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The week in re(ar)view

End of a corrupt era, beginning of another?
Regime of former government ended 27 October amid much fanfare. It was a party that the country will not forget …….for at least a month. People from all walks of life attended the major bash. And yes, it was a bash of the highest order. Initially it was a one-dish party but the people were so enthusiastic that some even bought several dishes. The party ambience was created by making barbeque pits that looked like burning cars, rickshaw, motorcycles and buses. Then there was the addition of smoke and gas creating the ultimate outdoor club effect.
Menu consisted of bricks, sticks, stones, knives, bats and bullets. Cocktails were a favorite dessert.

With such a huge turnout on the streets, cops of all colours (teal, black, you name it) came out to maintain law and order. It was loud, raucous affair with plenty of fireworks. Some people were so touched by the joy they were experiencing that they cold not stop shedding tears. More than 20 people had so much fun that they decided living on this mortal world was not worth it anymore. Thousands of others enjoyed the party so much that they had to overload the hospitals due to indigestion from swallowing too much beatings and bullets.

New party formed as old reign dissolved
Former president AQM Badruddoza Chowdhury and Col (retd) Oli Ahmed, close aide of BNP founder Ziaur Rahman together formed a new party as old party (BNP) had to give up. They gave resignation letters stating that it is impossible to carry on as a people of conscience considering BNPs activities. They termed BNP rule as a dual rule under Khaleda Zia and her son Tarique Zia that broke all records of corruption.

Awami League wants to carry on the agitation that was temporarily suspended since last Tuesday and more is expected to flare up tomorrow.

Ziaur Rahman and Sheikh Mujibur Rahman must be turning in their graves now. Two great men started two great parties but unfortunately that's where the greatness ended.

Inventing new lame excuse catch phrases
On 26 October, The Daily Jai Jai Din suspended publication stating 'some problems with generator' Umm, why can't they make use of the readily available intermittent electricity in our country. To us it sounded like other famous excuses such as 'heart attack' and 'crossfire'. We will add this to our certified bestseller called 'Greatest Lame Excuses”. Bangladesh will finally be able to contribute once again to international literature.

Jai Jai Din started publication on June 6 this year and ended up terminating 104 journos and staff on 26 October. Funnily coincides with end of BNP rule. You can draw your own conclusions but before you do so, here's the actual conclusion.

Shafik Rehman, editor of Jai Jai Din, was trying to leave the country. Apparently his lame “generator excuse” didn't generate enough time for him to make his escape. Saddest of all is that he even had five tickets for different airlines so he could take whatever was available. Talk about contingency planning. Unfortunately the newspaper staff arrived at Zia (its their job to find info) and stopped him. Cases were filed, even an Emirates plane was forced to offload the hapless editor.

The journos claimed the editor was leaving without paying their dues. The story now is that he was leaving on an emergency basis for “medical reasons”. I think we can add that to our list of excuses. Of course, if all this turns out true on the editor's behalf, we can use another tried and true excuse. We printed all this due to “technical difficulties”.

Statement of the week:
Senior Joint Secretary General (whatever that means) Tarique Rahman of BNP told journos that force can be applied to ensure peace. Right! We have people fighting and dying and then we should bring in some more violence. This is not math where violence on two sides of an equation cancel each other out. Apparently Tarique Rahman believes in fighting fire with a blazing inferno. Peace is war.

By Gokhra and Mood Dude

Halloween horror-scope

Aquarius (Jan 20-Feb 18): This Halloween looks to be a scary one for you. But before you go around crying, "Ooooh, I want my mummy! I want my mummy!" think about this: You want more loving, right? Well, if you run around like a scaredy-cat, you will, to quote the raven, "Neverscore."

Pisces (Feb 19-Mar 20): Vampires are evil, hypnotic people who will emerge in the night and drain you. Sounds like someone I used to date. You need to be careful because you may have closed the metaphoric coffin lid on a relationship, only to find that this person will rise from the graveyard of your heart to worm their way back into your life.

Aries (Mar 21-Apr 19): You've got to pick up every stitch this Halloween because, unless I miss my guess, it must be the Season of the Witch. That is truly the most horrifying thought you can be faced with this Halloween.

Taurus (Apr 20-May 20): Sure, you ladies have been looking for some loving. But you don't want to go for just any Tom Dick and Harry. And heaven help you go for any Jack you find, especially when that Jack is some hollow-headed grinning gap-toothed idiot. But then again, despite his weird exterior, if you look inside, you'll see a flame burning bright.

Gemini (May 21- Jun 20): What is truly scary? A werewolf? A werewolf is not so much a horrible half-man half-beast as a chronic under-shaver. A headless horseman is just the victim of a particularly bad hair day. In much the same way, you can find the brighter side of anything that comes your way, no matter how horrific or annoying.

Cancer (Jun 21-Jul 22): Scary is relative. We don't just mean your crazy relatives who threaten to come visit for six weeks, but rather the idea that whereas a movie with monsters made out of cardboard boxes and paper mache may have been the scariest thing you'd ever seen when you were eight, it now looks silly. You must get over your initial fears of a new project or relationship; although it seems insurmountable now, if you stick with it, you will eventually be able to overcome it.

Leo (Jul 23-Aug 22): Frankenstein's monster was, of course, made out of the parts of a couple dozen other people, which must have been hell when it came to custody hearings. Nothing's more awkward at a family reunion than having one-tenth of Cousin Harry show up at the buffet. You, too, feel like you're being pulled in twenty different directions, but you'll soon receive the jolt you'll need to get on your feet again.

Virgo (Aug 23-Sep 22): Pity the poor skeleton who wanders around on Halloween, looking so unfashionable in all-white a full two months after Memorial Day. Of course, he can't help it, and he is actually successful in the love department; after all, he is "ribbed" for her pleasure. This week you'll find that you attract more flies with honey than even dead zombie flesh, and being inherently nice to the opposite sex will make them flock to you like vultures to a skeleton.

Libra (Sep 23-Oct 22): You think you're being slick, but the truth is that you're like a ghost; people can see through you, and all the noise you're making is more effective scaring small children and dogs than actually doing anything. It's time to leave your old haunts and take care of that grave matter that's all your vault.

Sagittarius (Nov 22-Dec 21): Boo! Scared ya!

Capricorn (Dec 22-Jan 19): You're in the zone this week! The Twilight Zone, that is, and it's going to be a creepy thrill ride with an incredibly ironic twist at the end Don't let the creepy situations you get yourself into this week get you skittish. Let them get you Skittles; why not go Trick-or-Treating? It's fun to dress up, get given stuff, and not have to give ten percent to a big guy named Huggy Bear. And Halloween candy doesn't count as calories!


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