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Weird news not weekly

It was hard to iron it down to a few weird news with all the weird things happening, thus the hiatus of this piece. The election storm yielded so many weird stuffs that it couldn't be counted. 'Free and fair' was the cry all over and that was weird. Of course we could vote for free….the fair deal escapes most though. But, hey stories show everyone's corrupted anyway, so let anyone take the reigns. The future votes today, but soon the past will have to vote for us. Till then, forget it about and let's see what's weird.

Divorce+Kidney=Much Money- Women can't usually be trusted or ever pleased. No matter what you do. Dr. Richard Batista learned this the hard way. After generously donating his kidney to his wife in 2001, in order to 'help her health and re-ignite the fire in their marriage', he was left heart-broken when she asked for a divorce in 2005. Apparently she had fallen in love with someone else and though he donated a kidney she had donated her heart elsewhere. That's the pickle but wait! There's more to this. Now, Dr. Richard Batista, New York's most popular one-kidney doctor, wants $1.5 million as a payment for acquiring his kidney. He has threatened to take his wife to court. This spokeswoman for some Organ Donation Organization is stumped as she has never heard of something like this before. Judges are stumped and so are potential jurors. Everyone claims to have never heard of such a thing. Hmmm…sounds familiar though. Replace kidney with heart, repeat procedure.

Kung-Gu Gu- You all must have heard of Kung-Fu Panda right? He could kick arse and he could be cute. And you know how pandas are cute right? Well try telling that to Mr. Zhang, an unfortunate soul who ventured into Gu Gu the panda's cage in order to retrieve a fallen toy. Jumping over the some 1.4m barrier, he tried to grab the toy but Gu Gu grabbed his legs first and bit right into him, refusing to let him go. Zoo officials used tools to pry Gu Gu's jaw open and release the man. He is now suffering from major ligament damage and stuff. The weird thing is, this apparently cute panda, has bit a drunken man who ventured in his place to hug him and has also previously beaten up a teenager when Gu Gu found him lurking in the Panda's open exercise zone. Gu Gu is on a man beating rampage. First we take his natural habitat, turn that into apartments, then we put him in a cage and then we try to get in there too! No wonder he is pissed off! Well, this angry bear hasn't received restraining orders yet but Zoo Officials are quickly searching for a better solution. Moral? Pandas maybe cute but stay the hell away from them! More bad news for Mr. Zhang, by the way, because now he may be possible facing criminal charges. For trespassing and getting bit…tough luck.

Revenge of the squirrels- So this cottage, build around 1980, suddenly caught fire a few days back. Located in a tranquil place in Kent, no could figure why anyone would want to burn the cottage. Well, turns out someone wasn't responsible for the arson, rather it was something. Lord Mayhew, the proprietor of the ravaged cottage, found the culprits and immediately began the finger pointing. The fire was fought by firemen(duh) for two hours and when the flames receded and extinguished, the reasons were revealed. Something had chewed through one of the electric cables which led to vicious spark turning into FIRE. Lord Mayhew placed the blame on the squirrels. We couldn't reach the Head of Squirrel to discuss this matter further, but it is known that the squirrel community is not pleased with these unfound accusations.

That's pretty much the deal next week. For more weird stuff watch this space or peek into a mirror. Whatever makes ya happy! Rampaging pandas, not-rigged elections, kidney sellers, broken hearts and fiery squirrels makes up all the news for this week. Another week means more weird possibilities. I look forward.

By Osama Rahman

Math Box

The Curious Lady

In Greek mythology, Pandora was the first woman on earth. Zeus ordered Hephaestus, the god of craftsmanship, to create her and he did, using water and earth. The gods endowed her with many talents; Aphrodite gave her beauty, Apollo music, Hermes persuasion, and so forth. Hence her name was Pandora, the "all-gifted" one. When Prometheus stole fire from heaven, Zeus took vengeance by presenting Pandora to Epimetheus, Prometheus' brother. With her, Pandora had a jar which she was not to open under any circumstance. Impelled by her natural curiosity, Pandora opened the jar, and all evil contained escaped and spread over the earth. She hastened to close the lid, but the whole contents of the jar had escaped, except for one thing which lay at the bottom, and that was Hope.

There are many variations on this popular story. Some versions say that Prometheus captured all the bad things and put them in a box. He then gave the box to his brother for safekeeping. Pandora found it and opened it, thus releasing all the bad things. Other versions say it was Epimetheus who opened the box, not Pandora. Some variations say all the good things of the world were inside the box, just as they were inside humans. When Pandora released the good, it left humans as well. The only thing that stays forever is hope, because Pandora managed to capture hope before it flew from the box as well. So today, even when the going gets really tough, every human still has hope. Hope is what keeps us alive.

By Nishita Aurnab

God Games

Desire at this time was not really a relevant matter. Nor was anything else. In the face of the task that lay before there was no room for human emotions, or human sentiments- they cause human error. A possibility, definitely, but one that I would not allow. Gods are like, in many ways, human. That's because gods, in many cases are created by humans. When they say that sometimes belief can move mountains, they underestimate.

The focus stones shifted within me. There was the matter of Chaos to be sorted out, at first. But, Chaos was old. And he was indifferent. He let me pass, to my monumental relief. And then came the matter of Entropy. That was infinitely easier. A bit too overzealous in my opinion. But, I wasn't complaining. All I had to do was ask. And soon after, everything else simply fell into place. The elementals were reluctant at first, but the prospect of a home for yet a few billion years? Even they couldn't pass up such an offer. Homeless entities that were more parasites than anything else.

Everything started to make a kind of sense, and when that happened, the Universe came into being. Eager to home everything there was, I found her to be charming, but she never seemed to stop...

By Emil


Sitting alone amidst everyone,
Responding to them without any motion.
Sitting alone on a cheerful day,
Pondering over the things coming in the way.
Sitting alone gazing at the sky,
Foolishly asking myself the reason to “WHY”.
Sitting alone counting the stars,
Brushing away the tears now leaving the scars.
Sitting alone under heavy shower,
Recalling the memories we had one hour.
Sitting alone with a pen in my hand,
Pouring my heart out, with a wish of forgetting the pain.
Sitting alone thinking just about a few,
Want to sit ever alone now,
Perhaps that's how I can spend some moments again with you.

By Raziel





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