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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I'm a 28-year-old man. I lost my mother six years ago and have had a godmother since. She has two daughters whom I used to love and care for as my sisters. In the last two years, however, I have been falling in love with one them. My parents and relatives are pressuring me to get married and I don't know what to do. I can't think of anyone else as my life partner but I don't know if this is possible/right either. Is it?
Spider Web

Dear In a Spider Web,
The concept of Godmother is not common in our culture. Is she a close relative? If not then the relationship is more social and her daughters have been like your sisters but are not your sisters. It is difficult for me to understand what your family situation is but it seems there will be shock if you propose marrying one of them. Well, since there is no religious bar in marrying the daughter of a Godmother then you should talk about it with someone and assess the reaction of your relatives. Meanwhile, you have not said anything about how this girl feels about you and whether she reciprocates your feelings. A lot depends on how she wants to handle the situation. If this is a one-sided affair then you will certainly have difficulty in convincing your relatives.

Dear Mita,
I'm a 29-year-old woman. I have been married for three years. I love my husband but don't get along very well with my in-laws. They didn't want him to marry me in the first place because of differences in our family backgrounds and they're not happy with me now. I have a feeling that they think I might also be having an affair, or at least that's what they're hinting at. How can I deal with this situation? I don't want to lose my husband's faith and love and would also like my in-laws to like me. Help!
Daughter-in-law

Dear Daughter in Law,
If you and your husband have trust, love and respect for each other then no one can come between you. There are many families where there are problems with in-laws, however, when the relationship between husband and wife is stable and strong, such problems do not make a serious impact. You should talk openly with you husband about this. Moreover, it is audacious of anyone to accuse you of having an affair outside your marriage. This is an insult to your relationship with your husband and should not be tolerated. Regarding your in-laws getting to like you, well, you have to get the basics right. Find out their problem with you, prove them wrong and try to change their impression about you. I know this is a tall task, but many women have succeeded in doing this.