::: Star Weekend Magazine :::

Chintito

Some Messages have a Message

Chintito

These days there is fun in celebrating any big day Eid, Pahela Baisakh, Bijoy Dibash, Ekushey, English New Year… Everyone works hard; actually their fingers do, so that mobile phone companies can siphon more money out of Bangladesh, of course after giving this country some understanding money as part of a lopsided deed. And we Bangalees are historically renowned for fingering. It could be our favourite pastime. Perhaps BBC would take an initiative after polling for celebrated Bangalee and treasured song.

You may .. ting tang! .. receive a message on your cell phone from someone you would rather give a massage or one from someone you have not heard for maybe over a year. But what the heck? It's a joyous time, and frankly it does illuminate the night. That's when most of these.. ting tang!.. arrive two in the morning because that's about when the jam on the info highway gets unclogged. So does your doziness, if you are against the 'early to bed' adage.

You can receive some very ordinary ones from some very special persons and there will be the ones that will make you sit up. For instance, I received this about a fortnight ago. I sat up because it was in a foreign lingo.

Duaon ki bheer may aik dua hamari
Jis may mangi hum ne har khushi tumhari
Jab bhi muskurao aap dil se
Samjho dua qabool hoi hamari

Translated it means, I guess.
In this swarm of prayers, I have a prayer
In which I have prayed for all your happiness
Whenever you smile from within
Think that my prayer has been answered.

There was a long space after the sher and I had to scroll down to read the addendum, which said simply 'Shuvo Naba Barsho'.

That's something very few of us have tried mixing Urdu (or is it Hindi) with the Bengali New Year. Montobbo nish-proyojon!

I will also share with you the one I received on Valentine's Day yet another corporate-sponsored craze that is into eating into our values. The sms went thus:

Night and day, you are the one,
Only you beneath the moon and under the sun.
Wishing you Happy Valentine's Day.

That should have made my day; only that it was received at 1.15am and it was from a man. So am I? Need I say I could not sleep that night? I dozed off in the wee hours when the angels came and whispered, 'He must have only forwarded that message'. I hope so.

St. Valentine, by Western tradition, has been regarded as the patron saint of lovers. Valentine's Day is in admiration of lovers and dates back to ancient Rome, that's the era of Early Christianity, that's nearly two thousand years ago. And some card companies pop up from nowhere and convince us to buy and send cards to our loved ones and expect one in return in year 2000? We are in the company of some amazing people, and gullible ones too.

Some messages are hilarious and are sent by friends who want to brighten you up. Hear this one:

A police officer in NY pulled over a driver and informed him that because he was wearing his seatbelt he had just won $5000 in a safety competition.
'What are you going to do with the money?' the officer asked.
The man responded: I guess I'll get into a driving school and get me a license'.

A few are political:
Jote sarkarer unnati
Gharey gharey mom-batti

(Translated that roughly means: Success of coalition government, candle in every tenement)
Some can be sexist. This was sent by a male friend, more as a joke than anything.

Women are like internet virus. They ENTER your life, SCAN your pockets, EDIT your mind, DOWNLOAD their problems, DELETE your smile and HANG your life forever.
Then some are of the Q&A type:
Q. If the devil catches your wife what will you do?
A. You can do nothing. If the devil has made a mistake, let him face the consequences.

Women can get back too.
A person who surrenders when he is WRONG is HONEST. A person who surrenders when he is UNSURE is WISE. A person who surrenders EVEN when he is RIGHT is a HUSBAND.

Some are animated.
Last night I caught some stars. I gave them 2 my friend, so they'll know how sparklingly special they are 2 me! (Then I have to scroll down to read.) Catch! This 1 is for u.

The sms trading would never be complete without the sardarjees. I have great respect for them, but it's just that they have traditionally been the butt of some mind jokes. I am sure they do not mind. Just like when here someone leaves immediately after dinner, he is humouredly asked, 'Are you from Noakhali?' Rest assured not all of them are like that, and many from other districts obviously leave early, and that's why the query was born.

Santa and Banta are two sardarjee tourists. They were looking at an Egyptian mummy.
Santa: 'Look so many bandages, pakka truck accident case.
Banta: Yes, truck number bhi likkha hai, BC 1796.'

But, there are some grave messages, those that make you think, and make you wonder: is just sending an sms enough? Do we need to do more? A patriot sent me this one on New Year's eve:

Last night 10-year old Anwar was gunned down in Kansat. Let Pahela Baisakh be about him. Let's wear black, not white tomorrow. Let's not forget.