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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I am a thirty -five year old woman, married with two lovely children. My husband is a really nice person and also quite caring. Everything is going well for us. But for some reason I get depressed and it just seems to weigh on me like a big boulder. I cannot explain it to anyone and I honestly don't know what is causing it. Perhaps it's because I feel I am getting old, I don't know. But sometimes I really feel like disappearing, as if there is no point in being here. Please tell me how I can get out of this emptiness.
Empty

Dear Empty,
I cannot understand the reason for your depression except that you are bored. You have nothing significant to do other than raising children and doing housework. This is obviously not giving you enough satisfaction. There is not doubt that lovely children and a loving, caring husband is the most important thing in a women's life but these are not the only things that can make a person happy and content. Perhaps there are unfulfilled aspirations which have remained unidentified till now. I suggest you have a frank and open discussion with your husband. Meanwhile, get involved in things outside the home and gradually start to think of a career. Remember your children will grow up and leave, your husband will get more and more involved in the outside world. You will feel the emptiness even more at that time. If this does not work then see a doctor, there is nothing shameful in getting counselling help in such times.

Dear Mita,
I am fifteen and have lots of Facebook friends. But my mother keeps asking me to show her their profiles. I feel she is intruding on my privacy. it's not that I talk to strangers or weirdos but she is always so suspicious and keeps hovering around when I am chatting. It just drives me mad. How do I deal with this?

Dear Teenager,
You know very well all the bad things going on in relation to chatting and facebook. Your mothers concern is justified as you are still young and at an impressionable age. Please try to understand your mother's concern before blaming her. She only wants the best for you and is trying to protect you from a world that she does not understand very well herself. Remember, there was no such thing as internet and the dangers attached to it when she was growing up. However, do talk to her and try to allay her fears. Share at least some of the profiles of your friends with her so that she feels confident that you are not getting into something unwelcome.

Dear Mita,
I think my older brother who is 18 is doing some kind of drug. He wakes up very late and goes out with a new set of friends who look like druggies. My parents have no clue about this but the other day a friend of mine said he saw my brother in an area where they sell drugs. He looks unhealthy and he doesn't interact with the family much. I don't know whether I should confront him or tell my parents.
Kid Sis,

Dear Kid Sister,
If you are close to him then why don't you talk to him? Before confronting or telling your parents convey to him your fears re concerns. If he denies then ask him to explain his strange behaviour or his unhealthy look. Don't accuse him but talk to him as you care. Telling your parents is always an option but I think you should explore other avenues before you do that. You may also see if there is a cousin or uncle that he might like to confide in. Your concerns are valid, as a sibling it is your duty to protect your brother from all harm. If it is indeed true that he is into drug then this must be addressed right away.