Dear Mita,
I am in a great dilemma. I live with my in-laws and am totally different from them. They have very feudal attitudes, especially regarding the domestic help. The maids are grossly underpaid. My in-laws are very rich but extremely stingy when it comes to the servants. We have good meals but the servants are given only leftovers. I feel very bad about this but can't do anything to stop the injustice. I can't tell my mother-in-law anything because she wouldn't understand. Please advise me on what to do.
--AA

Dear AA,
You have cited a very practical problem and I am sure many reading your letter will relate to it. Perfectly nice families have very feudal attitudes towards domestic helps. This is difficult to understand because in most instances these same people are capable of immense generosity and sympathy. I have seen this in our mothers, aunts and uncles. You will just have to try and change their behaviour very gradually because any such comments will not be well received. You could also try and talk to your husband and ask for suggestions.

Dear Mita,
I'm a 24-year-old student. I completed my B.Sc. in Computer Engineering from AIUB. I soon will be going to Australia for my higher studies in Information Technology and already have my visa. I am in love with the aunt of a girl I used to tutor who recently completed BBA from NSU. I think everyone has dreams and she is my dream-come-true. Now she wants to go to Australia with me as my wife. The problem is that she is married and is an Australian citizen. My parents trust me very much and if I marry her they will be tremendously shocked. Neither of our families will take it well. I don't want to hurt my parents but I don't want to lose my love either. What should I do?
-Hesitate

Dear Hesitate,
I do not understand how she can go as your wife if she is already married to someone else. She will first have to sort out her first marriage problems before she makes plans with you. If you both are so serious about each other then ultimately your parents will understand and will give their consent. It is for you to be sure if this is the right person for you. Once this is certain, everything else will fall into place.

Dear Mita,
I'm a 18-year-old boy of Class 12 at Notre Dame College. I'm crazy about cricket and love watching it on television. There are cricket matches on television here every day. But my HSC exams are just around the corner and I can't concentrate on studying but rather watch cricket on television. I just can't avoid it. What should I do?
--T

Dear T,
Like you, hundreds and thousands of people including myself love watching cricket. We all have our passions for one thing or the other. This could be reading, cycling, singing or sports. However, there is a time and place for this and only becomes a problem when a disproportionate amount of time is spent on it. A hobby cannot become an obsession; if it does then you have to take steps to stop it. Allocate a certain amount of time for your cricket and stick to it as best as you can. It will not be easy in the beginning but I am sure with some self-control you will be able to do it.