Home   |  Issues  |  The Daily Star Home | Volume 2, Issue 43, Tuesday May 3, 2005




Beauty Talk

Sadia Moyeen, Beutician, La Belle

Q. Hi Sadia,
I am a 17 year old girl. I sat for my O' Levels in January, and still have some in May. I have three problems:

1. About a year and a half back, I had thick, straight and silky hair. Back then I had no hair problems. I've always oiled my hair weekly and used henna. From about 6-8 months back, I've been suffering from a lot of hair fall, and now, I have about one-third of what I had before. The quality is still the same. My forehead has grown bigger, and the little hair that I have lies flat on my head, making my round face look larger. I cut my hair twice, once in a U shape and now in steps, and used various home remedies, but to no avail. I've tried shampoos like Garnier Fructis, Herbal Essence, Pert, and whenever I use conditioner I lose even more hair. Please advise me on how to get my thick hair back. How long should I wait to notice any difference? If I need to see a doctor, please recommend someone good, and how helpful will it be?

2. I have dark marks around my lips and over the laugh lines around my lips. How can I deal with this? I have never bleached or waxed.

3. I am skinny and underweight for my age, in spite of a healthy diet. How can I gain weight? I hope you can help me. Thanks!

A. (1) Stress can sometimes be the cause of hair loss. Apply oil and gently massage scalp. Make a pack with fresh amla paste 2 tbsp, yoghurt 1 tbsp, egg ¾
tbsp, onion juice 1 tbsp. Use twice a week. Keep on for ½ an hour. Shampoo off with any mild shampoo using cool water.

(2) Massage laugh lines every night with Vaseline petroleum jelly before going to bed. Bleaching will help lighten the dark shades around your mouth as it is probably due to light hair growth in that area.

(3) The structure of your body depends to a great extent on hereditary factors, but there is no doubt that it is possible to put on weight with the right exercise and diet regimen. Start going to a gym where a fitness instructor will guide you on the use of light weight lifting exercises which will eventually add muscle weight to your body as well as increase appetite. If possible swim everyday before lunch.

Q. Hi Sadia
I am going to Hawaii in a few days and you know Hawaii means swim suits. My under arms are really dark after using Veet. Should I go for fair polish? If so, how many times do I have to do it? My knees are also very dark; is bleaching a good option? How much does it take to do permanent make up on moles? How can I get rid of a mole and how much does it cost? One last question. I have dark patches on my skin, which had been there for as long as I can remember. What do I do?

A. Fair polish will work for you. The very first application should produce a cleaner brighter skin, so go for it. Moles can be removed using laser and other technologies. It is a simple procedure, which leaves a red swollen patch for a week or 10 days, but this disappears soon enough.

Q. Dear Sadia, I am facing some problems and I desperately need your help. My hair has become dry. I oil my hair once a week. I shampoo and condition my hair twice a week. Should I continue doing it? I also heard that using egg on the hair helps to make it more silky. Is that true? What kind of shampoo should be used for dry hair? I really want my hair to be soft and silky. Is there any way by which I can get that kind of hair? Is there any possibility that blow-drying would damage my hair? I have an oily skin on the T-zone for which pimples, blackheads and white-heads are always visible on that particular place. What can be done to avoid this? Is there any home remedy I can use in order to reduce the oil on my face and acquire a glow? I have been told to use fair and lovely anti-mark cream, but I also heard that these products are not good and are usually fake. Should I really use it for the spots? Should I use Garnier Light? Does it work? I would gladly appreciate it if you could help me with my problems. Thank you

A. Yes, continue with the oiling and twice a week shampoo and conditioner, but buy ones that that are specially made for dry hair. If possible have a cream conditioning treatment at a salon once a month. Over blow-drying will make the hair drier. Blow drying even once a week is fine.

For your oily T-zone, have your white and black heads removed once a month at a salon. Use a toner everyday on the oily area wiping it with a cotton swab.

Use a clay-based mask on your face twice a week. Go ahead and use fair and lovely anti-marks cream; just make sure you buy it at a good reliable store.


Dr. Nighat Ara, Psychiatrist

Q. Hello Doctor. I am writing about two situations here.

1. It's about everyone in society in general. Whenever I talk to people, I find every one is envious of the others' successes. It is a very common phenomenon among men and women. Everyone is talking behind everyone else's backs. Moreover, when a girl becomes successful, all anyone talks about is how 'pretty' or 'cool' she is and so on, as though a girls success is not based on her work only.

How do I deal with these kinds of conversations?

How do I keep myself from being influenced, and stay popular and acceptable to all at the same time?

Ans : Jealousy and envy are normal human emotions. People feel envy at others' success as it reminds them of their lost chance or hope, broken or unfulfilled dreams of life etc. This negative emotion tells us about our limitations, shortcomings and inadequacies. Constructive use of this emotion can lead to self-development whereas destructive use leads to a behaviour that is harmful to the self or to others.

Passive aggressive (ranging from character defect to personality disorder) people express their resentment and envy towards apparently fortunate people and release their aggressive feelings in a relatively safer way, by back-biting (they tend to avoid confrontation).

"Projection" is a psychological defense mechanism, which refers to perceiving and reacting to unacceptable inner impulses and their derivatives as though they were outside the self. A tendency to judge others readily (by calling them greedy, selfish, jealous etc) develops when someone bears strong preconceived ideas about others and reacts easily on the basis of that bias. Psychological bias and prejudice leads them to attribute all negative stuff on others and discount their own personal flaws. Psychological defenses are mostly unconscious processes and can be brought to consciousness by psychological therapies. Negative thinking pattern leads one to over generalize a particular situation (e.g. "everyone is speaking ill of others", or "every one is envious" etc).

Making derogatory comments about successful women and trying to minimize their talents can be explained from different perspectives. Insensitive men often make these comments naively without realizing how it can impact the woman who has earned success with hard work. Some men make these comments deliberately as part of a well-orchestrated systematic propaganda to damage a woman's career and personal life. Again, some believe this is the best way to flatter a woman (how many women fall in that trap?). There are certain issues, which actually demand zero tolerance (e.g.: terrorism, corruption, gender discrimination etc.). This kind of sexism and sexual harassment at the workplace are detrimental to a woman's progress. Weak men (who feel threatened by successful women) try to uphold their gender superiority because of the automatic privileges they get out of it; some do it to exercise their power and control over this vulnerable section of the population. Some women may support this because of their excessive dependency need on men, and a general inability to overcome their personal gender inferiority feelings, or for some vested interest. All these contribute further to gender rage.

I believe, your response will depend on your perception of the motive behind and your commitment level around the issues mentioned above. Sense of humour and healthy boundary sense can help to protect the vulnerable self. Delete, trash or block those garbage messages before it causes long-term damage or send them back to its owner. Protest, educate or resist, whatever works best for you. Hanging out with people with different values and beliefs is enjoyable only if everybody agrees to disagree, have tolerance for others views and respect each other for who they are. An excessive desire for popularity might require oneself to suppress the inner self for the sake of conformity. That would eventually bear the risk of losing the real self and leading a fake, pretentious life. Staying popular and acceptable to ALL can also be regarded as an irrational, unrealistic goal.

To be continued...

By The Way

Facts about orange juice

Time to consume juices. A survey shows that orange is the most sold juice around the world. Here are some facts about the delicious drink. It's full of vitamin C, potassium and folic acid. Research at Harvard found that high consumption of citrus juice reduced the risk of a blood-clot stroke by 25%. Orange juice also has anti-cancer powers, research says: Animals fed orange juice are less likely to develop early colon and breast cancer.



By Iffat Nawaz

Imbalanced Optimism

Can someone tell me why the boatman in Buriganga with his sculptured muscular hands rowing in the dirt and mud charges me only 20 taka to cross the river twice, and dumping me back to the ground full of garbage still gives me his hand so my imbalanced feet can stand up on his shaky nouka and step back into reality, as dirty and as unreliable as the depth of Buriganga.

And can you tell me why the same 20 taka doesn't get me even a decent canned drink, chilled happiness inside trendy tin that will be half wasted is worth way more than the sweats and hunger of a Buriganga's boatman's midday business.

Can someone also let me know why the rikshawalas don't tell you anymore how much point A to B will cost and always give you a stare full of guilt like you have betrayed them, ripped them off and I the weak temporary citizen of Bangladesh feel obligated to still bargain. Giving them 10 taka more becomes too heavy for my hands yet walking away from his rickshaw I can spend a few thousands on nothing much… on overpriced fabric in over rated stores with under paid sales girls.

Can someone tell me what's the standard now days that one gives to a beggar. 2 taka or 10? Or does it depend on the attire of the beggar, the age, the time of the day and the corner of the street? Does it depend on their faces, now days they don't look as desperate as before I must admit, and I often am inclined to give money to the ones who look cleaner and has some shame in reaching out to seek. Can someone tell why that is?

Also is it wrong of me to wonder why the village women of Shimulia (the village of pottery makers only an hour away from Dhaka) has never in their life visited Dhaka nor ever wants to. Why they don't wonder what life is out of kumar para, what makes them so content, forever making flower pots and vases, why don't they have any expectations or dream of vanity, with their shiny gold nakfuls on their noses what makes their burnt beautiful skin glow with a certain comfort that will never embrace my body. Can someone tell me is it wrong of me to be jealous?

Why do Dhaka and it's surrounding with their extreme homophobia have kept thousands of homosexuals away in the outskirts, their community now slowly getting stronger and out of the stereotypical picture works with NGOs such as "Sushto Jibon," something that most Dhakaites are not aware of and would rather not hear about. How much longer will this pretense charade last and when will there be a revolution of some sort, and how many will be killed, how many will be injured and how many will benefit without participating?

Can someone tell me why Lalbagh Kella is anything but a composed place to visit, why is it a hang out for couples who will most probably never get married, why does the place reek illegitimacy, why is it outlined by buildings with more than pathetic architecture that takes away everything that is worth staring at in lalbagh. A dirty 5 floor flat and it's grilled veranda hanging lungi and petticoats to dry right next to the red bricked neglected beauty called lalbagh. History standing in the middle of bad taste in the ignored part of town, where even the clerks and gate keepers of the kella have written their desperate messages in the historical walls, theirs weren't a claim of someone + the other but was in the line of "ekhane bosha nisedh" or "doya kore deyale likhben na." do I call this oxymoron, irony or just pitiable ignorance.

Can someone tell me why even the much hyped fuchka seems like a fake trend now a days, a pretense of trying to be simple and nonchalant, why is even vorta vaji the poor man's meal slowly becoming rich man's luxury. Why can't hypocrisy draw limits?

And most importantly can someone tell me why do I the unneeded critic, the wanna-be optimistic, the queen of half kept promises never fail to stand between contradictions, why do I want to find the hope of a slightly bitter and a mostly better future amidst many positive changes and major inconsistency in our good, old, sad, new and forever imbalanced and optimistic Bangladesh.




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