Home   |  Issues  |  The Daily Star Home | Thursday, November 8 , 2007

By Reggie

Everyone knows what bunking is, right? For people who don't, such as blissfully unaware parents, bunking means avoiding classes. Or not doing classes. Or sneaking out of classes. Whatever you mean by it. Create your own definition.

The classes generally means school classes but has now been broadened to include coaching as well. After all, with so many kids doing so many coaching they have become like afternoon schools without the regal formalities of course.

The average kid starts bunking class when he/she is in class 9 when starting O-Levels. O-Level means you get to choose your own subjects, so naturally in all schools there are plenty of free periods. To a student who has been bullied under the 6 hour straight class system for almost all eternity, this unexpected array of school time, which one can spend anyway they wish, is like a huge bonus.

What unimaginable possibilities are there for spending one's free period! You could chat up to your crush, if you are the chatty type. Or you could just stare at your crush if you are the idiot type. If you are the sporty type you could simply spend the golden forty minutes playing table tennis, basketball or whatever it is your school offers you. Or like most kids you could just spend the time addaying over meaningless issues like how great a vocalist Jonathan Davis is or criticizing some poor teacher's walking and hairstyle. However like all ajaira things this habit of lazing about become addictive and very soon non-free periods are bunked to get some extra hanging out done.

Bunkers aren't your plain idiots too. Well they are, but they do know the bunkibility of the classes. If they don't, they are rapidly caught and put to sword. Bunkers mainly bunk:

If you think RS articles are useless, you are wrong. Some classes are so meaningless and useless that there is no point going there at all. I shouldn't be saying this, but sometimes the teachers are so bad or so incompetent or so plain lazy that nothing is done, whatsoever. At the end of those classes you feel as if you have made a major waste of your time. The only reason why the classes should be done is because it's a school rule. But hey is that ever really that strong an incentive?

And for those classes where rather serious studying goes on, umm…frankly those classes are very boring and so no one really likes to do them. After all who can possibly get through forty minutes of monotonous brain drains? Consequently, such classes are popular in the 'bunk' list.

And for the classes of the ultra-strict teachers who is going to literally “tear you apart” (mischievous grin aimed at all Scholasticans) those classes are never ever bunked, despite the fact that either they may be the boring or the no study being done category, in fear of mortal peril. Sadly and quite naturally those teachers are hated and cursed at like anything. In the end, nothing is done on those classes anyway apart from all the hating and cursing.

Now why would people bunk classes, when we have literally billions of free time hours in their hands? Why would they deliberate go out of their way to break and bend school rules and risk failures amidst a lot of trouble? It's because of three chief reasons. Read up all you school authority-people, I am doing you a favour:

1) Peer Pressure
Haven't you ever heard of the fact that bunking is hot and doing classes is not? Anyway's bunking seems to prove your guts, sense of adventure, bravery blah blah blah and all that bull. So to prove it, kids often bunk until it become, umm… well, a habit. However, sadly it seems, major non-bunkers are quickly branded 'nerds'. As stupid as this sounds, who would want to be called that?

2) Love Pressure
A major reason for bunking is because of love. Quite often by cruel ironies of destiny our resident lovebirds are stranded in different sections with different free periods. Even if they spend all the time together, how can they not spend the forty minutes when they know that one of them is alone and pining for the other? (No sarcasm implied, seriously!) So the remedy I propose to the school is a novel one and unlike the game theory, helps out both sides: Make sure the lovebirds are in the same section. This way you prevent bunking and you make your students happy. PERFECT!

3) Adda…
Self Explanatory
And how do kids bunk? That's kinda easy, right? Infact it's the easiest thing to do. But what happens when you get caught? These are the most famous excuses:
1) “Sir, I came late in school.”
2) A certain friend of mine uses this with great effect- “Sir I was in the office.” The effect is enhanced by the fact that this particular friend is a prefect and everyone knows that there is nothing as important as 'office' work.

3) “I had volley ball/basketball /badminton…etc practice.” This excuse is also damn effective. However, watch out. Usually, it is used by people when there is actually a practice or a tournament going on but the person is either not in the team or has never even played the sport. It works though, unless the teacher is smart enough to check out with the games teacher. But chill, teachers are neither that concerned nor that active.

4) “I was stuck in the elevator for 10 mins. After that I tried to take the stairs but I was stuck because of the pouring masses of little kids scrambling down to the cafeteria. This wasted a further 10 mins. After a further five minutes I realized that I had wasted about 60% of the class. So I ask myself what was the point of doing half a class. I would be disturbing everyone and my shameless entrance would spoil the academic environment created by your fine teaching. So I decided to do everyone a favor and bunk the rest of the class.” Trouble believing it. This was actually used but well, as you can guess…didn't work.

5) “Madam, I have ulcer and had stomach ache. For this I had to go to the cafeteria and have lunch…otherwise 'durghotona hoye jeto'.” This one often works. Seriously!

There are many other excuses. Adapt, be clever and smart. Remember bunking classes is not really a smart thing to do. But it is stupid if you don't bunk classes once. Look at it as a little pleasure of school life. But don't get caught and the only way to make sure that happens is to continue acing your results.

Remember if you bunk selectively, not get caught and make sure your report card shows good grades… its okay. Just don't go overboard.

Disclaimer: RS strictly prohibits bunking (unless it is a Thursday and you want to read your favourite magazine).



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