Dear Mita,
I'm a 26-year-old lecturer at a college. I feel stupid about myself. I fail to judge people and choose the wrong friends. Recently I met a man named Z who I thought was nice and broadminded. The way he talked, his interest in academics and so on impressed not only me but also my mother. I thought he could be a friend. But I came to learn that not only is he very clever and tricky but also perverted and that he only wanted to have a relationship with me to achieve his own selfish goals. I don't have a problem kicking him out of my life as I wasn't emotionally involved with him or anything. But I don't understand why I'm like this, at this age and in my position too. Why do I get tricked so easily by people? I'm a grown woman; how can people take advantage of my frankness and simplicity? How should I behave with people so that I'm not tricked by them in the future?
--DA

Dear DA,
You are a warm and trusting person. These are wonderful qualities to have, therefore do not get discouraged by some unfortunate incidents here and there. I am sure when the time is right, you will make the right choice. After all, if we truly believe that there are more good people in this world than bad, then chances are much higher for you to make the right choice. However, having said that, it is wise to use your best judgement in any given situation. The rule of thumb is that you should not rush into making decisions; make mistakes but learn from those mistakes and ultimately trust your instincts. I am sure you will be just fine.

Dear Mita,
I am a 3rd Year Geography and Environment student at the DU. I fell in love with a classmate a couple of years ago and did not tell her about it at first; then I realised that she might like me too. She responded to my proposal in a letter and we became very close. Unfortunately, she ended up getting married to one of my friends from another department. I'm happy as I couldn't have married her at this point anyway. But she has a sister also at the DU in the 1st Year and judging from her behaviour, I feel that she might also start acting like her sister. I feel trapped in a web of love for the two women. I'm very upset and can't concentrate on my studies. Please tell me what I should do.
--SZ

Dear SZ,
Your letter is not clear as to what your problem is. The first girl is happily married and is out of your life. You are now saying that her sister “might” act like her and that you feel “trapped”. First, there are not two women anymore. Secondly, you are presuming that the sister is interested in you. I think you are taking this too far and presuming too much. I do not see any reason for you not to be able to concentrate on your studies. What you should do is get both these women out of your head and make some new friends.

Dear Mita,
I'm 19 and studying at the DC. It's my dream to establish myself as a man of parts in English. But my brain is dull and I don't want to take any institutional help. How can I turn my dream into reality?
--SD

Dear SD,
I am sure your brain is not dull at all and if you try you can succeed in your dream. Just work extra hard. Read lots of books and the newspaper every day. Try to listen to the BBC news and other programmes regularly and speak in English whenever you can.