A
doctor and a lawyer were attending a cocktail party when the doctor
was approached by a man who asked advice on how to handle his ulcer.
The doctor mumbled some medical advice, then turned to the lawyer and
asked, "How do you handle the situation when you are asked for
advice during a social function?"
"Just send a bill for such advice" replied the lawyer.
On the next morning the doctor arrived at his surgery and issued the
ulcer-stricken man a $50 bill. That afternoon he received a $100 bill
from the lawyer.
*****
The
preacher came along and wrote upon the signboard: "I pray for all."
The lawyer wrote underneath: "I plead for all."
The doctor added: "I prescribe for all."
The plain citizen wrote: "I pay for all."
*****
What's
the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer?
A good lawyer knows the law, but a great lawyer knows the judge.
*****
Two
lawyers were walking along negotiating a case.
"Look," said one, "let's be honest with each other."
"Okay, you first," replied the other.
That was the end of the discussion.
*****
"You're
a high-priced lawyer! If I give you $500, will you answer two questions
for me?"
"Absolutely! What's the second question?"
