Enigmatic Reality a Waste
Human relationship is not easy. In fact, it is difficult. You think you know someone very well, and then, out of the blue (mark the colour, it symbolises grief) emerges the same person you are compelled to believe you do not know at all, or ever knew.
The interesting twist there is that you could be so absolutely wrong about your latter assumption, but by then the little drop of water on the banana leaf has tilted further towards the edge. It takes a lot of love on either side to freeze that wobbling bead on the slippery surface of life.
There are relationships we would die to save, and there are those that are better lost than have ever begun. Those that are supposedly worth dying for today [don't take that even half seriously, as nothing deserves that high a price] will for sure seem worth dumping come tomorrow. Seldom can the reverse also be true; that is, today's dumpable tomorrow assuming the status of jaan. But that too has happened. For love has its strange ways.
In relationships, the present appears all so very important that the future is lost even before it can begin. Look beyond today and you already are a happier person. To live is to be blessed.
Having so far generalised a theme that occurs so many times in one's life, several times each day, it is advisable to understand that every relationship is unique and different. It is not possible to judge the value of one friendship with the experience of another, sweet or bitter. There are so many parameters involved, hours of talk, denial, or occasional exchange of glances, misunderstood vibes, touches, rubs and snubs.
How does a relationship start? Obviously, with some sort of an attraction, fatal in many instances, though not literally so! No relationship is worth the bill that one pays to maintain it or the pill that one contemplates in taking, even if metaphorically so, when all of a sudden the coochie-coochie disappears.
You like someone for the way that person deals with life. Human speech has downed many a king. As have smiles. Even rebukes have drawn people close. There are mannerisms that one finds irresistible. One man's way of sharing a pizza may have found its way into a woman's heart, while another lady may find the same gesticulation too goody good-good. That is why Michael Jackson's 'I am bad' was such a hit. Or one could also quote Rabindranath Thakur's 'horribly good'.
The typical aspect (and danger) about a relationship is that you know about it only when it has developed to an extent wherefrom you either want to get in or come out, depending on how civilisation has manicured the path of further travel.
If the ambience is right for you to go ahead with the budding association, you are blessed. On the contrary, if you find further advancement perilous for either party, you can be sure it is difficult to give up. And so said Shakespeare: '... returning would be as tedious as go over'. You are, so to say, 'steeped in blood'.
It is not uncommon for humans to be scared of a relationship they want to nurture. The ones they want to kick may hurt the opposite number, but then that is in all probability a one-sided fling. But there have been occasions when people have picked up pieces they broke to pieces by ignorance or arrogance, or for sheer failure to appreciate cupid's knock on the door.
Most often, society, religion, culture, family and even the legal system, not in any given order, helps one to take a positive decision. Conversely, many potential relationships have been dealt with brutally by mainly the desire of a family (or any of its members) to hang its ego hallowed on a wall. The ones where heart rules over head are particularly hazardous.
In true love however there is never a head, only two throbbing hearts. One of those is the thinking heart and the other just wants to rush to his friends and make the big announcement. It may so often happen, and often it does, that a woman will do a lot of thinking and is practical (?!) about the whole affair. That is, a woman's decision to end a relationship based on the fact that the boy's uncle has no daughters is never understood by a man.
Discarding is intentionally made complicated by a woman, so that it seems there are many more reasons to the impending separation, and not the fact that she is simply no more attracted. Harder-to-get women have been eternally more desirable. Denial hurts his maleness. If a woman really wants to dust her hands without any fuss, coming on to her man with long-term proposals of marriage, babies and moving Amma it often does the trick. But, mind you, not always. Some guys love dozens of kids.
In the case of a <>tona<> who has lost interest in a tuni it is rather straight forward. He will only make it obvious that he is no longer fond of the pitha. He will just switch off all contact options -- phone, mail, common friends, visits or in case the sms was not loud and clear he will be seen out with another.
And that is why relationships are not easy to start, maintain or, as some of you will have found out, even lose.
Little wonder then, friends (Oooops! Are we starting something here?), the Love Canal is hardly what you think it is. Imagine what you will, but it is actually a region near Niagara Falls, which has been declared an official disaster area due to toxic waste pollution.
Copyright (R) thedailystar.net 2007