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Guidance Note Series 10
Developing communication skills

Amitava Basu

We have now reached the end of this Guidance Note Series on “Developing Communication Skills”. The tenth and last instalment of this Guidance Note Series outlines how to make a super conversation. Remember, though the guidance note ends here, your practice should not stop. It is sincere efforts that will enable you to excel in your communication.

Introduction
Good communication skill is a combination of ability to say what you mean clearly and concisely and competence to take on board other people's opinions and adapt what you say accordingly. At the same time, you need to make others feel that they can speak freely. It may sound difficult to attain this skill, but it is not so. All that you need is to follow certain rules.

Non-Verbal Communication
Remember, we started the guidance note series by stating behavioral style is a major element for effective communication. Non-verbal communication conveyed through action has a significant bearing on verbal communication. You need to be careful of how you express your attitude and emotion. This is reflected in your behaviour.

Your behaviour should show respect for the other people, polite and free of emotions to the extent possible.

Prepare Yourself
Preparedness is always rewarding. Think what you want to get out of the conversation social talk, an appointment, a job, sorting out finances and so on. Once you are clear of your objective, plan what you want to say. Many a times you feel comfortable to start a conversation if a script is worked out in advance. This helps to initiate the talk and as the conversation progresses you find that thoughts and words flow in naturally.

Be Attentive
Time and again, great stress has been laid on the importance of listening to others. Being attentive to what others say is a real virtue. To have effective flow of conversation, it is imperative that you patiently and carefully listen to the person with whom you are conversing. This helps to know when to come in or intervene in the conversation and provides clue to what to say and how to respond.

Be Relaxed
Conversation is not an examination or an interview. Be relaxed and enjoy conversing. Do not load yourself with tensions because anxieties only build up barriers in your mind to speak and behave without premonition. Be normal and free.

Remember, smile does not cost you anything but it can fetch you a lot. It provides a feel good factor to the people around you; make them at ease and helps to converse in a conducive manner. And, do not forget to bring in humour at appropriate juncture, which makes the conversation enjoyable and lively.

Select Topics of Mutual Interest
Sensitive or too personal subjects are not liked by most people and are deterrent to good conversation. Pick up topics that are of mutual interest. Usually, people prefer to talk on subjects such as family, occupation, vacation, hobby and the likes.

Avoid Inappropriate Questioning
It is not feasible to avoid putting a question during the course of a conversation, and there is nothing wrong in asking a question. The point is that your question should not put the other persons into embarrassment or cause offence. This is what was mentioned in the immediately preceding guidance note. Open-ended questions are welcome as all participating in the conversation can respond to these. Even, at times, probing questions are permissible if these help to bring out frank views and opinions of others that you are looking for. However, the tone of the question should not sound to be interrogative or as cross examination of a witness in the courtroom. Generally, leading questions become the root cause for turning a conversation difficult. Avoid such questions.

Defuse Tense Situation
As discussed last week, at times, you may face situations when conversation may seem difficult. Defuse the situation because conversation should never turn into confrontation. It needs to be again underlined that when you find that the conversation is becoming difficult, you need to digress the conversation to another topic, or make a humour that lightens the situation, or call for a tea or coffee break that diverts people's attention and helps to calm down.

The Final Word
In conclusion, it needs to be mentioned that some are born great communicators and some achieve the skills of communication. Never think that good communication skills remain as mirage. It only needs determination, sincerity and practice that make the apparently impossible into possible in reality. So, do not stop here, continue to practice. Remember the famous saying of Robert Bruce of Scotland “Try, try and try again”, and you will surely meet success.
Good luck!