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    Volume 9 Issue 19| May 7, 2010|


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Write to Mita

Dear Mita,
I have known a good friend for about a year now. When I met him, he was in a relationship with someone else, and still is to this day. However, I have never had a friend quite like him. We tell each other everything, and I trust him with my life. I have always had feelings for him, but I pushed them aside because he was with someone else. Now, I can't help how prominent they are for me. I think about him constantly, to the point where I can't even breathe (I know that sounds cheesy and totally cliche). We talk a lot, although we don't see each other often because we go to different schools. I just don't know what to do. I am head over heels for him, but he is with someone else. He has been with his girlfriend, who is also his cousin, since he was 12 and she was 10 years old. If he wasn't with someone else, I would be convinced that he liked me too, because of the way he acts: tells me he likes me, lots of intimate talks, etc. Please help.
Broken

Dear Broken,
My advice is to get over him and make new friends. If he has chosen someone else there is little you can do. Thinking about him all the time is self-destructive and will not lead to anything positive. It will be difficult in the beginning but if you area determined you will be able to do it. Gradually distance yourself from him and, who knows, once you are gone he might realise that he cannot do without you and might even come back.

Dear Mita,
I am a 19-year-old university student. I have a very unusual problem. I feel like my friends no longer like me. They have all become distant with me and avoid me when they can. When I asked them why they are doing this they tell me it's all in my imagination. I feel very lonely and helpless. Please tell me what I should do.
Helpless

Dear Helpless,
There has to be some reason for such behaviour of your friends. Try to analyse what has changed in the last few years in terms of your behaviour or attitude or status. Otherwise, don't get too upset about these things. This is a part of growing up and will soon pass. Try to get at least one person who will be willing to be your friend. For that you have to be especially nice and accommodating. This way you will not be so lonely.

Dear Mita,
I'm a second year Engineering University student. I've been good friends with my sister-in-law's sister from 2006. Now I have fallen deeply in love with her but have not managed to tell her about my feelings. She and I are the same age and because of this, our relationship may not work out in the future. Her family wants her to get married soon and I will not be ready for marriage for a while. I really do love her and I think she feels the same way. Please tell me what to do.
A Confused Man

Dear Confused,
First try to find out if she has the same feeling for you. If she does then she will wait for you and not get married so early. In any case, both of you are not ready for marriage. This is the time to complete your education and build a career. Of course being in love is also a part of g rowing up but this should not be at the cost of other important things.

 


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