, a soft music was playing. Its soft lilt flowed like a mechanical breeze whirring out of the air conditioners.

The flights had been announced and the passengers one by one were crossing into the departure lounge through a security check door. As they went through, they moved as if they were being ferried into the other side of the world. Didn't all the passengers look relieved as their backs disappeared beyond the security gate? Yes, they did indeed. Their faces beamed a clear knowledge of their respective destinations. But here I was sweating as though I were in a purgatory without my ticket and passport, essentials for a journey.

Though I knew fully well that I had not dropped my ticket and passport in the lobby, I searched it thoroughly as if to satisfy the official at the check-in desk. After all, he seemed confident that I had dropped them somewhere in the lobby. But nothing can be lost in the lobby. The lights here are crafted not hide but to reveal things. Everything here radiates light. Even the blue-coloured tiles on the floor could be compared to an inverted sky with hundreds of stars twinkling on it. There was no question of losing the ticket and passport in the lobby. However, I didn't bother to look in the rest room, as I had not used it. Moreover, my memory is quite dependable.

Should I ask the passengers whether any of them had found my ticket and passport? Or should I have it announced through the lobby speakers? But that would look ridiculous. People would laugh at me, taking to be a lunatic who came to the airport without his ticket and passport. Let me see whether I can spot a known face among the passengers standing in line. No, not a soul that I can recognize!

"I had not known death had undone so many."

How forgetful I am! I should have checked whether I really left home without my passport and ticket. Well, I can do that now. Fortunately, I still have my mobile phone with me.

"Hello, yes, it's me."

"Haven't you left? Wasn't your plane due to leave an hour ago?"

"Yes, but you see there is a problem."

"What is the problem?"

"I can't find my ticket and passport."

"Where did you leave them? How silly of you! Did you really leave home without them? Where did you leave them?"

"I think I put them in the wooden chest of drawers last evening."

"What wooden chest of drawers are you talking of?"

"Why, the one in my bedroom, with a huge mirror."

"Have you lost your mind?"

"Why, what's wrong? I put the ticket and the passport on the top right shelf inside a green envelope, marked journey."

"Do you remember when you disposed of the drawer?"

"When did I dispose of it?"

"Exactly three years ago."

How can it be that I don't even remember that I sold off the chest of drawers three years ago?

The lobby glowed under the lights. One could still hear the whirring of the air conditioners. They were a little louder now as the whole lobby was empty. All the passengers had left. What should I do? I was all by myself and felt lost. May be I should go home.

"Hello there, have you found your ticket and passport?"

"No, sir."

"Are you sure you have them?"

"I think so. Didn't you say that I would not have been allowed in without a ticket and passport?"

"Yes, but you see sometimes people are under illusions. And some people bribe the security people to let them in."

"Officer, I have never done a wrong thing in my life."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. Maybe you have you been dreaming."

"Can one think of going on a journey without a ticket and passport? Have I been having a nightmare?"

A very young friend of mine died a few days ago. He was not even forty.

And how can I, who have no journey to make, be bothered about tickets and passports?

Quazi M. Billah is professor of English at Chittagong University.