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Thought of the week:

"Every man must decide whether he will walk in the creative light of altruism or the darkness of destructive selfishness. This is the judgment. Life's persistent and most urgent question is 'What are you doing for others?"
-- Martin Luther King Jr--

I think I've attended more than enough weddings this season. Just the thought of all that greasy biriyani studded with chunks of meat makes me want to turn vegetarian. With Eid ul Azha and the inevitable meaty massacre underway, things aren't about to get any easier just yet. What I can't fathom is how certain people, usually the particularly horizontally-challenged Aunty-types, who are loudly bemoaning their growing waistlines and bulging tyres, can actually stomach so much food. If you want to know what I'm talking about, the next time you go to a wedding, or even when you go out visiting during Eid, keep your eyes open. "Bhabi, ar bolen na…etoo dawat, khete khete ja weight put on korechi!" (Bhabi, don't remind me of the weight I put on after eating at all these darn invites!) The ones most vocal with complaints of this nature are the ones with the biggest mountains on their plates.

Yesterday, I was out shopping, when I noticed this little street urchin prancing around the cars that pulled into the parking space of the shopping complex. The big, roly-poly ladies with their bulging purses (and bulging everything else!) eased themselves out of the cars and rolled past the little girl, some of them rebuking her for being a pest, and others probably not even realising she was there. Being in a mightily generous mood, I fished out whatever small change I had on me and gave it to the little kid. When she took the coins, her little face lit up, and I realised that she had probably never tasted biriyani in her life.

With that in mind, this Eid, if you're sick of red meat, if your freezers are screaming for relief, or if you plan to shed a few kilos, share with those less fortunate than you.

Here's wishing all my readers Eid Mubarak!

Send your polls, opinions, and queries to thegirlnextdoor1@hotmail.com or teteatete_tgnd@yahoo.com

By The Girl Next Door

How to lose a guy in 7 days Bengali style

Assuming that this guy has fallen for you and you want him out of your life, here are some steps you can follow to freak him out! This segment is nothing like the movie because it's added with some typical deshi masala that will send him crying to his mummy.

Monday: Suddenly appear at his door step wearing a lungi and a fotua!

Tuesday: First oil your hair till it looks soaking wet. Then go around telling everyone that no matter what they say, your boyfriend would love to touch your hair and you can prove it to them right there and then!

Wednesday: Before going on that date at some formal restaurant, eat plenty of paan to redden your teeth and lips. When asked why you did so, tell him it's because paan is cheaper than lipstick.

Thursday: Every time he tries to get really close, start hawking and spitting and tell him you're doing so because you are clearing your throat so that he can hear your soothing voice.

Friday: When having dinner at his place, lift one of your legs on your chair, eat with your bare hands (licking each individual finger every five minutes) and please don't hesitate to take seconds, thirds, and fourths backed up with comments such as " Boy, I love free buffets!"

Saturday: When he's having lunch at your place (and we all know that he will try to fight back for what you did the day before by constantly burping!), pour him a glass of water but instead of using a jug, use a bodhna!

Sunday: And if all the deshi jhatkas fail then do what women do all over the world to get rid of a guy. Tell everyone that he's your husband and watch him make a hole through that brick wall as he runs for his life!

By Shayera Moula


Jealousy is an emotion, if channeled properly can lead someone to the corridor of success, and is equally grave enough to destroy one's life.

Jealousy burgeons when one feels deprived, and aspires to have somebody else's advantages, possessions or achievements. It can be both positive as well as a negative human emotion, depending on how a person deals with it.

Everyone in the society craves to be revered, and appreciated, because it gives them a sense of importance. Adulation, and honor, from people can only be won through achievements, appearance, and often through wealth. So the ones with the cardinal qualities easily qualify for the attention, and the ones who fall short of the criteria frequently ends up becoming jealous of the other.

If a person is jealous of someone else's achievements, the person can deal with it in two ways. He might abhor, and might try to destroy the other person, or he might try to ameliorate himself, to be able to match, or even surpass the other person's achievements. If he chooses the latter, then the person will benefit tremendously from jealousy. It will give rise to a competitive spirit in him. He will be able to assay himself open-mindedly, and pinpoint his shortcomings. Then he can work on his lacking, and set his priorities accordingly. He will be setting up goals for himself, and will be trying hard to achieve them. In the process the person will develop mentally. Ultimately, he might not turn out to be the better than the other, but the things he will have gained, will have its results shortly.

The very sentiment can sometimes be very damaging. Quite often many are jealous of others affluence, or even appearance. It affects one deeply. It makes one feel little giving rise to inferiority complex. The feeling of being inferior to someone usually leads to the mental disease of depression, which abrades one's soul gradually. It inspires great aversion, and animosity.

The jealous person becomes animus to the person whom he thinks is more privileged. It often leads the jealous person to plot calculative, malicious swindles to destroy, abash, or abase the other. In the attempt, very rarely does the jealous person succeeds, but sure does losses mental satisfaction, and is often stripped of the dignity, which he used to possess once, when the plot becomes public. So, the emotion has strong destructive aspects too.

Jealousy in delicate relationships such as love can be fatal. Albeit, the emotion in such cases usually derives from strong affection, ends up in weakening the bond, which binds the relationship, trust. It might even lead to a break-up.

Considering the various aspects of jealousy, it becomes evident that jealousy can be beneficial as well as derogatory. If used positively, then the emotion can be very rewarding, but, if used negatively it can be have a very malign affect.

By Sartaj Ahmed Khan Mojlish

RS Mailbox

To the Editor,
Being a follower of Rising Star for a long time, I would like to say your book review column is simply fantastic. I really feel disappointed though when I don't see the column every week. People these days have seem to forget how a book can be great company sometimes. It not just enlightens our mood but also provides us with immense amount of knowledge. Rising Stars is really keeping up the spirit of reading.

This is regarding the article on NIRVANA in this week's edition of the RISING STARS. Organised Confusion has stated that the band started off with the line up of Kurt Cobain(guitars, vocals), Chris Novoselic(bass), Dave Ghrol(drums).

Actually Nirvana started off with Cobain and Novoselic and with Chad Channing as the drummer. Dave Ghrol joined the band much later, whereas the writer of the article said that he was one of the founding members.

In the sleeve of their first album titled "Bleach", Jason Everman was credited as the second guitarist but he did not play in that album, he helped Nirvana around on tour and later left the band and went on to join Soundgarden and then Mindfunk. Organised Chaos is notified about this.
Best regards,

By Zahin

Shout out

Hey people!!
Happy New Year to all our readers and correspondents! You have all been great this past year, and I just hope you all keep writing in to me as frequently as you do. There was a lot of technical difficulties (more like exam difficulties for yours truly) and this might carry on till may, but keep writing in, and I will try to post your messages as frequently as possible for me. Write to shoutout13@hotmail.com or shout13@gmail.com and enjoy the column.

Having problems finishing GTA San Andreas? No problem, just email me about your predicament, and maybe I can help. If it is about a mission, make sure to tell me its name and what you have to do in it. The address: t_ar_eq89@yahoo.com

I am dying to know if you are alright and everything is ok or not. My prayers are always with you. If possible just let me know that you are alright and are doing fine. I am always and forever, the same.
Take care, Shona Pakhi

Ayyo ReZ,
Happy birthday! Bon aniversaire francois!
The Crew

By Crucified

This column is NOT responsible for any negative (or otherwise) outcome of the messages printed in it. Please do not abuse the column by using it to play pranks etc. Also, all email addresses will be printed at the reader's expense and we do NOT take responsibility any inconvenience to anybody.]

Cracks and Cornies

Doctor: How are you doing with those pills I have you to improve your memory?
Patient: What Pills?
Q. 1 What do you call a creature with 7 eyes, 3 noses, 4 years, and 5 mouth?
A. UGLY ! (What else?)
Q. 2. What does a pig use to write his letters with?
A. Pen and Oink!
Q.3. What do you get if you cross a sheep and a rainstorm?
A. A wet blanket.
Q4. What did the young porcupine say to the cactus?
A. 'Is that you, Daddy?'
Q. 5. What do frogs drink?
A. Croaka Cola!
Q. 6. What do you say to a Hippopotamus on his birthday?
A. Many HIPPO Returns!
Q.7. What happens when pigs fly?
A. The price of bacon goes up!!
Q.8. What did one eye say to the other?
A. Between you and me something smells!
Q.9. What did one ear say to the other?
Between us, we could do with a haircut
Q.10. What goes Zzub-Zzub?
A. A bee flying backwards!
Ally: Why are your hands so soft, mummy?
Mom: 'cos daddy does all the washing-UP!
Did you Hear About..
…the jockey who took hay to bed with him to feed hid night mares?
…the spider who stopped spinning webs because it lost the pattern book?
…the farmer who gave hot water to his chickens? They laid hard-boiled eggs!

By Ananya Ankita Das Gupta

Ode to the Qurbani Khashi

(To the rhythm of 50 cents' "In da club")

Hey mutton
It's Qurbani
We're gonna chop you like it's Qurbani
Mince your meat up like it's Qurbani
And hey! there's no saving you
Coz it's Qurbani
At the slaughter I will stand, machete in my hand
I've been paid to knock you off, coz they'll gimme half a grand
We're gonna bleach your bones, and your hide will get tanned
And you're gonna be rezala instead of getting canned

By Mr. and Mrs. Koshai


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