The jokes on you, or you

Chintito

Somehow, by some uncanny historical development, with a little help from some innovative, yet cruel minds of the opposite camp, some people, indeed an entire race or nation end up being the butt of all jokes.

The Punjabis take it in good stride, with Santa and Banta being perhaps the most popular sporting duo on the SMS circuit. The kid in that frame is known as Pappu. Here's one you may like:

Santa: What's difference between man & Superman?
Pappu: Man wears underwear under the trousers and superman wears it over the trousers.

Or… how about this one?

A Chinese was in hospital. Santa went to meet him.
The Chinese said "Ching Chong, Mou Chu Cha" and died.
Santa was shocked that he failed to understand the dying man's last words. So he went to China to know the meaning of the uttered sentence. He found out it meant, “You fool, lift your feet from my oxygen pipe”.

The next time lift your feet whatever the noise.

The Americans make a lot many jokes about the Iranians and vice versa, for obvious reasons. The Yankees, no offence meant, say that you know you are an Iranian if you dress up to go to the grocery store OR if you ask someone to marry you and they want to know if you own a house and a car OR if you have to shave more than once a day.

The Iranians may counter with this one: In the States some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to go home. You want it, you take it." For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked too good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50." The next day someone stole it.

Or, this one about the blonde! (I never understood why such pretty little things have to take so much.) She drove down in a convertible, but didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving.

Then there is this very famous projectile launched by the Blacks towards his White counterpart:
-Dear white fella! A few things you should know
When I born, I black
When I grow up, I black
When I go in sun, I black
When I cold, I black
When I scared, I black
When I sick, I black
And when I die, I still black.

-You white fella!
When you born, you pink
When you grow up, you white
When you go in sun, you red
When you cold, you blue
When you scared, you yellow
When you sick, you green
And when you die, you grey.

- And you have the cheek to call me coloured?

We have been told on the net about silly statements by Pakistani professors that do the round in parties, attended by only students, which could be true (!) for any other professor in any other party. Here are some examples (most probably the invention of some Pakistani) on how Pakistani 'professors' speak in English:
-Don't dare talk in front of my back!
-Both of you three get out of the class!
-Take 5 cm wire of any length!
-I have 2 daughters. Both of them are girls.
-All of you stand in a straight circle.
-Quiet! The Principal just passed away.
-Why are you looking at the monkey outside the window, when I am here?

The Bangalee also has his share of fun. The difference with the rest of the world and us in the sub-continent is that we don't have folks from many other countries making jokes about us; we are ourselves enough to cut each other to shreds.

Like this one you all probably have already heard; how in hell (the real one) each burning pot of boiling water (or whatever) holding people of different countries will have a lid covering it so that none can escape, but the one in which Bangladeshis will be boiling will have no cover. Reason? Well, if any one of us tries to flee, the others will all pull him down.

Allow me to conclude, fellow boiling-in-hell brethren, with one of my favourites:
A man rushed to Santa and announced, “Your friend is kissing your wife in your home.” One could see the fireballs blazing above Santa's head, as he raced to his home. But he returned within half an hour, still very angry, and slapped the man saying, “You fool, he is not my friend”.

WRITE TO CHINTITO <chintitoforever@gmail.com>

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