Martians
and Venusians on Earth
Srabonti
Narmeen Ali
A
wise man named John Gray once coined the phrase “men are
from Mars, women are from Venus.”
His theory states that thousands and thousands of years
ago men and women were from different planets. When they
discovered each other they realised how much they enjoyed
each other's company and then decided to come to Planet
Earth to make a life together. While this theory (when taken
in a literal sense) may send shivers down any archeologists'
spine, metaphorically it is worth taking a second glance
at. The fact is that (day in and day out) we find more and
more examples of how men and women can be categorised into
different species.
Looking at male-female behaviour in an every day relationship
(be it romantic or platonic) is probably a prime example
of how different we are. A popular opinion is that women
are constantly on an emotional roller coaster, and therefore
tend to let their feelings run away with them - or rathers,
allow themselves to run away with their feelings. A similarly
popular opinion is that men are unemotional at all costs,
and do not feel anything that may involve digging deeper
than who won the Cricket match, or what he is having for
dinner that night.
And there you have it. The roles are shaped, and a whole
new lifetime of misunderstandings are formed. It is true
that most women (at the risk of generalising) are more emotional
we like to refer to it as “being in touch with our inner
feelings.” Similarly, men are less emotional they like to
refer to it as “having control over their feelings.” Thus
the tug of war between “being in touch” and “having control”
begins, and over and over again we find ourselves wondering
whether we are in fact, from different planets.
In times of crises, it is often said that women cannot handle
the pressure. Some women cry, get upset and sometimes scream
out their frustrations. Men, on the other hand, tend to
stay quiet, not say too much and keep their feelings to
themselves. This stigma often causes problems. When we find
a man who cries, or gets upset, he is seen as weak, and
a wimp. When a woman stays quiet and does not react, she
is labeled as heartless. The truth is, the two genders have
different ways of dealing with their problems. Women find
it more therapeutic to talk over their problems, to get
it out of their systems to, for all practical purposes deal
with the problem, without running away. Men find it more
helpful to not react, and leave the problem on the backburner
until it dies down. Both ways can be effective, as well
as totally destructive. While it is important to deal with
your feelings, it is also important to give things time
before jumping right in and reacting accordingly. At the
same time, while waiting it out, one must not just forget
the issue and live under the misconception that whatever
problem is at hand will just work itself out.
In reality the stereotype of girls from the Barbie generation,
being made of “sugar and spice, and everything nice,” and
boys from the generation of action figures and wanting to
be the “tough guys,” carries on throughout our adult life.
It defines the way we react to things and how we form our
characters. Men are made to think that they must be the
macho man, in every situation, and that succumbing to one's
emotions only makes you weaker. Women, on the other hand,
feel that emotions make you sweeter, and more empathetic.
So which way can we go? Do we fall prey to our emotions,
therefore making ourselves more vulnerable, do we give the
impression that we are made of stone, without feelings,
or, do we find the middle ground? As much as men and women
grumble about each other, without the opposite sex, we would
have no balance. We would either have a world with too much
emotion, or none at all. Criticising the opposite sex is
a necessity: men say that women are emotionally unstable,
and women say that men are emotionally challenged. But at
the end of the day, it is pretty evident that Martians and
Venusians do complement each other, and help to set a balance
in an otherwise unbalanced world.