Special Feature

The ordeals of shaving

Many say being a woman can at times be difficult. You know what I say? Being a man is not easy either! I feel this every morning, while I perform the one task that is never going to leave me in peace: shaving!

Things were not this ugly a few years back, when I first started to shave. I looked into the mirror one day, observed my bristly face and announced to the world: I am going to do it! I will shave! It's about time.

Buying my own shaving utensils was delightful. I am going to step into manhood, I thought. And then, the shaving itself- it was like a transition period; transition from my pre-shaving era to the shaving one!

After the shaving, I felt good because I looked good. Not many people agreed, unfortunately. As I stepped into the class, I was greeted by a roll of laughter. “What's so funny?” I said to myself, now irritated. The teacher kept his calm, but he also kept looking at me from time to time, grinning wittily.

If you are in school and you do something too foolish, or too wise, too shocking or too boring- you are given a nickname. I became a 'Chhela Murgi' for many weeks afterwards!

Gone are such golden days when shaving used to be fun. Now, shaving is on my Black List. Shaving is a punishment. You wake up in the morning, drag yourself to the bathroom, and before you are fully conscious, your face is covered with foam, and then, with sleepy eyes, you apply a blade to your dear skin. You watch the clock ticking away and you are late for work. You try to hurry up. You fail - you've cut yourself. You frown; you continue shaving anyway, uttering the first curse of the day.

Then you come to the tricky part of the game. The hideous areas you have to shave, like the area around a pimple. You make all sorts of faces and position yourself in an awkward manner in order to shave that tricky spot. Then, after gathering courage and analyzing the scene, you decide on the way you are going to hold your razor, and off you go. However, your mission fails. You curse again. And then, after a careful revision, you wash off your face, only to realize a few little guys are still left behind. You attack them, this time more irritably and less carefully. You hurt yourself again; you curse again.

Electric razors are not an option for me, I hate them as well. So I thought, why shave? If I spend fifteen minutes a day on this task, I will be spending approximately ninety one hours shaving in a year! Don't I have a better way to utilize my time? Think of all the football matches I can play, all the movies I can watch! No more shaving then - a simple statement based on simple math.

Things did not turn out to be simple, though. I looked like a homeless fellow living in the streets. The rugged look that I get from my unshaven face, ruffled hair and sunken eyes due to lack of sleep is sensitive to the antennae of every policeman I pass. What do they think I am, a drug dealer?

The obstacles to not shaving do not end here however. The faculty-members disapprove of it; many girls disapprove of it too! And let's not forget the whole notion of the 'Devdas' look. The other day a friend said, "Hey you got dumped again?” No! I did not get dumped! And why did he use the word 'again'? When did I ever get dumped?!!

Having a perfect shave is only possible for surgeons, I believe. They have the expertise, not me. But I think I can rely on barbers. From now on, I'll go to the salon thrice every week, and let them take over- perform the 'surgery', that is!

By M H Haider
Photo: Sazzad Ibne Sayed