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Dear Mita,
I'm 21, in a relationship with a guy for six years. We started off as best friends and eventually fell for each other. The relationship has been wonderful, it's like growing up together sharing laughter and pain. The dilemma is, we no longer seem to be on the same page. With graduation coming up, I expected him to be somewhat serious about us especially when he is lagging a year behind me. Due to financial issues, he had to skip a few semesters. I understand he is going through a rough patch but he seems to have changed so much in all these years. These days, he prefers everything else over me. Music, friends, games, everything is more interesting than me. I gave him space and time thinking it would fix things but we are developing a communication gap. Even if we don't talk for days without any good reason, it doesn't seem to bother him. I'm broken inside thinking he doesn't want me anymore and we will never have a future together. He being my first and only love (and I his), I've given everything to this relationship and now I have completely lost faith in love. I seem to be the only person hurting here and that's affecting my mood, studies, social life badly. Please help me!
Unwanted
Dear Unwanted,
This is a sad reality that one has to face. That is, people change over the years. Nothing in life is static and nothing can be taken for granted. Six years is a long time in a life of only 21 years. Over this time, both of you have changed in one way or another. Perhaps you have become more serious and ambitious while he is now laid back and mostly interested in friends, music rather than plan for a career etc. The communication gap between you has increased because you are not the same people any longer. I know this is very difficult to accept, but disappointment is a part of growing up. How you handle this is what makes for a mature and stable person. Give the relationship everything but at some point you might have to call it quits. In the long run he might not be the right one for you, the sooner you accept this fact the better it will be for both of you.
Dear Mita,
I have been in a relationship with my all time crush for six months. He is 21 and I'm 20. We met a long time back in a coaching center. I always had a secret crush on him, and he knew, somehow. After that he asked me out and we were in a happy relationship. We were both very serious about our relationship but I always found it very hard to understand him. We were very close and shared almost everything until suddenly he broke up with me! And I should mention that I never did anything that could hurt him. Instead I think he's hiding something from me! And now when I see him around he looks really ill and unhappy. I don't know his feelings for me but I really can't see him like that. What should I do? He loved me a lot, but now all of a sudden he broke-up with me. I can't understand what his problem is, and he is one of the shy ones. I still love him and want to get back with him, but he is not sharing his problem with me. And I can't understand and can't ask him. What should I do?
Confused
Dear Confused,
You certainly need to talk with him. That is the only way to get to the bottom of his problem. You can tell him that even if you have broken up you can still be friends. He might be sad about something else which is not related to you. You can also talk to his friends or family members if you feel close enough. It should not be too difficult to find out from the social network as to where the problem lies. If you are that interested then try to win him back, he might have broken off with you for an insignificant reason which can be mended if both of you want. However, at the end of the day, all relationships are not meant to last, some do fall off on the way; unfortunately, this one might be one of those.
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