The week in re(ar)view
Jewellers are facing a slump in sales as the price of gold has reached the highest in 28 years. Even at this peak season for weddings and romantic liaisons, gold is not selling much.
Muggers on the streets are deeply saddened at this turn of events. When we went to interview them in this regard one mugger stated, “We are deeply saddened at this turn of events.” We promptly gave him all our valuables so that he would feel better. In return he removed the knife from below our throat and stabbed each of us just once.
With the soaring prices of gold, people planning to get married are looking for alternative items of similar value. Currently, food items are almost close to the price of what gold used to cost before.
Inflation rate on food items has increased in August, it stayed up through Ramadan as expected and went up further post-eid as unexpected.
You could possibly give new brides gallons of cooking oil and other food items as wedding gifts.
Money for your identity
According to the rules, a citizen will have to pay Tk 30 for a permanent paper-laminated card and Tk 40 for a copy of that card, Tk 250 for a plastic card and Tk 500 for a smart card--a small plastic card on which information is electronically stored.
What is of great interest is the phrase ‘smart card’. It conjures images of cards that can transform into everything. Considering our country and its culture, the smart card could come equipped with a torch light and mini-fan for load shedding situations. And it can be made of edible materials so it can be eaten up when the ID expires preventing any pollution from thrown away cards. Now that’s smart!
Officials involved said these rules will be formulated once the mandatory use of national ID card for getting services in 19 fields is made a law.
These cards will be required for things like getting a driving license, passport and jobs even. Registered voters will be given temporary national ID cards, which will be replaced by the permanent cards.
By Gokhra and Mood Dude
10 things we learn from Bangla cinema
Disclaimer: the writer of this piece is insane after watching a number of typical bangle cinema.
1. It always rains when the heroine wears a semi see through white saree. Conversely, whenever it rains, the heroin wears a semi see through white saree and walks bare feet in the street.
3. Bad people (villains) always wear wigs.
6. A hero can throw a villain or his pati gundas (pet goons) miles away with just one of his punches.
8. Jumping up or down 10 storey buildings is no problem at all.
By Monty Python
Actual stupid questions asked
The below excerpts appeared in the Salt Lake Tribune. They were taken from real court records.
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything about it until the next morning?
Q: What happened then?
Q: Did he kill you?
Q: How many were boys?
Q: Were there any girls?
Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
Q: Apparently then, the date of conception was around January 12th?
Q: What were you doing at that time?
Q: How many times have you committed suicide?
Q: A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of unleashing a stupid question, interrupted himself and said, "Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next question."
Q: And Mr. Huntington was dead at the time, is that correct?
The author who wrote what's possibly one of our most favourite series
She said this when she was asked by the fan if their Hogwarts
The two thousand fans who were present were initially stunned, but
I personally wish she hadn't added this bit about a wizard we all
One summer evening, during a violent thunderstorm, a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?”
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said, "I have to sleep with Daddy." A long silence was broken at last by a shaken little voice saying, "The big sissy."
Public Defender: I'm sorry, Your Honor, what did you say? I wasn't listening.”
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