Home   |  Issues  |  The Daily Star Home | Thursday, January 06, 2011

Dhakaiya Gangsta Yo!

By Ero Senin

The Dhakaiya Gansgta is not very easy to distinguish from other normal Dhakaiyas. The first lesson of being a Dhakaiya Gangsta is to mix in with the normal people and act from the shadows. But there are a few noticeable facts about him that make him unique from the ninjas. For one, he has a protruding belly, built up from his daily outings in his vehicle (for more information, see the next entry). He wears a lungi (Onushondhan lungi: Tin Purusher Lungi), a checked one, always. To cover his upper body he sports white genjis, or a checked full shirt. In winter, a sweater is seen. More information on his preference towards lungis over pants can be found in His Lifestyle section. He talks in a thick accent, particularly when he engages in a verbal argument.

His accessories:
Toothpick (a WHOLE LOT OF THEM), a mini comb, Frutika, energy drinks (for sale as his side-income) and a towel (more like a gamcha).

His Ride:
When he first came to Dhaka, he used to pull a rickshaw. He has moved up on the food chain since then. Now he drives a battery-powered rickshaw, or a Moyuri. On a few Fridays, he can be seen driving a CNG-run auto-rickshaw and denying every passenger a ride until he finds some eye-candy or a promise to pay triple the fare. But he usually tries to avoid CNGs. They put pressure on his abdomen. Speaking of which, the constant sitting job made his tummy extend forward at an exponential rate. Told you, you'd find info about his belly.

His Lifestyle:
The Dhakaiya Gangsta passes most of his day on the streets of this city. And this city doesn't have many official and authorised places where the public can respond to the call of nature. But when you got to go, you got to go. The Dhakaiya Gangsta understands these facts, and so he prefers wearing a lungi.

His breakfast, lunch and afternoon meals are all taken care of in roadside Meghna Hotels, although he has some Meghna Hotels he likes over other Meghna Hotels.

The Dhakaiya Gangsta absolutely loves betel leaves or paan with jorda, choon and supari with occasional khoyer.

His back-story stories:
1. “I lost everything when the erosion from the river ate away my home. My parents died leaving me to pay their debts. I came to Dhaka to earn. I was young and innocent and foolish enough to get taken in by some hoodlums and they made me do bad works. I am innocent.”- He said as he pleaded his case in the police interrogation. It didn't help as he landed in jail for three months in two different stints. This story is fake of course.

2. “I was bored and hungry. I saw an opportunity and grabbed it. Besides Bilkis said she liked men who can buy her Coke,”-is the real story we found out after extensive investigations. By the way, Bilkis is his sweetheart. He wrote her name on the trunk of a tree in Ramna Park inside a heart-mark.

His hood and recreation:
The Dhakaiya Gangsta and his cronies (mates, fellows, sub-ordinates, friends, homies) enjoy healthy entertainment near their safe houses and hoods. Shakib Khan, Dipjol and Rani Mukherjee are their favourite performers and they watch all of their cinemas with rapt attention. They also enjoy the occasional cricket matches and have fun fighting over their political views. Oh, they love snakes and ladders and carom.

His Music:
He doesn't rap. He likes the songs sung by Momtaz. Especially her “Nantu Ghotok” number which tugs at his heart-strings. He also plays the banjo. He listens to radio in his free time and shakes his head at some Hridoy Khan beats.

His awesomeness level:
He is pretty bad-ass. He can probably buy a western gangsta in one market and sell him in another in a few minutes. The markets have to be situated in Bangladesh though. The Dhakaiya Gangsta probably doesn't have a passport and even if he does, he probably won't get the visa to go to 'Amrika'.

He is awesome.



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