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Tweeting with the Twitter Bird

Story: Sarah Nafisa Shahid
Art: Prithi Khalique

We know that our readers love animals; which is why this week RS invited a special animal to its office - The Twitter Bird. Possibly called @Twitty (similar to Tweety if it was on Twitter).

RS: So, how does it feel to be a social network emblem?
@Twitty: Oh it's great! I mean all the other networks just have letters and what not, but I am something more. A proper symbol. You don't see #Batman wearing a 'B' now, do you?

RS: But, Superman wears an 'S'.
@Twitty: He also wears red underwear over his pants and changes to #ClarkKent by simply putting on glasses.

RS: Point. I'll assume you dislike Superman.
@Twitty: No, this bird doesn't hate. Not even #Beliebers or #Twihards.

RS: Oh yes, apparently most of Twitter's trending topics are about deep matters like Kim Kardashian's dinner or RVP's transfer.
@Twitty: Twitter too has its fare share of nut-heads. And then it has verified accounts of everyone who is anyone.

RS: So does Myspace. What's the difference?
@Twitty: Unlike @Myspace, Twitter isn't a distant memory of Internet's Stone Age

RS: Cool. So, you chill amongst the Facebook generation?
@Twitty: Oh please, Twitter's too hipster for that. I mean, even Digital Bangladesh wasn't tech-savvy enough to make me mainstream.

RS: Maybe because people connect through Facebook here. After all, Zuckerberg didn't become a millionaire from nothing.
@Twitty: Facebook might think it connects people but twitter connects people with celebrities, politicians, and @Voldy_7.

RS: Why does Voldemort have a Twitter?
@Twitty: Because he can vent his dissatisfaction about not having a nose all day. Twitter sort of makes for a good anger management therapy since you can rant there infinitely, and that too while on the move. Also, Voldemort's head is one of my favourite potty places.

RS: That's gross. Is Twitter full of gross things like that?
@Twitty: No. Just a hell lot of stalkers. After all, Twitter encourages you to have 'followers'.

RS: Isn't there any escape from it? Stalkers are scary.
@Twitty: Of course, you can always protect your tweets but what's the fun of being in twitter then?

RS: Why not? Better than getting analysed by crazy followers.
@Twitty: But what about the crazy ones among your close friends? But yes, you do have a point. Protecting your tweets will not provoke random people into starting bad fights with your controversial opinions about the best music genre.

RS: Because everyone knows the best music genre is Rock. The classic one.
@Twitty: I'm sure Gaga's little monsters will disagree and she has the biggest following on Twitter.

RS: So? You can't make judgements from fan following on a social network.
@Twitty: Actually, twitter's projection of the collective thought is so accurate that you can invest on the stock market based on assumptions made from tweets and actually expect a good turnover. Or so says research.

RS: Researchers actually search through people's tweets just like that?
@Twitty: If you are lucky, your tweet might even make it to some news network's 9pm live. After all, the tweets are the voices of the masses.

RS: But I thought Twitter was pretty hipster.
@Twitty: For #Hipster masses. Like me. Now, excuse me while I make this interview a Trending Topic on the site.

Oppa Gulshan Style
Cheap places to eat in Gulshan

By Munawar Mobin

Let's face it; living it Gulshan style is expensive, what with roadside shingaras costing 10tk and what not. Every now and then we go to a restaurant or a food place, with friends, family, girlfriends, potential girlfriends, man-dates, and maybe even pets too (yes, we know some of you are forever-alones). We eat, have a good time, contribute to the conversations, wait for the bill, want to skip out on the bill but sadly end up paying it and vowing never to come back again. These restaurants are a-plenty, but (ironically) just like ninjas at the sushi bars, there are cheap food places out there, hiding in plain sight.

So, we've put to task the fattest and laziest of reporters (just me, btw) to scout Gulshan for such places and this is what we've got:

1) Candyfloss: Located in the middle of the inner skirts of the Gulshan-2 circle (the road before Westin), this tiny store boasts almost four chairs, just enough space for a maximum of 12 people, and the best hotdogs this town has had the pleasure of consuming. The hotdogs are 65tk each, and the supplies are all done and served if you come after 7pm. It's not the meat or the bun that makes the difference; it's the delicate combo of those two and the three sauces they offer in the store. Don't visit the store with less than 200tk, because in there, three is a party.

2) Berlin Bakery: This tiny store was initially a cart selling fried chicken and French fries beside the Gulshan-2 bus stand. They now have a (still tiny) store, just two shops before Candyfloss, but they still have the cart as well. Both the places provide great chicken fry and fries, and just like Candyfloss, their homemade salt makes everything crispier, tastier, crunchier, better. The unfortunate bit is that they aren't the best place for consistency, so a bad chicken meal here and there can be expected when visiting. Chicken is 30tk per piece.

3) Mollika Snacks: Sometimes you go around the city and you realise that it just seems way too much for Dhaka to have a store with an appropriate name for whatever it sells. But then there's always something like Mollika Snacks, a place which actually sells snacks, in the sense that every supposed-stomach-filling item has been to reduced in size and is surprisingly offered for a reduced price too. There are two shops we're aware of in the Gulshan area, one on the second floor of Rupayan (mall opposite to the Trust Bank and Grameen Phone Centre), the other sitting near the mouth of the Gulshan-1 circle. Cheap food that makes you feel like a giant. What more can you ask for?

4) Timeout: Timeout is the poor man's Bellagio, where a fitting meal wouldn't cost more than 300tk. Their steaks, noodles and mushrooms, tacos, burritos, red and green curry, and most of the other stuff on the menu, is cheap, worth the money and shockingly good. There is one in Banani (just worth mentioning) and obviously, one in Gulshan-1, Road-23(building at the end of the road opposite to A&W).

5) Burger World, Washington hotel: 400tk isn't much is it? Well, that's what they charge you for a Mega Big Jack meal at Burger World (right beside A&W, two yards from Gulshan-1 circle). Sounds steep, doesn't it? Well, it's 400tk for a burger the size of a small plate, with three insanely-well-cooked patties, an egg, lettuce and salad, French fries and a coke. After a round of this, the following sleep feels like a nap on God's arms; cradled by all His love and burping out all the sleaze from that gorgeous burger. It's the best feel a burger can get you.

6) CP: We know you know what this is all about, so we'll just post the addresses for this one. If you don't know what we're talking about, get 200 bucks, put on your dirtiest t-shirt, and head down to one of these addresses:

One is nestled in the first half of the road opposite to (formerly) Wonderland; and the other behind the old Grameen Phone building, near the Grameen Phone Centre, in Gulshan-2.

Remember to wear loose pants. Happy eating, folks.


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