Jokes

Lighting Up Our
Lives

Light bulbs
A factory foreman is walking through the work area, and notices that Kawolski isn't at his station.
He asks one of the other workers if they know where Kawolski is, and the employee points straight up in the air. The foreman looks up, and there's Kawolski, hanging by one arm from the rafters.

"Get down from there, Kawolski," he yells, to which Kawolski replies, "But I'm a light bulb!"

The boss is -NOT- impressed, and makes Kawolski climb down and get back to work.

About an hour later, the boss is walking through the factory once again, and once again he notices that Kawolski is missing. On a hunch, he looks up, and again sees Kawolski hanging by one arm from the rafters.

The foreman makes him climb down, and chews him out, saying that if he catches Kawolski up there one more time, he's going to get fired.

Another hour later, the boss is making another round, and sure enough... there's Kawolski, hanging by one arm from the rafters.

"That's it, Kawolski," he yells. "You're FIRED!"

Kawolski climbs down, and grabs his lunchbox. As he gathers his belongings, all of the other employees stop working, and begin to empty their lockers as well.

"What's going on?" the foreman asks. "The rest of you had better get back to work right now!"

One of the employees turns to the foreman and says, "Sorry boss, but we aren't working without any lights."

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Lines to live by (I-S)
*It's lonely at the top but you eat better.
*Multitasking means screwing up several things at once.
*Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.
*Never mess up an apology with an excuse.
*Never miss a good chance to shut up.
*Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
*Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
*No one is listening until you make a mistake.
*Oh Lord, give me patience, and GIVE IT TO ME NOW!
*Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
*Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
*Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.
*Quickly, I must hurry, for there go my people and I am their leader.
*Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
*Remember half the people you know are below average.
*Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
*Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
*Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.
*Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
*Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
*Support bacteria, they're the only culture some people have.

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