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    Volume 10 |Issue 24 | June 24, 2011 |


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If you do not hurt a person you dislike, you would have loved the whole of mankind


No self-respecting BUET graduate (?) would have lived off his wife's resources and be doing nothing, and yet you did just that; making all and sundry wonder aloud whether you had ever set foot on that campus. Till now none of your university colleagues (we doubt you have friends) have come with a statement claiming their acquaintance with you. Normally they would have, either as a united voice of abjuration against your inhumanity, or in your defence if there was an iota of goodness in you.

You then convert your unproductive fingers into stiletto and try to gouge your wife's eyes in a bid to kill her. But for the intervention of house attendants, you could have been charged with murder, and not attempt to murder; both portend the same verdict. Now she cannot see her daughter; your daughter.

You then go public on fallaciously accusing her of infidelity without any evidence when her overseas university friends of all shades and gender vouch in writing they found your that very wife to be committed to her family, (that included you, in case you missed the whole point) and her religion. Do you have any idea what punishment awaits those who lay false accusation on innocent people? Since it is extremely effective in mutilating the realities and to condemn the innocent persons, Islam has declared it to be the worst kind of falsehood and a crime. For those guilty of falsely accusing any person, Islam has decreed punishment in this world also, and it is difficult to imagine the punishment in the next world. The Messenger of Allah (pbuh) said, "He who, in order to find fault, says something about a person that was not there, Allah will throw such a person in hell till he tastes fully what he had fabricated." (Tibrani)

You then drop the bomb of 110 sleeping pills; by one media version you took it to commit suicide (yet another grievous theological and criminal offence). You would do service to your opposing species the human race by declaring the company that produced those sedatives so that children can have such 'useless' tablets as chocolates. One hundred and ten sleeping pills could kill a whole stable of horses

You will have noted that despite such uses by scores of people venting their anger in the media including blogs, I have withheld from equating you with any animal. (Sorry Tommy, I had to bring it up as a reference in context. Thank you Kitty, for being so understanding.) Honestly those glorious beings are well above your class. So why insult them?

I undertook to bring up a case of severe marital dissonance and the tragic consequence to convey to all quarrelling couples out there (some of you may even be reading this now) that hurting your one-time loved one is not the best way to end a marriage/affair/relationship. Ladies and gentlemen do it not acrimoniously but in polite agreement, especially if there are children involved.

Adult egotism displayed in vociferous (often physical) and ugly conjugal cacophony can leave a lifelong grievous dent in a child's body and mind, and the affected child will never forgive the parents that robbed her off a onetime childhood; they are supposed to be sweet, the childhood and the parents. Instead of going all out to teach your disliked spouse/ lover/paramour a good lesson, in such situations it is always best to learn a lesson, which is: a broken relationship is best left broken, either to heal or disintegrate totally in time; rattling it will only hasten the disintegration. If only for the child/children please discontinue if at all but in dignity.

They say marriages are made in heaven. By analogy, it is not necessary to make divorces hell. A relationship between two persons can go wrong and topsy-turvy at any time because of human fragility. Per chance if those two happen to be in wedlock the consequence is that much terrible, but mostly for the innocent actor and the worst victim watching the enactment of disengagement from the wings. Please bear a moment of selfless thought for the child you parented and brought up; it was not the choice of the child that you be the parents.

If you cannot stand someone, if you cannot live with someone anymore, however it may hurt, please do not hurt the person, just walk away, and start afresh, however difficult. There is so much to look forward to in life. Open your eyes and look around. Close them and listen; and breathe in the fragrance of divinity.

If life is unbearable with someone, that person does not deserve you. Both of you deserve someone else.

If you do not hurt a person you dislike, you would have loved the whole of mankind.



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