All for the power of pushing hei-yo!

Chintito

Mark McGwen has pushed a peanut with his nose for seven miles in eleven days from his Goldsmith College in London to 10 Downing Street as an appeal to the government to write off the 15,000 pound loan he had taken as a student. The White Hall did not react immediately to the application he submitted at the end of his arduous journey on all fours but Mark's effort got due publicity, except that we never found out who had the poor little peanut.

Stunt? Gimmick? Heck no! It's just a guy's way of saying, 'Look I am sorry, I can't pay and so here is one way of trying to make up'.

A lot of guys need to make up for their follies. While I am sure you can name a number of political leaders and civil administrators whom you would like to see pushing a peanut from Teknaf to Tetulia because of their big talk, negligence to responsibility, political infidelity and so forth (or back), to repay their loan to the nation, the problem is we cannot risk a guy alone with a peanut on the highway. Even if the perpetually un-punishable killer truck and bus drivers may not devour them out of sheer respect, halfway down the journey the perpetrator of the act may consume the very peanut, and thereby foil the whole exercise. With it being so close to his mouth it may become irresistible. We have seen them devour bigger objects at longer distances and in full public view.

Also, the idea of asking someone to push a launch from Hularhat to Sadarghat is out of the question mainly because it is not possible to push a vessel of that dimension with the nose, however big going by Pinocchio, even by someone whose finger helonee may be passing off as present day instructions.

Someone has suggested that those who are advocating that the law and order situation in the country is under control should be asked to push a .303 bullet (because it has no danger of exploding as it is that much outdated) with their nose from Zero Point to Kasimpur Central Jail. But there is one underlying danger and it is not they who are lying on their knees. In view of the police's praiseworthy performance (see recent newspapers report on Parliamentary Committee), they risk being arrested because a bullet being rolled on the road is highly perilous to the law and order of the country. And so they may be arrested on charges of possessing dangerous military hardware. That will indeed be some praiseworthy performance by the police.

Mexico's Cancun is also in the news, more for the wrong reasons such as the bullying diplomacy of USA and the Euro jote, and naked protestors spelling WTO with their bodies. What a sight! The USA and the Euro diplomats, I mean. It has been suggested that as punitive measures for conniving against bulk of the humanity, represented by LDCs, the Americans and the Europeans should be asked to push a seed back home with their nose. But the economically rich although emotionally poor have refused to undertake the feat because they fear if it rains on the way agricultural plants may sprout on soils of poor countries giving the latter undue trade advantages. Instead they may propose to push some more home-grown subsidised food grains at higher price to the countries already underprivileged in lieu of providing them guaranteed liberation from international terrorism. Iraq was different, they say and there was no guarantee attached to the deal. I feel like pushing a peanut myself.
Most of you of course would have liked to see former Pakistan cricket captain disgraceful Rashid Latif push a cricket bail with his nose from Multan to Faisalabad for cheating in the Third Test against Bangladesh, but that would also not have been feasible because he fled Multan even before Match Referee Mike Proctor meekly pronounced him persona non grata for five ODIs. Rashid deserved more for picking up the ball from the ground in broad daylight and shouting a howzzat.

Seriously speaking though, let us all root behind our country with utmost sincerity and give it a big push to heave it to newer heights. By 'us' I mean people from all walks of life, from the highest offices to the most humble of citizens. We don't even have to be on our knees, not even use our nose, and it's not even as small as a peanut. Jorse thelo, hei-yo! Laagse bataash, hei-yo!