Made in Heaven . . . ?
was not a very romantic person, and furthermore he was
rather stupid. But he wanted to impress his wife, so
he took her out for an anniversary dinner and watched
the couples around them, following their leads.
He observed the couple next to him. The man lifted a
sugar shaker towards his wife's cup and said, "Sugar,
sugar?" Joe thought this was great and continued
to listen around the dining room.
Another table over Joe observed the following. A man
spooned out some honey out of a bowl for his wife and
asked, "Honey, honey?" Again Joe thought this
was good stuff.
Finally, he cut off a piece of his meat, stared longingly
into his young wife's eyes and said, "Beef, cow?"
man left for work one Friday afternoon. But it was payday,
so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend
partying with the boys and spending his entire pay check.
When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night, he
was confronted by his angry wife and was barraged for
nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions.
Finally his wife stopped the nagging and said to him,
"How would you like it if you didn't see me for
two or three days?"
He replied, "That would be fine with me."
Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and
Wednesday came and went with the same results. But on
Thursday, the swelling went down just enough where he
could see her a little out of the corner of his left
asked Dawn thoughtfully one day, "what would you
do if you caught your husband with another woman?"
"Another woman with MY husband?" Mary thought
"Let's see; I'd break her cane, shoot her guide
dog, and call a cab to take her back to the institution
she escaped from."
husband and wife were at a party chatting with some
friends when the subject of marriage counselling came
"Oh, we'll never need that. My wife and I have
a great relationship," the husband explained. "She
was a communications major in college and I majored
in theatre arts."
He continued, "She communicates well and I act
like I'm listening."
before had Sue looked in the box that her husband Fred
kept under their bed. The box had been there for the
past 20 years of their marriage but she had never invaded
his privacy. One day, while cleaning, she decided to
take a look in the box. She didn't figure it was anything
he was hiding since she could have looked at it any
other time but hadn't. In the box she found three eggs
and ten thousand dollars. This seemed very strange so
she went to Fred and asked, “Why are there 3 eggs in
a box under our bed?”
He replied, “Well, every time I was
unfaithful to you, I put an egg in the box.”
Sue was surprised and hurt that he had
been unfaithful but she consoled herself with the fact
that they had been married for over 20 years and he
had only been unfaithful three times. “But where did
the 10 thousand dollars come from?” she asked.
“Every time I got a dozen, I sold it.”