Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I'm 18 years old and having this wonderful relation with a guy of my age for two years. I honestly love him and so does he. We faced loads of problems and together we overcame those. But now a days, we are having problems of our own. During board exams, we both didn't use cell phones. We used to contact through T&T. As he is a guy, he doesn't like to stay at home all the time. So he often goes out with his friends and stays out for a long time. At first I didn't have any problems. But when he stays out for a long time and doesn't contact me I feel so worried. Being worried, I can't concentrate in my studies and this is causing a big issue. But when I tell him about it, he thinks I'm giving him bindings and he wants me to be like other girls who let their boyfriends be free. Well, I didn't give him any bindings. I just wanted him to give me a call for just one minute so that I can be sure that he's okay. I tried to tell him that I care for him that is why I get worried. I tried to make him understand how special he is to me. But he thinks I don't trust him. For this reason, we're breaking up and patching up every now and then. I don't want to lose him.
Very Frustrated

Dear Frustrated,
Please do not be too bothered about these things. Boys do not want to feel they are tied up to anyone, they love their freedom and like the feeling of being free. It is not that they don't care, they just have a different sense of freedom than we do. What ever you do, don't nag him. Try to be patient and rational. I am sure as you both grow older these problems will be sorted out. Also stop worrying about him so much. Try to make him feel special in different ways.

Dear Mita
I like a boy in my class (I am in Class 9) and really want to be friends with him. The problem is that I am very shy and don't really know how to interact with boys. In fact I don't have that many friends who are girls either. This boy is one of those people who are always very sure about themselves and everybody likes them. He is also quite cute and a lot of girls like him. I just don't know whether I should try to talk to him. What if he totally rejects me? Should I try to talk to him or just forget about the whole thing?
Shy Girl

Dear Shy Girl,
If you just propose friendship and nothing more than you have nothing to worry about. I don't think he will reject your friendship if it is sincere. I would say, go ahead and talk with him. Show your intelligent side, something that he will be attracted to. However, if he is a snob and rejects you then too bad, don't let it bother you. You are young and there will be many young men who will seek your friendship in future.

Dear Mita
I am an 18 year-old college student from a rural town. I know it is too early to have a relationship based on 'love'. But incidentally I did fall in love with my classmate and we have been together for almost a year. We are very serious about each other and decided we would get married after we are able to stand on our feet. But you know how it is in a rural town, parents are always anxious to marry off their daughters as soon after they are in their teens. My girlfriend's father has decided that he will get his daughter married off to his nephew after one or two years. So my girlfriend keeps insisting that we marry right after my H.S.C. exam without our parents' consent. Is there any way out without doing this and without convincing our guardians as they will most likely not agree anyway?
Immature Lover

Dear Immature,
I have said this many times before in my column. Parents can no longer force their children to get married, be it a boy or a girl. Both of you are young and getting married now is not a good idea at all. No matter what happens, please complete your studies. It will be a disaster for your future if you take a hasty step now and resent it later on. Explain to your girl friend, that she has to be strong if she really loves you and not put pressure on you to get married. Parents behave in certain ways because they think this is for your good, but they can be convinced otherwise.

Copyright (R) thedailystar.net 2009