Funny Bones

Pray for gifts

Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents the week before Christmas. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs.

"I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE...
I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO...
I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR..."

His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf." To which the little brother replied, "No, but Grandma is!"

Why Women Would Love Being Santa Claus

1. You'd never be expected to make the coffee.
2. There'd be no more early morning decisions about what to wear
to the office.
3. You could grow a gut the size of Fat Albert's and consider it
a job requirement.
4. One big black belt - accessorized for life!
5. There'd be no reason to have your colors done.
6. Everyone would be extremely nice to you, even if you weren't.
7. Should people suggest your belly jiggled...that is when you
giggled...like a bowlful of jelly, you could hit them with
your purse.
8. You'd always work in sensible footwear.
9. There'd be no need to play office politics; a hearty 'Ho!
Ho! Ho!', would remind everyone who's boss.
10. You wouldn't need an expensive briefcase.
11. No one would dare ask for a ride to work.
12. Never again have to wear pantyhose or worry about your slip
showing.
13. No more trips to the vending machine...you'd just snack on
milk and cookies all day long.
14. You'd never be asked to take an early retirement package.
15. Juggling work and family would be a breeze because your
children would adore you; even your teen-agers would want to
sit in your lap.
16. You'd be guaranteed the best chair in the office.
17. Age discrimination wouldn't be an issue.
18. You'd never grab the wrong coat on your way out the door.
19. No one would ask to see your job description.
20. Your co-workers would be on notice that they'd better not
pout.