Feature

Shopping for love

A.H.M Ershad Uddin

MANY of us have, at one point or another, shopped for something on the Internet. Usually it is a digital camera or something as big as a car. But how about shopping for something even bigger, even more significant? I am not talking about a house but rather, a partner, at the click of a mouse.

Now, how many of you have shopped for a mate on the net? Okay, you do not have to admit it. But we have got to admit what a great service these Internet matrimonial sites offer. In the privacy of your own home, with the convenience of night or day Internet access, men and women around the world can “hook up” and virtually browse catalogs of potential matches, landing on the best match with the best qualifications. For lots of eligible men and women, matrimonial sites are the best option when it comes to finding someone. After having tapped out all resources within arm’s length, the Internet is an ideal stop, offering choices and opportunities from all over the world.

The way most sites work is quite simple. A candidate must first apply and be accepted, then after paying a fee, if applicable, and submitting a photo, the candidate is permitted to choose the specifications of the search. The candidates can limit their search by religion, region, age, ethnicity, and many other factors. After narrowing the search to one, the candidate can submit an email or notice indicating interest and then await a response. The response usually comes back in the form of an email or maybe an acceptance of the request for further contact. The rest then depends on the two individuals. They can communicate by email, by phone, or they can meet. The sites are secure and offer such services as nearly 100% tamper free photo reserves and background checks of potential candidates, verifying basic information including name, age, address, phone number and photo.

This hi tech, low stress method of finding the one offers individuals a great deal of control over their lives, as opposed to the old fashioned way of enduring an arranged marriage, in which parents find for you a good girl/boy. Parents look into the potential match's personal information and history, like age, weight, height complexion and education, not necessarily in that order. They look into the family background, including number of siblings and their status, ethnicity and occupation of father and mother…. actually, now that you think about it, it’s pretty much the same info that you would research on your own, on the net. But it would probably take you longer. No net is as fast as the parent net, a network of parents that are desperate to get their young and eligible youth married.

In a matter of the minutes required to make an initial phone call, parents can get the ball rolling fast, have your name in the circuit and circulating at a speed faster than high speed dial up. They can survey countless possibilities, narrowing the search down to all the ones that hail from the same alleyway in the same village, or all the ones that have last names ending in 'ji' or all the ones that are 'beautiful and fair' as opposed to just cute and 'whitish'.

But in all honesty, what do you look for when you search through all those candidates, checking out their bios, looking at their photos, wondering what your parents will think of him or her? Don't you essentially research the same info? Don't you look for essentially the same answers even though your questions might be different? It just goes to show that our parents had the right idea which is research a potential marriage candidate for the gory details before allowing an interface.

(International Islamic university Chittagong, - IIUC).